Bloggers Nightmare

Here and then they are gone

2010-02-17T14:38:00.000-08:00

You have to recall your blogger password in order to post...duh! SO maybe that is why it has taken me years to get back to blogging, or maybe it is because I feel so out of control due to everything around me that I need it?! I mean with FB and all who blogs anymore? Maybe I need to...

I went back and read the last post that I wrote, WOW, that was over a year old. Last time I wrote Haley was still here. Haley died last year. She lost her very brave battle with cancer. She got to have her Disney trip to Walt Disney World, and was a Princess in the kingdom that dreams do come true! The photos of her are amazing, the loss was devistating, something that even today will knock me to my knees. I pray for Kristin and Richard for comfort in the loss of Haley, because as a parent I just cannot imagine the pain that they must feel. I feel so much guilt complaining about the day to day problems I have with Syd and what we deal with. Knowing that in a heartbeat they would trade places. I should be grateful for what I do have. Be gracious, be gracious, be gracious!

Sydney is 5, wow, it seemed we were just turning 1 months ago. She has grown into this "person" with opinions and ideas that crack me up, but she still has the will of an army. So we try new tactics to get our point across, I am sure there are many videos of me in the local Wal-Mart beating some ass of Syd because she refuses to follow the rules. Yes, that would be me, I am that woman. Nothing makes me feel like a failure more than my 5 yr old!!! Sunday I was an "ugly monster." I am thinking of getting business cards that state that as my title. I am told by others that she is "wonderful, and so polite, and such a joy." These are not the key words I would pick when I would have to describe what I feel about her at times. More like, trying and head strong, and makes momma want to drink...yowza!

Sex toy parties STILL rock the house! I have decided that I cannot do it all, no matter what I want to tell myself, so Tastefully Simple has ended it career with me this year. I was sad/happy to see it go. I still love the prodcuts but as for the show part of it, I was done and over that long ago. I love my FYP parties like you would not believe and I get so much more out of them overall. It is hard to explain but I know that I still love it and I have to do what is right for me right now. That is all that I have at this moment.

Fell off the bloggin train

2008-12-18T08:21:00.000-08:00

I know it has been awhile but did not realize it has been THAT long. WOW. I wish I could say nothing much has happened, I know a lot has. But to sum it all up I truly cannot remember what has or has not transpired. Work is work, Syd amazing, each day she finds more amazing ways to test my ability to remain sane. I often question my ability to raise a responsible human with all of the curve balls she throws me. She tests and tests my patients and I know that this is her way to see what exactly she can get away with. It would be easier to say I give up, but I a) am not a quitter, b) she will not win, c) I am stubborn, d) what I say goes, e) I guess I like torture?

Each day I begin the day and seriously cringe because I don't know what I will be waking up. Why a college educated woman like myself thinks this way, I have not a clue. And if you are thinking "When I have kids, this will not happen to me." Let me tell you, I said the same damn thing. I had this shit all planned out and I wasn't going to let some little person run my world. Just you wait. They will throw your world upside down. Many times Scott and I sit back and wonder, how a trip just to the store could have been derailed and never taken place because she chose not to do one simple task like put on your coat or wash your hands. And seriously all hell breaks loose. We live by, we say it it must be done. And trust me, if you don't follow through on these small tiny things, they become huge issues when it comes to not listening.

On to happier notes. My wishes for this Christmas have already come true! How great is that?! I have had a friend who her husband had lost his job months ago and he got a job this week! I made out a list a few weeks ago of what I wanted for Christmas and the two things I listed were job for Chad and renewed health for Kimmer's husband. Seems that Kim's husband's levels are on the rise as well. I am putting on my list that Haley receive healing too, she is struggling with her cancer again. There is talk of her possibly going to St. Jude. Seems that Cooks Childrens in Ft. Worth is not able to do much else for her. She will be going on her Make a Wish trip shortly after the New Year and we are all very excited for her to go to Disney World! Please keep praying for her and her family!

Merry Christmas, blessings of goodwill to all and health and happiness for 2009.

Things that I have to comment on

2008-09-25T09:35:00.000-07:00

1.) Clay Aiken reveals that he is gay. Who JUST got this memo? Now because he has a child he cannot raise his child to lie and hide. So now he comes out, he is gay. Great Clay, bravo, guess what, we already knew.

2.) We recently got a letter from our HOA. We mind out VOTED for our HOA, we moved into our neighborhood before our HOA was established fully and was still under the control of the builder. Long story, redundant, stupid, but anyway, we got a letter a few weeks ago about our shed that was built two weeks after we moved into our house, almost 3 years ago. Before the HOA was put into place. Yes, you are reading that correctly. And the opening line of the letter is "The HOA Board has noticed you have constructed a shed on your property." Yeah, long before you were around fuckers. So, I have till October 31, 2008 to have my pre-existing shed approved by the HOA Board with PLANS and PHOTOS, or I will be fined $500.00 for not obtaining prior approval for construction projects. Who do I get prior approval from? Mind you the shingles on the damn shed were given to us by the freaking home builder so they would match our house, and we spoke to the warranty specialist of our subdivision about our shed, and utilized the specs provided in our HOA guidelines that were provided when we moved into the subdivision. BUT, since this time our home builder has since fired/laid off these former employees so I cannot obtain statements from these former employees in my "defense." So I have to write up a submission in regards to my freaking shed that houses my lawnmower and other home ownership needed items that I would not want to have thrown all around the yard and make it look trashy, that would be in violation of the HOA regulations! Heaven forbid you have a SHED! Or one built without prior approval, I understand their purpose, but why not have someone go around and ask the homeowners go door to door. They have done this before in regards to other issues....instead, I had to go to the dang post office and pick up a certified letter that cost over $5.00 to mail and waste time doing this pantie waste dog and pony show over a freaking shed....that they obviously looked over our fence to see.

3.) Grey's starts tonight. I can hardly wait. I am excited, stoked and ready for another year of Grey's. That damn writers strike last year really kicked the shit out of the TV viewing season for all of my shows! So I am ready for a full season of shows. No half assed season of 7 episodes and then seeing the same seven over and over and over again that I wanted to PUKE! Also, I must tout the greatness of The Office, I swear that show is freaking hilarious. The stupidity of that show just about sums up some of what I work with from time to time. And I am not lying. If I had a penny for every time I had someone question how the fax machine worked, I would be a rich woman. The statement did come out of someones mouth that "I don't know how to work that high-tech equipment" yeah it is REALLY high tech, because you cannot understand the concept of a flashing light telling you that the fax is going through. And if it does not flash it will print out the cover sheet and tell you FAILED, it is REALLY HIGH TECH!!! Or your a really big DUMB ASS. I vote the latter of the two, now get off of my island. Oh sorry wrong show.

4.) I have a party tomorrow night. Let's just say, it shall probably be one of the most interesting ones I do. And the group rhymes with ringers.

I sell it, it rocks, you want it, MY party hostesses get it for $29.00, it retails for $69.00...

2008-08-21T12:02:00.001-07:00

Better, Tired, and motivated

2008-07-30T07:15:00.000-07:00

I am doing better, working hard on myself and focusing on the positive and staying centered on what really matters most in my life. I am exhausted. We had our yearly vacation in FL with the family from NY and MD, is that the abbreviation for Maryland? It was nice to get away, next year I think I am opting to go sans child. Sydney was challenging? I think that would be a nice way to put it, three is ummm well hell. I hate three. I despise three, I would take two all over again to not have three. I feel lost of what to do with three. She is into doing what she wants to hurt you when you are putting her into time out. Yeah sounds fun, like scratching or hitting you with her head or kicking, I just love it, I just love looking like the ass with the child that runs the show. I don't know what to do, I stand my ground but inside but what the hell. Spanking does not seem to work because all I am doing is showing her that her hurting me makes me hurt her back. And then this noise she makes when you tell her something she does not want to hear she does this "ehh" sound and it just grates on my nerves, so we do the soap in the mouth, and that is not even working now. I am at a loss. I am going to have to get a book and figure this one out. ANY suggestion would be appreciated, I thought I would be good at this kid thing....ugh! I don't and won't have this bratty kid if that is the case we will stay locked in our home because I will not take her ass out into public and allow people to witness this behavior.

I took my first ever trip to Las Vegas last week and returned on Monday. It was for my For Your Pleasure business. It was fantastic. I had a blast. Vegas was fantastic, of course I didn't get to see everything I wanted to I knew I wouldn't but I did get to see a nice portion. I learned a lot and met some fantastic people. Bonded with the group of women from my area, cannot wait to apply what I learned into my business and next year Scott is going with me!! One thing I learned about Vegas, you never know what time it is, I lost total track of time. I don't know if it was because I had flown in from FL on Wednesday night and then Thursday afternoon I flew to Vegas. Our meetings started that night at 6 PM and we did not stop until Sunday at midnight. I am still trying to recover. 2-3 hours of sleep were about average because you are in VEGAS!!! Nobody sleeps in Vegas, that is what work is for!

The SUPER BONUS JACKPOT I hit before I even got on the plane to go to Vegas we that Kim an her family came in the day we came back from vacation and I got about 2 hours to spend with her before I flew out again. It was great. Just a few hours her and I chatting, and getting to see one another for a bit. She got to go with me to take Syd to school, Syd played shy, before we got there Syd talked all about her and then clammed right up. Kids gotta love them.

Having a big D in the big D

2008-07-10T13:21:00.000-07:00

I just love that commercial on TV that says "depression hurts." It makes me want to throw the TV out of the window. No depression does not hurt, it can cripple you, it can make you not want to speak, move, eat, sleep, wake-up, walk, blink, live, die, care, hope, dream, want, dress, wash, or anything one might want or have to do during the day. I have had bouts of depression in the past. But I have to say that the past four weeks have pretty much been the lowest pit that I have been in. So low that I have pretty much cut myself off from the world. My friends, my family, my co-workers, everyone. I would do what little I had to do each day to get by and the remainder I would just be. I shut down, hard. I am better, now, not out of my pit but I am talking again and that is 100% better than where I was at. I am by nature a talker, I will talk to anyone and anything, and I clammed up, I would not talk to anyone. I could not talk to anyone, I was afraid if I started to talk that I would lose it and not be able to gain control of myself. I don't like loss of control. That does not make me feel comfortable. A million of things hit me at once, that is life I know, but my inability to handle them and try to adjust as needed has taken its toll on me and I know that I needed help.

So, I called my doctor and I am back into my therapy, where I need to be and with some other medical adjustments I will pull myself out of my pit. Work is work, it is always a struggle. Life can get tricky at times, we have had our ups and downs recently. I don't cope well with things that hit me out of the blue. I have had some struggles and trying to adjust to a few bumps in the road has been hard.

I know I will pull out of this, but it has been hard. To just put forth the effort to even try and write about it was too much. I didn't even care to do that. It wasn't worth it, yet. But I am getting there.

He Will Know Why

2008-06-23T10:17:00.000-07:00

Still sorting it all out

2008-06-17T14:24:00.000-07:00

I am still trying to sort things out from last week. Things about the accident still have me rattled. I learned of some more details from a lady I met this weekend, some really disturbing details that I will not relay here. I have not slept well, and after learning this it made it a bit more disturbing.

Saturday was another day of adventure for Sydney and I, we were out shopping for Father's Day and the Target that earlier this week had a dead body in the parking lot, and yes we moved to this town because it was safe! Caught on fire, while we were just two doors down in the Ross! We walked out and Sydney saw the fire truck along with the firemen in their gear and she just freaked and started telling me "no Mommy don't go into the fire!" my poor baby! I am afraid I have freaked her out a bit about the whole fire thing. Seems that someone thought it was a good idea to catch the carts on fire. Needless to say it caught the side of the building on fire too, along with the roof as well. Really smart people. Fucktards.

I am in a funk, just depressed. My head no longer hurts, which is such a relief, I had a migraine that was 29 days long, I started to think that I was imagining the pain and when it was gone I knew I was not crazy. But there for awhile I was starting to wonder what the hell was up. I am overjoyed that my head does not hurt.

I think this whole economy thing really has me depressed. The price of gas has me very concerned. The cost of everything really has me concerned. I am disapointed because I feel that consumers are being forced to absorbe the rising cost of everything and paying more but not making more and the math just does not work. People want to bitch and moan about consumer spending being down but how the hell can people spend when they are having to spend $75.00 a week just to get to work when it was only $45.00 last year? I'm no math genuis but even I can see that I don't have the extra money because I have to go to work and I need gas to get there, so that take most of the money. Something has got to give.

Closed Casket

2008-06-12T19:27:00.000-07:00

This week has been hard. I guess harder than I have wanted to realize or accept and I guess harder than maybe it should be for me because it directly does not really effect me. Sunday morning, the owner of Sydney's school was killed suddenly by an a supposed drunk driver. Meredith Hatch was an avid cyclist tri-athlete, community activist for education and everywhere you looked she seemed to be involved. She was beautiful, kind, caring, resilient, smart, funny, passionate, full of life and now gone from this life and passed on to Higher ground. Leaving a husband, three boys aged, 12, 9 and 6. Two schools of staff that adored her and looked upon her with admiration and were honored to be lead by her and befriended by her. Her legacy will live on, forever, but her shoes will never be filled. Tonight was the visitation and this was the first that I have attended where the casket was closed. After seeing photos posted in the news broadcasts, I am sure that the accident was just too much for her body. She was training for another race in June, she had just completed an Ironman competition at Disney World last month. I don't think she knew the word can't, what a wonderful person to care for your child.

We were so lucky to have her develop the first school for Sydney to attend, my whole body aches for her family and the staff she has left behind. Tomorrow will be hard, as will the weeks to come as everyone comes to the realization that Meredith will not be coming back to us. I will miss her smile, she could light up a room. What a blessing we had, I wish I had another moment to speak with her, just to tell her thank you again for giving us such a wonderful place to take care of our child. Thank you Meredith Hatch for sharing part of your life with us, we will be forever change because of you. You will never be forgotten. God Speed.

Citizen's Fire Academy Graduation Video

2008-06-04T11:51:00.000-07:00

Burn baby Burn

2008-05-21T09:38:00.000-07:00

My knees hurt and unfortunately for Scott and for the rest of the two of you who read it is not for the sexual reasons you might be thinking.

Last night was my last fire class before graduation for the citizens fire academy and we had our live fire event. We went to a neighboring city to their training facility that they graciously let us utilize and got to fight an actual fire. It was amazing and scary and just beyond what I had ever imagined or thought to imagine. All I thought was that is not what I would think you would do. I only know from what I would see on TV and that is crap. I feel a bit foolish now, but how else would you know if that was all that you were exposed to? There was no busting through doors, no running around in a room filled with fire and smoke, in fact we never were on our feet. I asked while I was outside waiting for my turn to go in, if in fact do they enter each fire on their knees like we were instructed to do so. I was told yes because you have the best air close to the ground and you run less risk of flash over when you are low. So all this running in with water flowing out all over the place is crap, it is not like that at all. We walked in and then about three feet inside the door we went to our knees and walked on our knees while holding the fire hose in total darkness into the room that was on fire. We went in to the room in pairs, two students and one firefighter, we stayed close to the wall on our left side went all the way down to the end of the room on our knees, turned our bodies then turned on the hose nozzle to spray the water on the fire, after we put out the couch fire then the control room would send flash over fire over our heads and we would then fight that fire, then they would start up the couch fire again, and it would go back and forth like that over and over.

After you put the fire out, the room is pitch black. You have to follow the hose out by this time I am so freaking hot and breathing so hard I cannot even stand up, so someone had to come help me get up from the kneeling position I thought I would be in for the remainder of my life! I did the drill twice, the second time they made the room hotter and I just helped with the hose I did not do the nozzle end, that was fine, I walked on my knees out of the building this time and had to have people help me up this time due to my noodle legs. Walking on your knees while fighting a fire and then walking back takes a lot out of you. Wearing bunker gear and an air pack and your helmet and face shield makes you sweat like a pig. I have so much respect for the job the firefighters do. I have no idea how they physically can do it. I wish I had the physical and mental ability to do it, what a job, what dedication, what a group of people.

Anyone who lives in Dallas will find humor in this

2008-05-16T12:05:00.000-07:00

Read THIS

All I gotta say is karma is a bitch. And a fire truck of all things, WOW! This should be a MasterCard ad, it truly is priceless!!!

Thank you....

2008-05-12T10:56:00.001-07:00

I feel like this is an acceptance speech for an award I don't deserve.

I cannot express my thanks and gratitude to Kim and Her Hubby for the gift of a trip to CO to visit this past weekend. It by far is one of my top 10 gifts of all times. Saying I had a blast would be the biggest understatement of the year. The only bad thing about the trip is when I leave I am overcome with emotion of how much I miss Kim. To just say " I miss her" does not do it justice. I know I have said it over and over and anyone who might read this probably is whipped by my ongoing "I miss Kim" mantra. Kim is a Gift from God made just for me, I am convinced of that.

When we became friends and our friendship grew to more than just friends, I know this seems like it is making no sense, but I made a promise to myself that I would be honest with her and because I love her so much I owe that to her. Kim has had to deal with issues in her life, and her strength and resolve in dealing with them amazes me. She is so strong and I admire her so much. She remains focused and positive even when things keep trying to test her will. And when things are beating her down and causing her pain and anguish she always is there to listen to my silly worries too. She truly defines unconditional love.

It seems crazy that only knowing her for less than 10 years, (is that about right Kim?), that we are so close. I know to anyone else this probably seems like so stupid rambling writing that does not make much sense. There are so many parts of her life that I am not familiar with, not because she won't share, just that we have not known one another that long. I am learning more about where she grew up, where she met her Husband and all the other facets of her life. But the connection that I have to her is just amazing. I am so lucky to have her in my life. She makes me happy to be me because she is my friend. I just love the fact that I can tease her and rag on her (only because I love her so much) and we both just laugh about it. I did have a moment this weekend when I was afraid that I might have overstepped my boundaries with my mouthiness, and I had to step back, I knew I had to ask if I had hurt her feelings, not because she seemed to be upset, but I wanted to make sure that she knew I was only saying what I did because I cared about her. I am envious of her Sister "K" because she is her sister, I would love to be her sister so I would have the tie to Kim like she does. I hope and pray that her family knows what a true gift she is to this world. I love you so much Kimmers!!! Thank you for being my BFF.

(Oh, and my toes are better.)

My Dear Sweet Husband....
Thank you does not scratch the surface either in my gratitude for you. Never in my life have I had someone to love me the way you do. I used to think that the "Soul Mate" term was crap, until we met. You have completed the person I am with being in my life. People talk about defining moments in their life and I believe in a certain conversation we had many years ago I had this with you. I never believed in love at first sight until you. I admire your ability to love me no matter what shit I throw at you. I adore you because even when I am the meanest person on Earth, and yes I own that title, self given, you no matter what will always say "I Love You." I am not that big of a person.

Through all of my faults and all of my triumphs you have always been my biggest supporter, cheerleader and love of my life. To say, even when we fight I would never want to fight with anyone else but you. That probably sounds silly, but there is no one else I would ever want to be with. I am a huge talker and probably a big flirt, I don't try to be but I guess that is just part of my personality, but no matter what I only want to be your wife and only with you for the remainder of my life. I love you more because of the life we have created together, I love you more because of the daughter we have together. You are the best Father Sydney could ever have. She and I are the luckiest people on Earth to have you as our family. I know I am not an easy person to talk to at times and I don't admire you for having to deal with me. Thank you for not quitting on me or giving up, even when you can predict the outcome just from my personality. I love you.

To my Baby Girl Sydney
You made this Mother's Day the best yet. I just adore how you say "I love you too Mommy!" You were so snuggly yesterday and just for letting me hug and kiss you, I cherish those moments. Last night having dinner with you and Daddy was the best gift I have ever gotten. You are such a smart, beautiful little girl and I just love you more than life itself. You amaze me everyday and challenge me in ways I never knew possible. I never knew the depth of love until I had you. To tell you I am proud of you does not achieve the feelings I have for all the amazing and wonderful things you continue to do each day. I learn so much from you, thank you for teaching me and showing me the joy in the little things in life that many times adults miss out on. Thank you for loving Starbucks and ice cream, for loving going for a walk or playing on the playground. For dancing like a silly little girl and wanting to snuggle with me even if it is to prevent you from having to go right to bed after watching Pink Panther. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for making me stay strong when I want to give up, you make me want to be better to show you that anything is possible.

I love you.

I love you three more than you will ever know.

Thank you for loving me.

Mother's Day In Colorado

2008-05-07T14:40:00.000-07:00

I am going to see Kimmer's tomorrow night!! I have been waiting for this trip since she surprised me with it MONTHS ago!! SO my Mother's Day weekend will be filled with Kim and her Fam. Just being able to leave work is gift enough! I am so excited.

In sad moments of our lives, two weeks ago I had to put Millie, my Girl pug down. I have purposely not blogged about it because she was my first dog that I ever owned and this was beyond heart breaking for me. She was my baby and I adored her. She truly thought she was a person and dogs were beneath her. She was hilarious and I was so lucky to have her. Our house seems a bit bigger now that she is gone. I still expect her to be next to the bed when I get up in the morning and try not to step on her, but she is not there. It breaks my heart, but she is better now, no pain and no more illness, she was 13 years old and just plain old for a dog.

On more exciting notes, yesterday in my fire class, we got to use the jaws of life. I cut the A bar section of the car in half. I also broke a window and used the spreaders to pull the back door apart on the vehicle, all while dressed in full fire gear, bunker pants, boots, coat, helmet, goggles, gloves all that. I have a new appreciation for firemen walking around in all of the gear and not falling over from heat exhaustion. I was sweaty and nasty after being in the gear for over an hour working on the car. Our class cut the roof off and took it off of the car. I hope to get the photos sent to me, it was great. I am sore as hell today, the equipment is heavy and not the easiest thing to manage, but I did it. In two weeks it is our live fire. Oh and I am seriously thinking about doing a ride out with the careflite team in the helicopter.

Less than 24 hours till Colorado!!

Woo Hoo!!!

Headed to Crazy Town

2008-04-18T09:41:00.000-07:00

Or Waco, sorry could not resist. This weekend has afforded me the pleasure of a slight road trip to Waco. I had two "toy" parties booked this weekend and yesterday my Friday night party bombed out. This month is kicking my butt in no sales! But Saturday's is still on. The only real pisser about Friday, is the party where I was going they said that I could stay at their house on Friday so I did not have to travel back 1 1/2 hrs that night and then back the next day. Needless to say I could just go tomorrow but I had already made much needed plans to see my Sorority Mom in Waco on Saturday, and I have promised tons of times to make the trek and loved that this would make me have the time to do it. When Friday's party bombed I was determined to still go, so I called my good Sorority Mom and said, I am still coming but, can I stay with you tonight? So I am off to Waco later this afternoon and so excited to get some good chat time with Jen, my MOM! It cracks me up because I am older than my MOM! HA! I was legal before my MOM and that is just so crazy in college times!

I am so excited about my weekend trip to Waco, I wish that I could take Syd with me this weekend but considering my sales items it is not in the best interest and against the law to have her there with me, plus she has multiple actives booked on her calendar for this weekend. Daddy will be off to one of the many lakes in TX this weekend trying to hook that winner bass. I think he would be a true winner if he can stay in the boat this weekend, sorry, I just could not resist the comment go read his blog to get the whole low down.

In three weeks I will be in CO! I am SO excited about this. I have had some good mini vacations here recently, but why is it as soon as I get back to work I feel like I need another one??

Fear of the Dead

2008-04-14T13:34:00.000-07:00

In February when I was working on the Haley Hart Raffle I put together, while at City Hall I saw a brochure about the Citizens Fire Academy. So, I signed up, no questions asked thinking what a great way to learn about the fire system in my town. I am in week 3 of the 9 week schedule and yesterday I did a ride on. You know where you get to go on the fire truck and watch what they do. I am stoked about this, very excited not sure what all I will see or not see, just ready to experience something new.

I get to the station and they are out on a call. Then upon their return they get called to another call, (I am listening to this on the radio in the fire station lobby). After being there for about an hour and 15 min one unit arrives back and they usher me right in. I get assigned to any truck that goes out and I have a safety vest in both engines so what call comes in I am going out. They tell me that Sunday's are usually really quite days. I think, "OH great, I missed all of the action. Well, about 15 min later they come in and say a call is getting ready to come in, (they can see it when the 911 call comes in on a computer before it goes out over the radio) anyway, they say come on you are on ____ unit. We are told it is a vehicle accident. I am on a truck that carries all paramedic equipment just like an ambulance and also is a water truck. We get in and get buckled in, I put on the ear phones and you can talk to each person in the truck as well as hear the calls come in. I swear I am getting into the truck and you hear the signal from the show EMERGENCY! back in the 70's. That ERR OOO ERRR well, whatever you hear that. So we are ready to go and then they say, no we are going to another call, a heart attack call. So we start off on the other call and the other unit heads to the vehicle accident. Mind you the ambulance from our station is still out from the prior calls at the hospital and is not back so we have to use an ambulance from another station that is further away. So we start down the road with the sires blaring and we are going to a trailer park. Gravel roads, no road signs, thank GOD they knew where they were going because I would still be looking for the location.

Pass into another County, and we arrive after seeing someone flag us down over on the next street. We radio to the ambulance to take the second entrance (if you can call it that, do gravel roads constitute an entrance?) We get out and they fly past and miss the turn. They are having to haul ass back, people mark your freaking roads!!! So they unload gear and I am just standing there, they tell me to come on and we go into the trailer and on the couch is a man, that has suffered a heart attack and is not breathing and is well, yes dead. They start CPR and shock him twice, nothing, they are working quickly while totally calm and doing what they need to do to try and save this life. It is like a dance of sorts, they all work so damn well together. I was in awe of the teamwork and the pure artistry of it. I am handling things pretty well, in the moment standing not more than 10 feet away watching this. I hear the family member that called in to 911 start to get upset and say "if I just knew CPR." and it hits me, CPR is just like a smoke detector in your home, think I am joking, ask this persons family member.

They get the patient into the ambulance and one of our team members goes with the ambulance to assist on board with the patient. We wait to leave the scene until they get the patient IV'ed and ready to transport. By the time we get to the hospital they have given him an IV in his juggler and started him on some other meds. We park and go inside the ER. I am at the front desk in the ER and there are patients everywhere and I am just hanging out. Talking to one of the guys on the team I am with. He asks me if I have been to this hospital before, it is new in our area, I told him yes about my daughters accident 6 months ago and that I am very pleased with it. SO we are hanging out and I hear a nurse say "oh do we have a heartbeat?" I look over at the guy I am talking to and I ask "are they in there with him?" and he says oh yeah come on in.

So we go INTO THE ROOM where they are working on this person. I stand in there for about 15-20 min I really don't know and I watch them go into his femoral artery with a needle and then put in an IV from that artery. I watch them cut the clothes off of this person, I watch him bleed I watch them work on saving his life, not more than 3 feet in front of me. I thought that the paramedics do a dance, this is just amazing how this group of people work so calm and in an orderly fashion. It was amazing. Last report, they were careflighing this person to another hospital and one of the people I worked with last night told me that in all reality survival is not really working in favor of the patient because of the amount of time he was not breathing and did not have a heartbeat. Sad, freaky, and unreal. I loved it.

We did have a second call on our way back from the hospital, it was not quite as exciting but all an adventure. Difficulty in breathing, patient asks for them to give a breathing treatment and wants to know if they can leave medication for them to use later that night if they have problems breathing again. Mind you calling 911 does not mean you get medical attention at your beck and call and then have them go on their way. After I think 5 times asking they finally get the patient to agree to go to the hospital. Thank goodness because the breathing got worse from what I was told later. I do this again in a few weeks.

Sex toys rock

2008-03-11T13:44:00.000-07:00

Who knew you could make so much damn money selling this stuff? WOW, amazing. Now if this keeps up I just might get to quit my day job!

Come Home to Mama!

2008-02-06T13:12:00.000-08:00

Scott and Syd have been gone since Feb. 1, her 3rd birthday. I sent them both up to visit the great white north to see Grandma and Auntie Moose. They are currently waiting in Northern KY airport for the flight home and I am beyond ready to see both of them. Did the hiatus from Mommy and Wife make me party like a rock star...nope, not even close.

I had a Tastefully Simple convention in Dallas on Friday and all day Saturday. It was great, I got recognized twice for my team sales as a team leader and also in my recruting efforts. Along with many others it was amazing. I got to talk with so many other people who are very successful in their business and that really gets me excited about what I can do as well. For only being in the business for less than a year, I was top recognized and that is pretty impressive, well I think so!

So, coming back to the casa on Saturday evening I had thought I would just eat up being by myself. My parents are still with is for a few more weeks so totally alone is not in the cards. But when I got home no one was there and it was just sad.

No sounds of playing, no Mommy questions, no can I have this, no nada nothing. And yes, it sucked. My parents came home shortly after my arrival and we did go out for dinner and that was nice. But we all agreeded we missed the fam.

It has been very quite at my home, I am ready for toys to be all over the house, for chasing a little girl for a bath, for hugs and kisses from both her and her daddy. I am ready to be a Mommy again. 5 years ago this would have never crossed my mind. When planning this trip for them I just imagined reading at my leisure, doing things at my own pace. I discovered my family is my pace and I did not even crack a book open. I layed awake at night hoping that Wednesday would arrive sooner just because I needed them both back. I know in a few days I will be back to the stress of family life, and it was nice to have a short break. But you find your happiness in your family and you cannot be truly happy when that part is missing.

Daddy is currently wrestling with a cranky 3 year old at the airport, waiting for a delayed plane so they can fly home. He has done a fantastic job with her and I am so lucky that I have a husband that will take these gifts of parenting. Many daddies I know would not even dream of taking a trip like this sans Mother. But it was good for all parties involved. She got massive Grandma time and he got to enjoy his family. I hope to go with them sometime back to Albany, but I just don't "do" snow. It makes me VERY cranky!

Kimmers is flying me to visit her in May! I will get to visit another part of the Country that I have yet to venture to. I am stoked, another weekend for Daddy to wrestle the 3 year old, but on his own home turf.

Besides the travel, I have also been working very hard on a local issue in our community. A child that attends Sydney's school has been diagnosed with Kidney Cancer, she is 4. So in light of this terrible tragedy I have started a raffle fundraiser for Haley Hart. The raffle is February 14, 2008 in the Mansfield City Hall Rotunda. There also is a proclomation for February 14, 2008 to be Haley Hart Day in Mansfield. Thank you former Mayor Barton Scott for your assistance on this for me! You will always have a supporter in me! So if anyone wants to read Princess Haley's Story please go to http://www.haleyhartfund.org/ to read her story. She is just precious.

Well just about 3 hours left till they arrive home. Cannot wait to hug and kiss them both!

Where did this year go?

2007-12-06T09:38:00.000-08:00

Yes, she is beyond adorable. Then she can have moments that even this cute face can drive you to down liters of vodka in record time.

Yeah we are all saying it, and in that freaking rush to get the best and brightest gift for our loved ones. I have yet to really get into the swing of things this year. I think I am so preoccupied with all my TS events that shopping for the family has taken a huge backseat this year. I have not even been in the decorating mood either. Thank Goodness for Scott and my Mom doing it all or we would still have Thanksgiving dishes on the table.

Kim's Son turns 3 next week. I don't know where the hell that time has gone. I swear it was just a few days ago we were both VERY pregnant and so naive about having children and all the wonders of it all. HAHAHA!! Boy were we totally snowed! No the kiddos are great. Little Man and Sydney will make a wonderful couple in 30 years when the walk down the aisle together pledging their love for one another. Yeah I have this all figured out! Seeing the height Little Man is packing and Sydney's height, boy we are talking HUGE height potential in those kiddos!

I am convinced the number one dumbest Christmas Song is Dominic the Christmas Donkey. It is by far the most irritating and lacking humor Christmas Song. Who ever wrote this should be kicked by a donkey.

I have a term that I use in the house when Sydney e-x-t-e-n-d-s the amount of time she takes to do a SMALL task. I say "quit jackin around." Funny but seem to work. So the term jackin around is used a lot in my house. Since my parents have moved in the time she spends with my parents has been increased to enormous amounts. On Sunday my Mother informed me that while they were eating she was doing something at the table. I don't quite know what but my Mom asked Sydney "do you do that at school when you eat?" Sydney informs my Mom that "yeah we jackin around at the table and get in trouble." My question, how many times has she told her friends to "stop jackin around?" Oh such a proud moment.

She also has been saying butt. I don't know but a 2 yr old almost 3 saying butt does not impress me. So we are trying to inform her that "we don't say that it is a bad word." She now will look at you and say "We don't say 'butt', it is a bad word." What the HELL do you do with that! It takes every grain of sanity I can do to not just crack up laughing.

Well, I better quit jackin around and get back to work.

Turkey?

2007-11-19T14:18:00.000-08:00

Yep time for the big ol' fat bird. Took Syd and my Mom yesterday to the store, got the 5 gallon paint bucket, the bird and all the brine ingredients. Looking forward to a repeat of last years rockin turkey. It was beyond outstanding. I think that the table was set in the most picturesque manner until I looked closer and saw that my Husband had put the plastic Dickey's BBQ cup on the table. Classy!

I hope to get one or two photos of the nice table sans Dickey's BBQ cup this year. Also on my to do list before the big cooking fest day is get a new pair of crocs. I wore them last year while on my feet all day and I have to tell you, my feet and legs never hurt after standing on a tile floor for 5 hours the night before and from 6 am till 2 pm on Thanksgiving Day last year. Amazing, ugly but amazing. So gotta do that here in the next few days.

Things have settled down tremendously for me, the last 4 weeks have been so freaking crazy. I have lived in my car going from one TS event to another. I know that it has been hard on myself and my body but most of all my family. They all have been wonderful in helping me pull this marathon off. Just two more weeks of craziness and I think we will be just about done. this week is TS free and I am looking forward to the break.

I am ready for some turkey and family and just being lazy. I am ready for Thanksgiving 2007!!!

Confusion

2007-11-16T09:24:00.000-08:00

Words hurt.

I am hurting. I feel sick. I cannot process this.

And it is OVER!

2007-10-29T11:43:00.000-07:00

Another baseball season has ended...wooo hooo!!! I must say I am very proud of the Boston Red Sox. Being that I live with a Die Hard BoSox Fan it is easy to get caught up in the excitement of seeing a team that people bagged on for years come back and show their shit. Very proud. And THANK GOD, baseball is over. I could learn to possibly really like the game, but it can be so damn slow and boring at times. I have been known to go to a Texas Rangers game and ask if I could read a book. YAWN! And the fact that baseball is on every freaking night and the number of games played is just really a bit too much for my baseball appetite. I am sure in just a few weeks I will hear "Pitcher and catchers report in 97 days!" And it starts all over again.

I think from here on out till Christmas I will not know if I am coming or going. I am just that busy, and I LOVE IT!

Here one day gone the next

2007-10-07T05:09:00.000-07:00

This past week has been just beyond depressing and overwhelming for me. Work has been just about more than I can handle. A few weeks ago I had to go to the dr due to chest pains. I was told it is due to stress, and to have a few drinks at night to help me relax a bit. I am working on this...ha!

Mind you my boss left over a week ago to go to Mongolia for ANOTHER fucking hunt. Yeah his hunting schedule is "cut back this year", yeah my ass it is. I think we are about to 60 days gone on the hunting trips so far this year and we still have November and December.

And the moment that pretty much put me over the edge, Thursday I woke up getting ready for work and Bucky my black pug was running into things and unable to see anything. Seems after the blood work he has SARDS, no cure and pretty much they go to bed able to see one day and the next day complete blindness in both eyes. It is just devastating, he is my "little handsome" and he and I have always had such a special bond. After having 4 dogs this one adored me. From day one, he has been my dog. Needless to say he is very confused and struggling. He will adapt and still live a long life he is not suffering and they said that soon he will be back to his chipper self. Now that I know what is going on, he has blown up like a balloon in the past few months, I just thought he was mad at me. It is depression from the onset of the blindness. IF they could only talk and say, "hey, things are a little hard to see here."

I am keeping my chin up, trying to work on my positive thoughts. My Tastefully Simple calendar for the month of October has just about exploded all over the place. And November is filling up fast too.

I wonder what happened to those funny posts I used to have?

Syd is beyond amazing. She can still be the 2 yr old that makes me want to drink myself into a stupor because it is so freaking frustrating at times. But then we have days where she is so funny and tells me some of the most hillarious things ever. After we pray at night before bed we say "thanks be to God" when she says this it sounds like "Gawd" Her best Archie Bunker imitation! She is just really focused on "when I get bigger and bigger I can have ______" Then she will tell us she is big and strong from eating her dinner. Yeah one bite of something does not constitute world heavy weight champion status there sweetie!

She came home singing "Little Bunny Foo Foo" the other day. I asked her to sing the song for Gran-Gran that she was singing at school. She looked at my Mother and I and said "Little Bunny Poo Poo?" and proceeded to laugh her ass off. I truly expected this at the age of 5 or 6 but at 2 1/2 it floored me.

As Sydney would say "I'm so crazy momma." When did I become Momma? A month ago I was still Mommy. Daddy is still Daddy, but I am now Momma. Damn it!

A letter from my hero

2007-09-24T07:51:00.000-07:00

Kim, my BFF wrote this letter to her Mother. Kim has the strength that I admire. The crap that she deals with just makes me love and admire her more. I just do not know how she can go through this battle and still remain sane. She continues to put forth effort and love even when I think it would be harder to just let go. I try as I might to lend an ear and help if I can. She remains strong and I just am in awe of her. I am such a lucky person to be able to call her my best friend. Times like this make the miles that separate us even harder, but it makes our friendship even stronger.

She is my hero. I love you Kimmers!

Do I write about it or not

2007-09-21T10:39:00.000-07:00

My fear is if I write about this, my husband will think that this "event" is something that I am obsessing over it. I don't want to seem to make a bigger deal out of this than it is, but it is a factor of something that I have known I would have to deal with eventually. And I did quite well I must say. I am proud of me. So here goes:

Last Sunday I saw my ex-husband. First time I have seen him in person in over 10 years. It was a shock. I was completely taken off guard and I think that is what hit me the hardest. I hate being surprised. Of course this all happens when I am alone shopping on a Sunday, by myself, and looking like shit. Migraine and all strolling around in a craft store. Walking down the main isle and I hear my name being said in a questioning manner. I answer yes and look up and there he is. My first thought, "oh shit." He stuck out his hand, we shook hands, I said "Hey!" in a VERY surprised manner, said "how are you doing?" out of shock, and he says "very well" and that was it. Done. Needless to say I was shaken up. Afterwards I thought of all of these great things I could have said, but I think the way things played out, it was the best for all parties. I also like the fact that he approached me, because heaven forbid anyone think that I was stalking him or trying to find him. Plus I always wondered if we did happen to run into one another would he or I say anything to each other. Neither one of us had anyone with us, so it was probably less awkward for both parties.

It is done, I never have to worry about the "what if" again. I am glad that we can be adults and just go with the flow. I am glad that we both have moved forward and realize that our lives are so much better now than they were before. He has become extremely successful in his life and I am proud of him. Words I never thought I would say, I guess the anger and pettiness has left, and I am glad to put that all behind me.

Oh yeah, I promoted in my Tastefully Simple business. I have now 4 recruits and I also got my first bonus check from my down line sales. Easiest money I have ever made. LOVE IT!

So much and yet so little

2007-08-31T08:06:00.000-07:00

Vacation came and went, gone in a flash. Work is still work. Tastefully Simple is still there, each day the gratification out of the work I do with it grows. I did an expo event with one of my down line consultants. That was last weekend and it was such a learning experience. We had some drama the glass shelving units we had displaying the product all collapsed. The shattering of glass could be heard I would swear around the world. Thank goodness it was right at the close of the show the first day. I think Christy and I were both in shock. We had the help of many other show vendors and now when I look back on it, it was funny. We only lost two bottles of product, that was amazing in its self. Here is a photo of when we set up on Saturday, before we had the collapse.

It has been an adventure, each day I feel like I am being exposed to some other new idea and possibility. The more I work my day job, the more I wish I could do this full time.

Yesterday's revelation

2007-08-01T07:51:00.000-07:00

OK, for the past few weeks my boss again has been out of the country...again. Needless to say I get to put on the big hat and deal with more crap than normal. fun! Yesterday I decided I was going on strike and refusing to work with dumb people. I think with this new idea I will never work again.

I guess people come to work in order for someone else to think for them. Everyday I encounter someone else that proves yet again, I am a fucking genius. The piece of paper that hangs in my office saying that I have the ability to manage people, that is a crock. I need a yard stick and a bull horn. And even that at times does not seem to do the trick. I am thinking stun gun. Everyday I leave work thinking even if i didn't do a damn thing today, I did more than a lot of people who are employed here.

I so need my vacation. I have 5 more days of work, how much vodka will it take to make it through Mr. Owl?

The only way to get away is to make myself go

2007-07-12T14:52:00.000-07:00

Kind of silly. All this philosophising means to translate to: I do not take my vacation time, I take maybe 10 days of the 20 days I have each year. I think currently I have 6 or 6 1/2 weeks to take. Needless to say is that I do not take the time given to me each year. SO, this weekend Scott and I had a weekend away, left on Saturday and came home on Monday. We did one of those you can stay here for cheap if you listen to our 90 min talk of "why you should buy a timeshare." Hey I ain't proud, I am a cheap money grubbing whore, sorry that is what I call myself. Scott has been reduced to my ways and looks at me and asks when I turned Jewish many many times here in the recent future. Sorry I am a cheap cheap person. So we did our speech, the whole thing was "supposed to be" 90 minutes. YEAH, 5 yes I said 5 hours later, we walk out the new owner of a timeshare. I know you are saying "SUCKER." Hey, we went down and before I left you can ask everyone I know I was saying "I am not buying a damn thing." OK so my point being here, if I have to pay each month I will be taking my damn vacation. Pretty much if I pay for something I use it until you cannot get anything out of it anymore. I am currently working on a monitor at work that consistently blinks on and off because it is DYING and I refuse, yes refuse to buy a new one. And don't get me started on the toner and ink cartridges. I am sure my parents are so proud.

Needless to say my Dad completely ripped my ass about my "senseless purchase." I think I heard the line "if you were to take that $ each month and invest it you could take a very nice vacation anywhere each year." And if I was disciplined enough I could do a lot of other things, but sorry in my world, it just does not work that way. The resort we stayed and purchased at is just a few hours away and offers exactly what we need as a family, the kids activities alone are amazing. I can get tons of weekend trips this way than I could before. This is the only way I will be making myself use what I earn, many, many times over.

Pick yourself, dust yourself off and try again

2007-07-05T07:05:00.000-07:00

Due to ongoing illnesses, first sinus crap and then the lovely flu that knocked the crap out of me for 4 solid days. My stellar positive outlook on things took a complete nose dive. I felt like crap and pretty much my actions spoke of such. So, I am re-focusing myself and trying so hard not to let this wet, wet, wet weather take its emotional beating on my life. Wet means no work for construction and that makes my life pretty difficult to deal with. BUT I am getting through it and thinking positive that things will be fine. It will dry out and we will be busy as shit and I will have a great remainder of the year.

Tastefully Simple rocks, I can sell some fucking food. Sometimes it is just too easy. I LOVE it. Wish I could do it full time, I truly love it.

Sydney is amazing. I swear she is the smartest kid on earth. The stuff she says and knows blows me away. Tuesday she told me she was like a water buffalo. Tell me another 2 yr old that says that. They were reading about them at school. She cracks me up.

And the kicker of it all. Scott just told me he is digging a Carrie Underwood song. Sorry if I spell her name wrong, I am not to familiar with her. This from the man trying to find someone to go to Marilyn Manson with him in a few months. That just about takes the cake.

Don't wanna do a damn thing

2007-06-25T14:44:00.001-07:00

Has pretty much been my motto for work recently! The thought of just going can be such a pain in the ass. I so need that winning lottery ticket!! Things have been busy in our little family life. Scott going here and me there, we meet up in the middle to pass the kid off to one another. Pretty much any free time Scott has he is on the lake fishing, or doing yard work, or washing the cars. That pretty much sums up our weekends, me taking Syd out with me to run the errands I have to get done on the two days away from work.

This week is going to be sweet! Tomorrow night I am going to see The Police, Kim was not able to make it back down for the concert, but she will be here for a weekend next month. I am going with another friend of mine and cannot wait. Four of us are meeting up and then each group of two will go our separate ways to our seats. I won't be close but I will be in the building and that is all that matters!! Wednesday I am taking the day off. I am sure I will be busy doing other things but hopefully I will have a peaceful day just doing things I want to do.

Now if work tomorrow will just fly by I will be in good order.

Older we get the sicker we are?

2007-06-18T06:59:00.000-07:00

Every time I turn around it seems like I have this sinus irritation that causes me to hack and feel miserable for about 5 days. Trying to tend to a 2 yr old while feeling like you have been run over by a truck can get a bit defeating at times. I keep stating the positive even when I am frustrated and want to kick her 2 yr old butt. Nothing brings out the 2 yr old in an adult like a 2 yr old. God I love her so much but at times I just want to look her in the eyes and say "DO IT THIS WAY!!!!, IT WILL SAVE US SO MUCH TIME AND BE EASIER!!" But if you do this you get a fit beyond fits. And the "No I do it!" Screaming match. I was such a better parent before I had a child. I am so lucky, but frustration should be a new parental illness. I would love to be able to call in to work and say "Sorry I won't be in today, I am suffering from frustration of dealing with a 2 yr old." Do you think FMLA would cover this?

I truly hope that my feeling like crap and just utter zombie like state yesterday did not rain on Scott's Father's Day. I was able to leave work early on Friday, not exactly at the time I wanted to but I did and we went fishing. I seriously love to fish. I don't know what it is about it, maybe that you have to concentrate and literally that is the only thing you can focus on when you are fishing. It rests my mind. Scott and I would do a lot of fishing before we had Sydney. Many weekend evenings we would go down to the dock and sit and fish for the evening. It was nice just to be outside and just relax. I do miss that, now if I have some spare time I seem to want to squeeze in some extra sleep! But we did fish on Friday and that was great, and that is what Scott had asked for as his Father's Day gift.

I have had two weekend off from my Tastefully Simple party schedule. I feel out of the loop and like a sales failure. My sales last week were zero and I really need to sell something this week to boost my self-esteem. I also need one more recruit!!! Then I am a team leader, I think that is the title, anyway. Any one want to sell food? I have a party on Saturday afternoon and I am working this one as a fund raiser for a friend that is doing the Breast Cancer three day. She has to raise $ 2,200.00 for herself to walk, not to mention the same amount for each of her team members. So we are doing this party as a fund raiser for her team. 10% of the sales dollars will go to her team. I hope it goes well for her.

I love my life

2007-06-12T14:48:00.000-07:00

When you decide to let it all go, and to just worry about the things in life that truly make you happy, you begin to really love the life you lead. I know I sound like some sort of inspirational video or something but I truly am seeing the reality of things, of what really matters. That I can achieve what I really want to in life if I just try and most of all dream. I think I have limited myself of what I could achieve due to hiccups in life. I get so bogged down with things that I view as failures but in reality they were lessons I needed to learn to help me succeed later in life. Call me crazy, but this is working for me, so I am working it right back.

Now I still have my moments of rage and anger and just being pissed off, but I think they have been sustained a bit by me just asking and telling what I want and need and expect. Hopefully my not yelling will help achieve these things plus good old fashion work.

I rock.

Something I witness weekly

2007-05-21T09:57:00.000-07:00

There is a news article here I just found. Scott and I see this pretty much each week and it scares the hell out of me. Not just for the dumbasses on the motorcycles but the drivers like myself that could be witness or possibly a car that is involved in an accident like this. I swear to you we drive this road daily and they do this all the time. It scares the hell out of me.

I am looking forward to the long weekend already. Sad but true! Sydney had a swim birthday party on Saturday. She did OK considering it was a new place and she has never been in the water at a "real" pool by herself. She continues to say things everyday that just crack me up. Recently she told my Mom. "Don't put cheese up your nose." Don't know why she felt she needed to provide us with this news flash but I guess someone at school tried to put cheese up their nose.

Crazy kids!

Less than a week

2007-05-18T19:16:00.001-07:00

And Kim is back in Texas. Oh goodie oh goodie!!! I have managed to score some time that she has to dedicate to me, she is doing my blast off party with Tastefully Simple. SCORE!

Life has been busy and good. I have "adopted" a new outlook on things and working on being positive thoughts. Ever since this change work has been less stressful and I have really begun to see things in a different manner.

Wow, what a concept.

Throat hurts send meds stat!

2007-04-26T07:29:00.000-07:00

For some glorious reason I have gotten sick. I am sure it has nothing to do with the freaky ass weather that we have had during the past month. Snow the weekend of Easter, hot during the week, cold weekends and now possibly spring weather. There are these pretty yellow flowers blooming everywhere and I am so afraid that is part of the reason I feel so crappy. Sunday I had no voice, this seems to be the new trend, first day of illness no voice the remainder froggy but a voice. My ear and throat are hurting on and off and lack of sleep makes it 100000000 times worse. But I did sleep last night, freaking amazing.

We are getting geared up for the crawfish boil this weekend. We will be boiling well my Dad will 250 pounds of crawfish and it is a great time. Of course I would be sick!! I have been on vacation starting yesterday and only spent 1 1/2 hours on the phone with work!!! Yeah something has got to give here! Sister in law and her boyfriend are on their way from NY. They were scheduled to arrive at 11'sh this AM. Well, now that has changed thanks to the airlines. They will now be arriving at 4 pm today. Nothing like losing almost a whole day!!!

Syd is trying my patients. At times I think all I am doing is fucking this up. I get so damn frustrated and know that I have to stick to the rules set forth, but fuck!! Get a clue kid, sit for 2 min and don't jack around for 10 and we will be done!!! God it can be overwhelming....

Student of the week

2007-04-23T14:03:00.000-07:00

Translation- Parent will bust ass to make poster board with photos of child. Parent will spend $$$ on paper, stickers, and all the other hub-bub needed to make the poster better than all the other ones that have been done before hand. Oh yes, the child is supposed to help on this project too. I hate to tell you but, the ones I have seen in the past, the kiddos probably were not even allowed to touch the shrine built in their honor.

Guess what we are this week!!! The poster was supposed to be turned in today. I am sick as a dog and did not have it in me to out perform past parentals on this project. Thank GOD for my neighbor and all of her scrap booking tools and paper and other assorted goodies she is letting me play with to make this poster. Lord help Syd, because Mommy is not what we might say...umm what is the word??? CREATIVE...yeah, so. Well it will be a group effort and I bet no one will be able to tell where my work begins and Syd's ends.

My two cents worth

2007-04-18T14:09:00.000-07:00

Virgina Tech, just like everyone else blogging about it. Unfortunately when all this mayhem went down on Monday I was in full on work mode and did not find out until I was leaving the office going home for a partial day of work. When I did have time to finally sit down and find out what the hell happened Syd was home. I remember distinctly watching some reports about effects of massive tv coverage on children after the events of 9-11. Yes, I am becoming that person. I remember the report saying that many children that saw the news footage of the planes hitting the buildings that many children thought that this was happening over and over each time they saw it on the television. Stepping back and looking at that from a child's perspective, I thought "Holy Shit! that has got to really freak a kid out." My point being, I did not turn on the TV until after she had gone to bed. Not until after 8 PM on Monday. What a tragic tragic event.

Last night I watched Primetime Live. I figured I had not watched much of the "stories" that have developed. I remember driving to work on Tuesday and someone saying this was the deadliest week in US history, then them naming all the incidents that have happened in our history during this week. I could name them but this would buy into the point that I found very valid, in my opinion. The person they interviewed in this one story said that the whole "worst week, or record breaking" titles and tags to these type of tragic events needs to be dropped. That by tagging these events with terms like "new high" or "record breaking" gives unstable individuals "goals" to hit. In my thinking, this makes sense.

And then they have to report on crap like what the "stars" are saying. Who gives a rats ass what any of them are saying.

But I guess what really makes me mad is hearing this constant blame game. Everyone wants to point a finger as to who failed here. The school, the police, the campus police, lack of an alert system, gun laws or lack there of, and it goes on and on and on. Do we need to blame anyone besides the one who did the killing? REALLY?! Everyone running around trying to point fingers here and there, but the finger pointing needs to be on the killer and the killer alone.

My two cents could be very unpopular. I am not saying I am not sorry about what happened. I feel very sorry for all the victims involved. Even the killers family. I know another unpopular opinion. I am sorry it all happened and pray that God can give comfort to everyone.

Taking a leap, jumping on board, whatever I am doing it

2007-04-14T14:25:00.000-07:00

OK, so my "new" thing currently is that I am "taking control of my life". I have decided that with all the stress that my job causes me that basically I want to be my own boss. Really, news here? Who does not want to be their own boss? After the past three years at my job I have really been put through hell and back, to some extent I think it is slowly killing me at times. My stress level at times is more that I can even share with anyone. I figure everyone has stress, but at times I think I am going to lose it, mind, body and soul. So during another one of my sleepless nights that anxiety has crashed through two sleeping pills I decided that I needed to do something to make myself secure. To take some control. Financially we did not win the lottery so I HAVE to work like 99.9995% of us out there. BUT, I did decide to become one of those independent consultants for another home based business. Drum roll please...I am a new Tastefully Simple Consultant. Kim also is a consultant and I had never heard of these products until she told me about them. I love them, it's food what's not to love. So, yeah, I am doing this. My goal is to make enough that I can with this pay for daycare. That would be an extra 10K a year. Yeah it is ridiculous but, well you do what you have to.

So if you care you can check out this website with the products, you can even order from the website. Cheap plug, you bet. But you get what you put out there. So here it is.

Update

2007-04-09T08:28:00.000-07:00

Laura called me just about an hour ago. She is doing wonderful and gets to go home today. Today was the first day I had heard from her. She sounds groggy and tired as to be expected. But she is OK!! Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers.

Scott's Grandmother died on Thursday, so things have been a bit off the past few days. I am comforted in the thought that she is where she has wanted to be for quite awhile and her dignity is no longer compromised because I know she hated the state she was in. It is a relief but still a loss is a loss.

Easter was great, I had a migraine but was able to make your very non-traditional fried chicken for dinner. It was great, and we had neighbors over on Saturday night just to hang and chat and eat. It was really nice.

I am taking a day to rest since my migraine knocked the crap out of me yesterday. Plus I deserve it.

A minute for Laura

2007-04-03T12:43:00.000-07:00

This will be short and sweet. In my daily business dealings, I have fostered a friendship with a woman in New York City. She works for a company that has very close dealings with my company and many days we pass multiple e-mails back and forth. The relationship has become a friendship over the e-mail lines and phone calls also are included. We have exchanged gifts during the holidays and both are Mommies to little girls so we have many notes to compare on the subject. Well...right before Christmas Laura told me that she had a brain tumor. I was just shaken to the core by this news. She was in the testing process to see if she would require surgery, and as things turned out she does.

Tomorrow morning Laura will be checking herself into the hospital for brain surgery. We have talked and said our "talk to you soons!" but being the person I am I could not get off of the phone without tears. They will be taking a tumor the size of a dime out of her brain, they will have to break into her skull. It still just shakes me to the core. Laura has a little girl who just turned 3. When Laura told me about the tumor she told me that she would not do anything until after her daughter turned 3, she wanted to see her turn 3.

So please, take a minute for Laura and send her good thoughts.

Ignite the new Amway?

2007-03-28T13:51:00.000-07:00

OK, when I was in college in at U of Missouri-Columbia, I worked in child care for 4 years. Thus putting me around a lot of women who were always trying ways to make a million without really having to work. You know the American Dream. So I was privy to the Rainbow Vacuum Cleaner sales pitch. Which if these people "really" knew me they would know 1) I hate to clean 2) I am in college and I don't have $ 1500.00 for a freaking vacuum, and 3) $ 1500.00?!! Needless to say I was subject to the "you can sell this too and make a million." Thank God I did not fall prey to this crap.

So the same group of geniuses that were getting rich off of the massive vacuum sales, (ha-ha-ha! do you think they get a shirt that says my sales 'sucked' this month when they don't sell shit...$1500.00!) Anyway the same group shifts from vacuum's to "A wonderful business opportunity I would love to talk to you about." The words I began to fear. The words that spelled Amway even after you have given 2 hours of your time and they still won't tell you what this wonderful opportunity is. I could write a novel about how much I hate Amway. See, little did my friends know, was that every Tuesday night when they would have their "Rally" afterwards many of them would go together for coffee and dessert to the local Shoney's that I practically lived at. So every freaking Tuesday while at the salad bar or on the way to the bathroom I am approached by someone wanting to talk to me about a wonderful business opportunity. Yeah, right. Needless to say, I sat through a damn Amway recruitment meeting even after asking my friend "This is not Amway right?" And her response of "No, not at all!" was a freaking lie. Yeah, not an Amway fan.

SO! My point. Last Friday my oldest pug Millie has been coughing really bad recently. So on my way in to work I took her to the vet. They needed to keep her for a few hours and do some X-Rays. I called the vet around lunch time and was told I could come get her and that some meds should make her better. I run up to the vet to get her and the Dr. that was on her case asked if I would like to view the X-Rays', of course I said. So we go back and he is showing me the x-rays and we are having a pleasant conversation. Towards the end, he asks, "What do you do?" I tell him I am in the construction business and he then tells me about how he does a lot of volunteer work with the Greyhound Rescue. OK, I am thinking how nice, I know someone who has 2 rescue Greyhounds. Then he says, that he thinks he has a possible business interest for me to look into. He gives me a card that says Ignite. It has his name and contact info and a website. He tells me about a meeting they are having on Sunday about this new and exciting business that I could be a part of. On the back of the card it is already printed up so he can just write the address, date, and time of this meeting. I thank the Dr. and soon leave telling him I will see what is going on and maybe make it. Lies!! All LIES, because I am a nice person and I don't want to say No thank you!

SO on Monday in the morning I get a call from the vet. I was told the Dr. was on the phone and I thought how nice he must be calling about Millie. YEAH RIGHT! After the hello, he says, " I was calling to see why I did not see you last night at the meeting." I was shocked. I lied and told him I have a toddler, not a lie, and that my husband was busy all weekend, not a lie, and that I was on kid duty all weekend, also not a lie, and that I did not have the free time to attend. That was the lie, plus I forgot, and did not intend on going anyway. So he said he understood being a father himself and that he wanted to let me know that they were having another meeting (imagine that!) this Sunday. I told him that I was not ready to commit to it because I had no idea what my schedule for the coming weekend had. But I did tell him that I saw his website address on the card he gave me and I was going to look in to it online. He said that he would call me back on Friday to see if I had questions and ask if I was going to attend on Sunday. Geesh!!!

Now, what the fuck is Ignite? Ignite is a company who is part of the deregulation of electricity here in the state of Texas. Ignite is the marketing company for Stream Energy. Anyone can sign up with Stream Energy at any time, but if you become part of Ignite everyone that you get to change over to Ignite then their electric bill pays you. The slogan get paid when you turn on the lights. Yeah, umm, ok, well...Maybe I am just not made to be a millionaire but I just see scam on this. They have structured this whole Ignite thing not to have the pyramid effect with those being illegal and all. But to me it still sounds like one. You have to pay money to be part of the Ignite selling team, you have to bring on 3 people to sell under you and once you get 10 people you get your start up fees back. Yeah, I know I am not getting all the "technical" stuff down but this is the jist. Anyone can look at this on the Ignite site. I will not link to it though. So I have been reading about this for the past few days. I still have no good feeling about it.

Thinking that I am a good consumer, I chose to write an e-mail to a local news station thinking that maybe their is a story here for them to follow. So proud of myself, today I come across someones website selling their Ignite plan and they link a news story link from the freaking news org I e-mailed. And the freaking story was how a stay at home Mom is making money selling what everyone needs...electricity.

Yeah, I still ain't buying or going. Call me when you all are reaping your millions, I will be at work.

Stumped

2007-03-26T14:34:00.000-07:00

Just go with me on this for a minute. I have been one of those insane people caught up in all the Anna Nicole drama for a few weeks. Interest died and then she was buried (a month later!) and today they come out with the autopsy report. They ruled the death an accidental overdose. If you have a nurse in your room how exactly do you have an accidental overdose? When I read the headline and it said that there was no evidence of foul play. OK, we know that she is no rocket scientist but how can you rule it accidental if she has a nurse on her staff and she OD's? I guess if you want to get "technical" and say she was dumb as rocks and did not know that mixing pills, pain killers, sleep aids and other various medications could cause you to die, then OK lets rule her cause of death: Stupidity

A zillion things to write about, but I only have 30 seconds to do it in

2007-03-20T14:29:00.000-07:00

Now only 15 seconds. I have a million zillion things to write about, but am as usual lacking the time to do it in. Pretty much, I feel like I am failing at everything, and I am not writing this to throw my own pitty party. I just remain feeling overwhelmed with my job and all the stresses it gives me. More than I care to share here and I don't think this is the appropriate place to air out that type of laundry. But, fact is my job is beyond stressful and I have times where I tend to break under the pressure of it all. Maybe day trading is an option.

If you feel like your failing, then probably your home life is in the dumper too. Seriously, Scott does not get enough props especially from me for the shit I put him through. Pretty much I get to see about 3 hours of him each day, 1 1/2 of these hours also are with the kid around so you can see that most of that time is devoted to the kid cause you don't want to fuck them up because you have not had enough time in your life to dedicate to them so who suffers? Of course your spouse. Pretty much we talk more on the phone day to day than probably in person because Scott is great at giving me down time after we get Syd to bed. So then I am off to walk, do yoga or watch mindless tv to give myself a mental rest. No waxing poetic over musings of the day. Yes, I know we need to reconnect but I am sorry, exactly when does that fit into our schedules? Yeah right how is 2018? I think we can pencil something in.

So, Scott calls me this weekend and drops a bombshell on me. Seems a family member in our family is pregnant. A young family member that we all wished would not have taken this path in their young life but alas they have chosen to play adult games and then get the adult prizes that you win if you play these games. So, pretty much on Sunday it blew my mind. I feel sorry for the kid, angry too, but we still love them. So, I am trying to gather things up to send to the soon to be baby and new mommy. Do I approve, no but is it my place to pass judgement, no, but I will in my own mind I know. I don't really know how to deal with this, but I guess I have worked through the shock. I want to slap the crap out of the kids that have done this to their lives and tell them you have not a clue how much your life is going to change. That I at 36 still don't think I can do this job of parenthood most days. Maybe the key is to have kids when you are so young that you don't know any better and you don't stress about all the crap in life?! Maybe that is the way your supposed to do this?! Yeah, I am still working through this one.

The month of June cannot arrive fast enough. Kimmers is coming to visit in May for a family obligation but I get to reap the bennies of her and her family staying with us. As Steve would say, WOOT! Anyway, in June Kimmer's is coming back for a long weekend and we are going to have a girls weekend. And to top it all off we are going to see The Police, yeah I know you SO want to be us. Sure Sting will not be throwing his tantric knowing sweat all over me but I will be in the same building jamming to some great toons and having fun with my best friend. What more can a girl ask for?

Syd is great, well this minute she is, but in another minute she could have morphed into freak kid and be having a fit beyond belief. She is GREAT at fits, really if you need someone to train in fits I only charge $ 250.00 for the first hour and then $ 150.00 for each additional hour and it is a one hour minimum please. She is VERY independent which is GREAT, but it does not fit into my morning because really I do not have 30 freaking minutes in the morning to dedicate to potty time. Seriously this is how it goes: Mommy takes of the diaper and tells her to go potty, I have stripped her of all her clothes this way I don't have to try and do this later, see always thinking! Syd has to go and get her potty stool, (no you crazy bastard you CANNOT do it for her) and she has to open the door herself to the potty. Do not try and turn on the light for her, she must do this too. Then she has to get on the potty, yes this takes about 3 minutes of jacking around. And we sit on the potty and have to smile and be silly and tell mommy "Mommy I tee-tee!" And so Mommy says lets wipe and she has to get 5000 yards of toilet paper to wipe. I roll up what is not needed and she has to wipe and I then have clean up detail. Then we have to get off the potty and back on the stool then get off the stool and then go over to flush. And of course we flush about 7 times. And then we have to put the lid down "real soft" because I just about had a nervous breakdown every time she would drop the damn thing. So then we have to get our stool, take it to the sink, go back turn off the light and close the door to the potty. We then get on the stool get the soap and take 4 minutes to get soap out of the container mind you we have enough in our hands to wash an elephant. I have to turn on the water and we begin to rub our hands with soap. And we rub but have not put them in the water and while we are rubbing our hands together we have to make faces in the mirror at our self and shake our head back and forth. Not focusing on washing our hands. I can finally get her to wash the soap off but DO NOT GRAB THE HANDS AND PUT THEM UNDER THE WATER! I can after 5 minutes of rinsing get her hands and make sure all the soap is off. The I can give her the towel and let her dry her hands. Then I have to clean up the soap spill and bubbles that overflow from the sink from all the damn soap and water we have used for two small 2 yr old hands.

Now we can start getting dressed for school. I promise you, if you think grabbing her and doing it for her makes it faster, you do NOT have kids. So, I am going to go home now and start the morning when I get home. Hopefully by 6:45 tomorrow morning she will be done with potty time in the morning and we can start our day off nice and early.

10 inches of love

2007-03-12T15:04:00.000-07:00

Yeah get your mind out of the gutter. Thursday and Friday of last week I took off to go on a short trip with my parents and Syd to Louisiana. My Grandmother and Uncle along with his kiddos live there. It was a nice break from work and gave Scott a weekend to do boy stuff. (I.E. miss us terribly and count the seconds till we arrive home.)

Anyway, on Thursday before we left for our road trip I took the morning for a little 'me' time. I went to Starbucks and sat in the big comfy chair and drank my coffee and read the paper from front to back and lounged around thinking, boy this is great. And during this time I also answered 5 work e-mails and spent 25 min on the phone taking care of issues with work. But well I was not in the office!!! I left Starbucks and was on my way to Kroger to get some trashy magazines to read on the trip and was stopped by a sign on a window that says "Locks of Love." Mind you it is not even 9 am when the Fantastic Sam's opens but the two hairstylist come walking from Starbucks and tell me I can come right in. I am still debating but they ask, are you wanting to donate your hair. I had been thinking about it for some months and decided yes I did. So 10" of my hair was cut off and is now being sent to make a wig for someone that is being treated for Cancer. I did this for 2 reasons, one it is Lent and I believe that I should sacrifice something during Lent. It is just the way I believe. And second, my Grandmother that we were going to see has just finished her chemo treatment for breast cancer and her hair is just about 1/2 inch longer than Scott's shaved head. So, I felt it was a minor sacrifice for me in relation to the people I love and worship in regards to what they have done for me in my life.

Fantastic Sam's may not be the high dollar hair cutting place around but I have to say the kindness of the ladies that were working that day and the pure joy they got out of my donation made it a great experience and my new hairstyle looks great. I think it is one of the best cuts I have had in years.

Disgust beyond words

2007-03-05T10:01:00.000-08:00

OK, today is a really shitty fucking day. But out of all the damn drama and usual crap that I deal with at work day in and day out, I think this is the main reason for all of my anger. I am so upset, angry, and just not amazed but freaked out. I am not one to sit in my cloud of everything is wonderful in the world and I know shitty stuff happens, but this is really bothering me. I really think the boys that did this should have the shit beat out of them daily. I just am beyond sensible words on this matter.

WTF!!!!!!

SAHM = DRAMA...out of no where!

2007-03-02T08:28:00.000-08:00

Please allow me some time to explain. I live in a neighborhood that has a high number of SAHM (stay at home moms). I admire and am envious (at times) of these women. But recently, I want to smack the fuck out of them and ask them if their lives are so empty to cause so much drama then maybe they should consider the following options:

Coloring...it is relaxing and I am sure that they have plenty of crayons and coloring books of their children's that they can borrow. Maybe with their pent up anger they could be the next VanGough.
Volunteer work. If you have enough energy to cause drama then you could do mass mailing for the American Cancer Society or do hospice visits. Get out of your humdrum life and do some good.
Read your Bible. If you claim to live the Word, then maybe during nap time for the kiddos you should read some passages that talk about loving your neighbor.
Watch other children in the neighborhood. Nothing causes a distraction better than more kids.
Have another kid, see above.
Mow lawns. The neighborhood grass is starting to come in again, so get with one of your SAHM buddies and switch off. One mow and one watch kids.
Get a job. Nothing makes you find less time to cause problems and be petty than having a job and working in the REAL world.

Now please do not get me wrong. I really wish that financially I too could be a SAHM, but well that is not in the cards that I pulled from the deck of life. I really admire women who can stay at home and raise their children in some aspects they are better than me because I know I am a better Mom because I don't see Syd 24-7.

BUT...the problem I do have with this bunch in my neighborhood is that they create a lot of unneeded drama for those of us who work. All of a sudden it seems that it is the SAHM against the working mom. It seems that if you can talk about people and be nasty to people because you have had nothing better to do with your day than to sit and chat with one another about how evil the rest of us in the neighborhood are. You would not assume that YOU might be the problem? Probably not.

My issue is that I have a TON of other meaningful things to do with my time than to waste it on your pettiness. If your life is so empty and unfulfilled that you have to start attacking others, see the list above or make one of your own. Get a goal and get a life.

Peace out!

T-minus 3 hours

2007-02-22T14:50:00.000-08:00

Till Grey's Anatomy thriller of a three part series ends. Yeah, get over it, I am so hooked to this show. I seriously have not had it this bad for a show in a LONG time. Each twist and turn has me biting my nails like the girl I am. All you Men that bash I don't want to hear it. I have taken part in enough super bowl parties and hockey play off games and world series to have my one vice. The kicker is that a sports season is way longer than a seasons worth of a tv show. And for the love of GOD the hockey play off season goes from December to August...well it seems that way at least.

So is Mer dead? We saw pink mist last week and I know Denny is there. What will this meeting mean? God the suspense can't you feel it?! Yeah I know, I cannot wait too!

Some freaky shit

2007-02-20T09:18:00.000-08:00

Today I feel better, if you care but I do. Since I am feeling so much better I can now express what my thoughts were as I was suffering. Sunday I was laying in bed and for some strange reason I had this feeling like I was dying. I know Scott is going to be pissed because I did not tell him about this but I just had this strange feeling. It was crazy maybe it was just the pain in my head making me go crazy. Yesterday I could not take it anymore so I left work early and came home to take one of Scott's hydrocodine I did not have a clue what else to do. In 15 minutes after taking it the pain was gone. I felt so much better. Then about 45 minutes later I threw up. I was thirsty and drank a bit or water and then threw up, needless to say I was timid to eat or drink for the remainder of the night. I told Scott I had the flu, but truthfully I have no clue what I had.

Today I feel a billion times better, I was still a little sick to my stomach this morning but as the day goes on I feel better and better.

It freaked my shit out, so I am going to the Dr today for him to tell me either I am crazy or yes you had a migraine. I have no clue what else it could be. I am just glad that it is over. Needless to say due to my not feeling so well the past two days Scott has been on Sydney duty. Syd will come in and say "Mommy no feel good." And I would tell her yes I did not feel very well but I was OK. She was right next to me while I puked in the kitchen sink and that kind of freaked her out. What a family portrait that is! Husband holding hair back, Mommy puking, Syd looking freaked out!! We have fun at our house!

The headache that just keeps on giving

2007-02-19T11:09:00.000-08:00

Right now for the past almost 48 hours I have been suffering with a headache. Nothing will touch it, nothing that I have will touch it. I was in bed yesterday all day in pain and slept that was the only thing that did not cause pain, when I could sleep. And today I have gone the whole day drank coffee, taken beyond enough tylenol and it still hurts beyond belief. It feels like my neck has been compressed into my spine that someone needs to pull my head off of my neck. Maybe I have strained my neck but whatever it is it fucking hurts. So bad that when I eat I feel like I am going to be sick. Such a fun way to spend a Sunday and your Monday at work. Fun, fun fun!

Gone for a few days and everything changes!

2007-02-15T13:40:00.000-08:00

Gee I make time to blog and I have to change over to some damn beta version or something and I have not a freaking clue how to work around it. So here I am posting in Beta if anyone gives a shit. WTF it is a freaking blog! Great now Google has some sort of something to do with this thing.

Well since my last post Syd turned 2 and we had us quite a HUGE party. Over 60 yes 60 freaking people for a 2 yr olds birthday party. Really at this rate by 21 she will be giving the Oscar guest list a run for their money. It was a great party though and the petting zoo that my husband was giving me such grief about was a huge hit. Syd refused to come into the house to cut and eat cake because she wanted to stay in the petting zoo. She spent every minute of the 60 we had with the animals. That in it self was worth it for me. Then as the loaded up the animals she told each one of them good-bye. Hillarious I tell you!

I am proclaiming right now and let me be the first to put this out there: My husband is NOT the father of Anna Nicole's Baby. I know it is probably a really bad joke but seeing how each day there is someone else that is jumping on the baby train I just wanted to instate a new trend. I did hear a guy on the radio last week state that Bobby Trendy (if you watched the Anna Nicole show this is funny) has not proclaimed that he is the father, he is like the only one! This whole issue is getting to be the Train Wreck of 2007. And I have to admit I have been right there reading all the new gossip when it comes out. I do have to say that I think Entertainment Tonight has pretty much lost all their entertainment cred that I ever gave them with the "exclusive coverage" they have bought. I can remember when this show really did give some interesting showbiz news. Now it just seems like it is a mag rag that airs every evening after the news.

Let's see, what else?? Work sucks, stress is at an all time high but it seems that each week it gets more and more stressful. Panic attacks are about the same. Medco drug perscription plan sucks balls, still. Like they did not screw us enough in 2006 that they had to raise the prices for medication in 2007. For medications that other plans consider generic they consider brand name, yeah thanks for the reaming up the ass.

Yeah, still bitter about that....

Got a new car, love it, hate the payment, but now I have a warranty, again.

Husband rocks, Valentine's Day is a NORMAL day in our house, as it should be. I think when I was married the first time I made a huge deal out of it BECAUSE it was the only day that I MIGHT get flowers. And considering how much they charge for the damn things I am so PLEASED with the fact that Scott will NOT pay for them at the outrageous price they charge for them during the month of February. We are however going out on Friday and having Sushi with the gift certificate that my BFF Kim gave us for Christmas.

Speaking of BFF, damn I know I say it over and over and I am sure some of you are tired of it, but I am so damn lucky. When I am down she knows the exact thing to say and can make me feel better just by making sure I am ok. I never have to feel guilty about feeling bad if that makes sense. I can just be me the depressed person I can be at times and she loves me no matter what. I cannot believe that I have found a friend that allows me to be down and up and loves me no matter what. Besides Scott I know that if someone could take my lifes burdens she would without question and with a smile.

And another thing to be so thankful for! My neighbors ROCK. I have three neighbors that live right in our house radius and they rock. We have a section of the 99 homes in our subdivision that we shun, well because they are the stay at home Moms that make us working Mothers feel like shit because we have to work to live where we live and to well...EAT. Now don't get me wrong if I could be a SAHM and live and have what we have I would, but well I live in reality and I have to work for housing, food and education for my child. But well the other end of the block we have one neighbor that well, we call her JC or Jesus Christ, because she is the be all and end all of the neighborhood. Ask her she will tell you. And the more social events we have in the neighborhood just instills my knowledge that my block rocks and everyone wishes they lived on it. Yeah, got drunk at Bunco last month and well, I know how to party. Can't wait for Bunco tonight, they are having Margarita's!!!!!!!

This blogging today makes me feel much better about things. Maybe it is what my day has been missing. Blogging does a body good.

There is 40 minutes I will NEVER get back

2007-01-24T14:17:00.000-08:00

It took 40 yes I said 40 minutes for the damn electric company website to load and allow me to pay our electric bill. The fucker is due on Friday and I know I could have sent a check earlier once I got the bill, but let me inform you of something, I pay most of the bills online, but guess what happens when the company you are paying does not have a user profile where you can store account information, this leads to me miskeying a digit on either the routing or bank account number and this then locks your account from being able to be paid with a check of any kind on your account. Cashiers check is the execption. So now that I am on the blackballed list for 6 months because I miskeyed a digit I have to pay via credit card which is the same damn account that the fucking checks are coming out of. The whole thing is just plain stupid. 40 fucking minutes gone...page loads are at a record 5 minutes...you would think an electric company would have the most up to speed stuff, maybe they are powering it with their overpowered electricty and they had to cut back because it costs so freaking much.........

My head has been hurting all day, now it is ready to explode.....

Other things I have learned in the past few weeks:

Speeding ticket in Arlington 83 in a 60 costs $ 208.00, thanks to my Husband

you think that is bad get a load of this...

Employee at my job gets ticket in the City of Coppell in a work vehicle, one safety chain on the trailer they are towing is broke, ticket cost $ 218.00....you have got to be fucking kidding me.

Texas Department of Public Safety ticket for defective turn signal cost $ 144.00.

Lesson learned, avoid City of Coppell like the freaking plague, oh and if you call them to discuss the ticket as the owner and employer of the truck and driver you have no rights at all. If you go in front of a judge you still have to pay the ticket and then court costs. I think the City of Coppell sucks balls.

These statements in no way excuse 83 in a 60 on the way to a hockey game where the Dallas Stars "played" hockey. Played is still being debated, more like they put on ice skates and spun around doing double axles and triple toe loops. I don't claim to know much about hockey but I can attest to the fact that this was the worst game I had ever seen in my life....it was 3 weeks ago now and the horrid memory is still haunting me.

Conspiracy

2007-01-22T10:05:00.000-08:00

Each month I receive an e-mailed love note from our electric company. Due to the blessing...(fucking) of deregulation, to help consumers cut costs......

HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

Pardon me from my brief hysterical laughter... anyway, yeah deregulation and I can buy my electric from another company for a lower price. OK yeah whatever, seeing the screwing we get each month if I was saving money it needs to bitch slap me across the face, because I ain't seeing it...
ANYWAY, my point of this rant, I get the damn e-bill and log on to pay it. Well TRY to log on, the first time this happened I just dismissed it, well the past 6 months yes 6 months every time I TRY to log in to pay online it locks up. No it is not the computer, I try from home and work and each time the fucker locks up. If you call the customer support line, I swear you get people that have no fucking clue what they are answering the phone for. I would be willing to bet that they are at home employee's taking online orders for 1-800 flowers and customer service for the freaking electric provider....my point they are clueless as fucks too. So basically this freaking company that we are signed up with, they fucking suck. Start trying to pay your bill the day it is e-mailed to you, it is going to take 18 tries to get to the section of the website that lets you pay bill online. I have tried 3 freaking times today and I cannot get past the fucking log on screen. I swear to God, each freaking month?! I hate electric companies...I really do. They should call it deep-fuck-you-lation. Because that is what they do to you each month and charge me on top of that.

I think I might be a bit bitter about this issue....

On to other topics....

My Daughter loves her some Chuck, as in Chucky Cheese. She went to her first birthday party for a friend of hers this weekend. I was not able to escort her to this event...thank goodness but Daddy did quite well. I was surprised beyond belief that she was not scared shitless of Chuck, she is not fond at all of Santa, but loves her some Chuck...

My Grandfather has made it here safely. Syd has had a lot of time with her Great-Grandfather. I thought Grandparents were bad, great grand parents are worse! Friday night we had him over to dinner while my parents went to a meeting, Syd had just met my Grandfather for the first time the night before so we were still warming up to him. By the time we ate dinner she was in rare show off form for him. Mind you we do not condone this behavior but she is in a stage of throwing food. She in turn threw 3 endamame beans down to him at the other end of the table. His response, "Lets have a food fight!" Oh, hell no! I just looked at him and wondered at what point in life do you encourage your grand children and great grand children to throw food?! It was just crazy. But funny too.

The moment that will stay with me forever was yesterday. When I was little I "invented" a hello and goodbye present. I have no clue what made me think of this but one visit to my Grandparents house I looked at them and asked where my hello present was. Well from that point on it has been a staple of our relationship, and my cousins should thank me for this, seeing how I laid the groundwork for them on this! Anyway, my Grandfather loves Butter Rum lifesavers. I would always bring him a few rolls as a hello present when we came to visit. Well, my though was if I could find some I would give them to Syd to give to him when she met him. OK, do you know how freaking hard it is to find these fuckers now? On Saturday, yes Saturday, three days later, I happened to find a Lifesaver Valentine book that has the multiple packs of lifesavers in it. Out of the 8 rolls in the box I got ONE roll of butter rum. 5 were assorted fruit flavors and two were wild cherry...gee, no peppermint or wint-O-green?! So yesterday after breakfast I had Syd take them over to my Grandfather. The look on his face when she gave them to him was priceless. It will truly be something I will carry with me forever. He looked at them and asked where did you find these? Needless to say he opened them and shared them with Syd and she loved them. He has her saying Rum and Butters, I am sure this term will make people take a double take when she states it in public. But the moment was wonderful. I know it sounds silly to others but it was a passing of the torch of sorts. I just am so glad that they both got to do it.

Yadda Yadda Yadda

2007-01-16T18:27:00.000-08:00

Yes still alive and kicking, the New Year is well into it's 16th day and I still feel like I am running in circles. Let's see all the thing the first 16 days of the New Year has provided:

Funeral...check
Potty training....check
Bad weather, i.e. ice...check
No sleep...check
Stress and regular daily concerns....check check and check!

So the new year blows in and a friend of mine, her Mother passed away on New Year's Eve. In regards to my friend a former co-worker I went to the services. Not prepared for the visitation and for some reason thinking that she was cremated, and walk in and their she is in her casket. So not ready for that, remember this will be my 2nd in my lifetime funeral. The whole gravesite service did not click the dim light in my mind to make the realize that there would not be cremation. Duh!

Syd has moved into the next classroom at her school. She is in early pre-school now. And the transition has been non-existent, meaning she has not had any transition issues at all. Mommy as usual cried as she has moved up again. Almost 2 and it is killing me each day that passes she moves past being my little baby. Talk about ripping your heart out of your chest.

Ice, ice baby. Yeah we had ice, it sucked, we stayed home and it is still ungodly cold and I HATE it. So freaking cold outside. There is a good reason why I live in the South and this is not it.

Work, stress, life, stress pretty much all of that is the same ol shit.

My Grandfather that has yet to meet Syd is about 10 hours away from us now. Hopefully in the next two days or so he will arrive. I have not seen him since about this time two years ago, at the time I was very pregnant and just ready for the new baby bliss. Soon to be hit with the new baby what the fuck am I supposed to do with this now syndrome. In fact Syd has a another cold with the whole booger parade and even her Dr today stated that she cannot believe how fast she is growing. Yeah, I heard a baby in the other exam room crying and it did seem like yesterday. But I think last year I was saying the same damn stuff. So fast forward 18 years and I will probably be saying the same stuff over and over. I don't think it will ever get easer I think each year is harder.

But, we get a petting zoo for a birthday party this year....so much more fun than last year!!!!!!

This still does not make it better for Mommy....

Gone like a flash

2006-12-27T14:38:00.000-08:00

The past week has flown past in record speed. Last week at this time I was a bundle of excitement. Kim and Her family flew in on Friday, from the moment I got up on Friday I was crying, so excited and the evening before because of the massive snowstorm in the west we were sweating that they would make it. For some reason when things were getting really iffy I stayed calm, not my normal manner and everything worked out fine. It was a quick trip for them they had to go back on Christmas Day. I was thankful for each moment I had with Kim. It truly was the best thing I have ever gotten. After they left our house that morning, Scott and I went and got Syd up for her to see what "Santa" had brought. Needless to say since we had been up till 3 AM! we were tired. Syd ran from each toy to the next, and after my parents got there that morning we all spent HOURS unwrapping presents. Way beyond spoiled, all of us! Now when I have to get Syd up in the morning for school she wants to play basketball and her piano and all the other fun things she got, not wanting to go to school. Makes it a bit hard to get her ready and to explain that she will have to do it when she gets home.

I still am just amazed at how fast the time has flown by. I know tomorrow it will be Christmas Eve again and I will be saying the same thing a year later. It just goes that fast. Hurry buy your fireworks soon, 4th of July is just in a few days!

So a lady farts on a plane....

2006-12-08T21:53:00.000-08:00

God that news story really had me laughing. I just cannot believe that she would choose to call attention to herself by LIGHTING MATCHES! I have also heard that you can bring up to 8 packs of matches on a plane. Now to me this is just plane stupid, pun intended. I do understand the intentions behind the liquid on the plane an as time passes people seem to forget the reasons why we have these new rules and regs. BUT wouldn't you think that matches would be one of those no-no items? Maybe they are and I am talking out of my ass, but not farting. See blogging after a full day of work and at midnight produces some pretty good humor, don't you think?!

Tomorrow night, well tonight.. I am having my office employee's over for a Christmas party. We do not have a formal gathering so I figured grilling steaks out and playing some funny holiday games might be fun. I must be getting to be a dork because I am quite excited about it, or my life has just gotten so boring that stamp collecting could now be a rockin Friday night?!

No post is a good post?

2006-12-04T09:34:00.000-08:00

I know I am lacking in my ability to post regularly but hell I am really slacking here lately. Well, Thanksgiving was gone like a flash. The brined turkey was, how do you say....INFUCKINGCREDIBLE! I tell you, I really have never had turkey that I would eat the white meat, I hate dry white meat turkey. But seriously it was so moist. I could not tell the difference between the white meat and the dark meat. Plus it cooked so fast, I said we would eat at 2PM and damn-it the food was on the table at 2PM. I swear I still don't know how I pulled that one off.

Things are in full Christmas swing here at our house. I am biding my time until the 22nd when Santa comes early to my house. My Best Friend Kim and her Family are flying in to spend Christmas with Her In-Laws and I get the wonderful blessing of having them stay with us. I have not posted about this at all simply because my emotions on the matter can become close to hysterical. You would think at the ripe age of 36 I would have them in check. But it seems as life offers bumps in the road when something so wonderful comes your way, it is hard for me to remain calm and not crying tears of joy and excitement.

Syd is enjoying everything that this season has to offer. When you ask her about Santa she says "Brings Toys!!" I know that she should have more of an idea of what Christmas is really about and I am trying to tell her about the true meaning of Christmas. But really right now it is so much fun to see her excited. Daddy posted this on his blog but I just think it is too cute not to share....
We were trying to get a nice photo of the two of us..I title this one your Holiday Ham. Doesn't she just exude holiday peace and good will towards men?

Wood Chips, Band Aids and Car Seats

2006-11-22T14:13:00.000-08:00

Funky title hun? I have to write about this, it is one of those Kid moments that you will soon forget and it is worth such a laugh. Well, at least to me. Seems at Syd's school the playground they play on has wood chips all over it. I guess while playing a straggler wood chip would end up in a diaper. So now, my little OCD baby in traning insists that she has wood chips in her diaper, all the freaking time. She will sit at the dinner table and tell you Wood Chip! Wood Chip! And try to lift her leg to look at her diaper. She even has my Mom looking for a stray wood chip that might have been stuck to her butt all weekend and dislodged on a Sunday and now itched her ass. So, to appease miss OCD we have to take off the diaper and tell her we found a wood chip and put the diaper back on. And then she starts it all over again. SO then you have to tell her that we took the wood chip out and she is fine now.

I really find it hard to believe that with all of the binding on the diapers that a wood chip would make it into the diaper. I can see a child putting a wood chip in their diaper or, a child picking one up and putting it in the back of a fellow classmates diaper therefore causing the whole mass hysteria of Wood Chip in Diaper trauma.

I really think she might be OCD, she skinned her knee yesterday, so she got a band aid. They gave her two at school, one for the other knee too because she needed to have the other side the same as the first side.

And how EXACTLY do you get a kid strapped into the car seat when they just don't want to be in the car seat. I had my first, I want to beat the hell out of you moment today. For some wonderful reason Syd decided she did not want to sit in her car seat this morning so we could leave. She would pitch a holy fit and arch her back. I keep asking her if she wants to go to school and see her friends, she says yes. I then tell her she has to sit in her car seat and get bucked in. She tells me no. I ask if she wants to go do tumble bus, an activity that she does on Wednesday at school. She says yes, I tell her she has to sit in the car seat so we can leave and she tells me no. I ask if she wants to stay home in the garage all day since she does not want to sit in her seat. She say no, logic would tell you my 21 month old YOU HAVE TO SIT IN THE CAR SEAT!

Mind you I am one of those people that said, my child will never dictate what we do and do not do. HA! That is a myth people. You cannot MAKE a 21 month old do anything if they do not want to. It is a mind game, we are smarter but, they do not know this, and they try to wait us out. Testing to see if they will eventually get their way. I tried wrestling her into the seat. I got the top part clasped, but her head was in the seat portion of the car seat. THINKING that I could wrestle her in place to buckle her into the remainder of the seat she begins to twist. Yes, twist her body around. So, I realize this is not going to work either. So, I take her out of the car seat, and tell her I am leaving. I get in the car and shut the door. And she freaks. It works, I did not start the car, I did not drive away, I just left her outside the car. I got out, asked if she was ready to go with me, she said yes and we got bucked in. 15 freaking minutes I lost. And during the wrestling match, she is fucking laughing. I really REALLY wanted to pop her on the butt. But I rationalized myself out of it saying I would be spanking her only out of my own frustration with the matter. So scaring the shit out of her, that is fine! Yeah, I was tearing myself apart on the way to work. Thinking, how could I have handled this better. I am still at a loss. But she got in the car seat....so.....I WIN!

I love her, I really and truly do. But DAMN IT!! Today was the worst morning ever. When we did get into the car seat, I told her that mommy was not happy with her. She looked at me and said "Mommy Sick." Yeah, that little gem was from last night when she asked what my medicine was for and I told her Mommy was sick. I guess that is her way of telling me, No, your not mad, your just sick.

Needless to say, I have decided that I am going to serve Syd turkey stuffed with wood chips, and two band aids. She will be required to sit in her car seat at the table. Seeing how sick I am, it only seems like the right thing to do.

Gobble Gobble!

Is it vacation yet?!

2006-11-20T13:45:00.000-08:00

Today is Monday and I am so ready for it to be Wednesday. I am ready for the house smelling of turkey, greenbean casserole, and pie. I am ready to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. For some reason I am so in love with this parade. I think it goes back to when I was little and I remember watching it with my Dad. Every Thanksgiving still my Dad will ask if I watched the parade. Yes, I did and I loved every minute of it. I think this year Syd will get a huge kick out of it. Even if she doesn't I still will. So, with all this activity work is just not fitting into my schedual. I want to be home, prepping for the big day. Getting my oven fired up, mixing and blending. I am ready.

Last night while I was watching TV I told Scott I should have just taken the whole week off. Of course this brainstorm hits and it is too late to do so. Plus on Wednesday I am hoping to send my office staff home as soon as they are done with their work. I figure I can hold things down until 5. You can tell things are slowly shutting down, the phone is quite and most people are already out for the week. Pretty much from this point till the 2nd week of January most construction offices will be running with not many employee's.

New things this week Sydney has graced our house with:

When asking her what she would like to have for dinner she has stated: "Chocolate Cake!" and then she told my Mother last week that she wanted "Pizza Pie!" for dinner. Where the hell she got chocolate cake, I have no clue, but we like the way that she is thinking!

No running in our house. If you run Baby Hitler will tell you "No running Mommy, use walky feet." Walky feet?! yeah that is what I said too. She yelled at the little boys at the breakfast place we were at yesterday that were running. "No running boys! Walky feet!"

Yesterday it was National No Pants Day. Sydney decided that she did not want to wear pants. Thank goodness this was after we were home from breakfast. You know, you really have to pick your battles and this one, she was allowed to win. What the hell, so she ran around in a shirt and a diaper until my parents came over. Then she wanted to go outside, so we were able to bribe her into wearing pants. All day long it was "No pants" when you asked if she would like to wear them.

If you lay down on the couch, she will come over look into your face and say "Wake up Mommy" Scott informs me she does this a lot. I have not layed down on the couch for months until last week, and then I got the wake up Mommy.

When did 21 month olds get so damn bossy?

2006-11-17T08:22:00.000-08:00

Adam Sandler - Thanks giving song

Just getting into the mood

To brine or not to brine, this is the question...

2006-11-16T14:12:00.000-08:00

OK, this year, my first official I am cooking for Thanksgiving. I am taking that leap into adulthood, making the meal, at my house, for my family. How much more Hallmarkian can you get? So, the whole debate do you stuff or not stuff the bird. I am a 36 year old woman who has eaten stuffing out of a cooked turkey every year of my life and have not once contracted food poisoning from such practice. But....there is this new word that is sweeping the food channel vocabulary and it is Brine. Some people worship sports figures, rock singers, tv celebrities, me...I am a Rachel Ray Lover, Paula Dean Praiser, Alton Brown Brownnoser, and Julia, sweet Julia, she IS my Oprah.

So Alton Brown is touting the greatness of brine for the bird. And this being my first bird, I am thinking, shake it up a bit, try something new for the whole family. Just take the leap. So, I am seriously considering brining the bird. Yeah, this is what my day has consisted of me contemplating. Really, this is enjoyment for me, it is nice to be able to take a mental break from the crap that has been on my mind this week. And allowing myself some fun mind time in planning my menu and what I need to buy and serve. Yeah, I am a nerd. Pretty soon my Husbands ability to draft for fantasy sports teams will have me drafting my fantasy turkey dinner with my side items and if I win I will get to buy the butterball bird, the king of the bird birds.

So, I think I am taking the leap and going to brine the bird. Now, I gotta get my brine supplies and a huge bucket to brine the bird in. Plus all the other million other things for the meal of all meals. If it looks good enough, I might even take a photo of it.

Feel free to steal this and pass it along

2006-11-15T08:24:00.000-08:00

Like so many other things, I was just sent this link. Come on people, pass this along. Pass along a little Thanks to the people that are doing a job I could never do. And to those of you who have I say Thank You.

http://www.letssaythanks.com/Home1024.html

And way to go Xerox.

Just in

2006-11-08T14:56:00.000-08:00

One of the guys I work with just sent me this. Why WHY oh WHY do I know that these are the questions my husband is asking if he is lucky enough to make it to the pearly gates in Heaven????

If you click the link, make sure your sound is up. It is pretty fucking funny.

The face of evil

2006-11-03T10:13:00.000-08:00

He took a plea bargin. I so wish he would fry like the person he helped.

Kicking myself in the ass

2006-11-03T00:52:00.000-08:00

Ever made a mistake that cost you some money that if you had paid attention it would not have even been an issue? When it comes to $$ I am pretty on top of things to prevent over spending. Well not this time, and I am still mad at myself. See, I thought I had one more pharmacy refill on a maintenance drug, but I thought wrong. I used the last one last month, 30 days ago.

So therefore, on our insurance if you have a maintenance drug you HAVE to do mail order or pay FULL PRICE at the local pharmacy, they will NOT give you any other refill for the co-pay price. So, I am screwed. I called the Dr. hoping that they had samples, but no dice this is not a common prescribed medication. The pharmacist called the insurance company to see if they would give me 2 weeks worth at a cut rate until I could mail my mail order script, THAT I HAVE BEEN CARRYING AROUND SINCE OCTOBER 12TH, was filled. Their answer...NO! And when I called them yesterday to inquire myself to see if there was some sort of help for me, they said you will have to pay full price. I said OK and the woman says to me, "Would you like to speak to a Dr. or Pharmacist?" I asked her why would I want to do that? Her answer was: "So you can find out what will happen if you stop taking the medication." I told her I knew good and well what would happen to me if I stopped. I guess this is the way Medco prevents them from liability if I go postal because I don't have my sanity medication. Yeah, thanks, I know my head is fucked not to mention the utter hell you go through when you stop the meds cold turkey. Been there done that and I have no urge to go back into the black hole. Plus this is the medication that can give you the fatal rash if you start out on too strong of a dose when you start the medication. So stopping at 200 MG's and then starting right back at that level whenever the drug fairy comes to visit could really kill me. Yeah thanks I KNOW!

So, the pharmacist called me back and told me that I would have to pay full price. My Dr.'s office and I were talking back and forth yesterday trying to figure something out. Mind you the last phone conversation I had with them they told me, "Tawny you cannot stop taking these meds." I ran to the office and they faxed over a prescription that should speed the process, but it is a new medication for the mail order system and that always takes longer. So, last night I went to Wal-Mart to get some of the refill I have there to hold me over until HOPEFULLY the medication is at my doorstep. I figured I will get three pills, I get paid tomorrow and this will get me through the weekend. Three pills $ 21.00 and change. This makes them over $ 7.00/pill. Mind you I knew that 14 pills were $ 76.00 and change, making them just over $ 5.00 per pill. No, no that is not the way it works, buy more get it for less. So, I spent over $ 76.00 for 14 fucking pills. I paid $ 26 and change over what by mail order would give me for 90 days. $ 50.00 gives me 90 days, $ 76 and change gives me 14 pills when I don't have any local pharmacy refills left. But, they don't MAKE you use the mail order. How really do they NOT make you? I do like mail order ONCE IT IS SET UP. But getting new medications is a real bitch, they take forever. I so hope that someone starts making a generic of my medication and Wal-Mart has it on their $4.00 plan. I so want to flip Medco off.

But it really is MY FAULT not theirs, I fucking forgot or did not pay attention. And yes, I am still pissed.

Booed twice

2006-10-29T18:59:00.000-08:00

So, in our new neighborhood the booing has begun. This is where you buy candy and goodies and put it in a Halloween bag and leave it on your fellow neighbors doorstep. We were booed last weekend and I finally booed the two people I was to do as passing it forward. This morning Scott comes in and tells me, we were booed again. The funniest thing of it all, we have a sign in our window that says we have been booed and the stuff that I printed off with my booed pass along bags, made it right back to my house. The stuff I printed up and everything...not the candy or the bag though, my artwork and my instructions...very funny. We are so damn cool we were booed twice.

So, well, whatelse? Scott and I had our weekend away from the kiddo. It was good, got some good Christmas shopping done and it was just nice to be he and I again. I did feel like a piece of my heart was missing though. Scott's Mom has been in town to see us and the new house. She leaves tomorrow and it has been a very quick visit. It breaks my heart to have to see her tell Sydney goodbye. I wish I could make the miles between upstate NY and Texas decrease, so seeing one another was only a twice a year thing. It has been nice to have her hear, she is a great person to talk to and to hear Syd say Ganma is too cute. Thanks to her Sydney will be a cowgirl this year for Halloween. The pink cowboy boots have become a staple in this house and seeing how she is funny about somethings she wears, I do not see the costume thing working this year. This works best for everyone involved. And keeps Mommy sane and really that is the MOST important thing in the whole picture.

I have slaved myself even more to my job. I have been blackberried. It well, it is nice to be out of the office and still be able to conduct business via e-mail, but Friday when I took off early to spend time with my MIL and Scott, e-mailing in JC Penney's can get a bit old fast. It is a good thing though...I think?

Well, end of another weekend. Before you know it, we will be carving turkey and the carols will be playing all over the freaking place. I think Wal-Mart will be putting out the Valentine candy tomorrow since Halloween is in two days...seems right don't you think?

Well, well again...and the Man wears PANTIES

2006-10-18T19:14:00.000-07:00

Some could say it would jinx me to say that we are all well in this house now. Yeah, last week I just could not stand it anymore and I had to reduce myself to outside medical help. Seems that all the medication that we had called in would not do the trick that one shot in the ass could. Steroid and antibiotics followed up with some massive antihistamine to dry up all the crap that was overflowing from my nose. Yeah pretty picture huh?

So, well house of three what next. Scott and I will be taking our first trip away from the Sydney this weekend. Yes, please pass the trophy for worst Mom in the world right on over. I know she will have a blast and probably never even know we were gone nor care, because the world revolves around Pop-Pop and Gan-Gan as she calls my Mom. Yeah, she has not opted when they are around to chanting No-No Momma No-No Daddy. Daddy and Pop-Pop went to pick her up from Daycare last week and she cried when she saw Scott, she only wanted Pop-Pop. Kinda hits you right in that soft spot huh? And Poor Scott if she is made to chose between the two of us, well according to her status he can go sit next to the "BIG POOP" as she likes to say in the back yard that the dogs have left. Yeah, she can really kick her Daddy in the crotch. Looks like a Tawny in the making.

UPDATE: Last week, finally my brainwashing has taken hold. Scott and I were folding laundry and I was folding his boxers. He stated give me those panties, yes speaking of his boxers. I think this comes from my continual programming of Syd to say Daddies Panties. Ahh, it was pure joy and fucking funny as hell. Yeah, I pull that one out here and there just to see him cringe again and again. It really never gets old.

Lets see, what else to tell...Besides the fact that I am finally feeling like my old self again, nothing much else to share.

Syd is amazing and so damn smart. She is now signing all of her colors and counts to 10. Mind you the numbers 3 & 4 are very over rated. So much so that we count 1, 2, 5,6,7,8,9,10, and you have to say TEN and then clap. We clap a lot in this house. About the smallest thing and the biggest, like when Daddy scooped the poop in the back yard. BIG POOP, yeah she is hilarious. Why are kids so fascinated about poop?

Tonight she was singing "I hungry" over and over at the table and dancing in her chair. Yeah, it was great.

And we also have the tantrums, but I am feeling good and I don't want to focus on that right now.

OK weekend without the kid. I do not remember my life before that. Did I HAVE a life before Motherhood?

Nope, I say not.

Saturday @ 5 AM

2006-10-09T12:22:00.000-07:00

Yeah, that was the time I finally made it to sleep from Friday night. After my hour long blog post and some blog reading, I crawled back in bed for the 2nd time that evening after getting more international foods vanilla creme drink, (this shit is good! No coffee in it if you are not a coffee fan, like a white hot chocolate drink) Anyway, crawl back in bed, turn on the tv again, watch more, cough and cough and cough more. Get up take more cough meds. Have ANOTHER cough drop. Lay down again, no sleep. Panic starts to set in. Go into the living room and watch 2 hours of Tivo I have missed, plus some other dumb stuff that was on. Decide this is insane and take a Xanax because the anxiety of not sleeping is making me crazy. Last time I looked at the clock it was 5 am on Saturday morning. Woke at 9 am and felt like shit. Nevermind sleeping on the couch is not what it used to be cracked up to be.

Another bonus of Saturday, I lost my voice. Woke up and nothing came out. Told Scott if I had to yell for Syd that day we were out of luck because nothing was coming out of me. It was back on Sunday. But I have this very hoarse raspy voice and today it sounds like I am losing it again. Scott has hit the wall with this virus crap. Today it hit him hard like I told him it would. At least today will be the worst and he should start to feel somewhat better by late tomorrow.

Oh yeah, I have the pink eye now too.

Our house should be condemned.

Can you hear the crickets?

2006-10-06T22:07:00.000-07:00

Because I have been gone from blogger for so long? Wow, how time gets away from you. And so much and yet so little have happened. I guess it depends on who you ask and how involved they are in the whole realm of things. Let's see where to start...

Last week, Syd had pink eye, which appeared on Sunday. Usually in the past I have been so on my A-game that I would have known this right off the bat. Well, after a day of saying. "boy her eye looks all red and puffy." You would think I would clue in, this is not my first pink eye attack. Needless to say at 7 pm on Sunday when I say this to my Mom, she says: the obvious "it could be pink eye." Yeah duh! It was because yes there was just an outbreak at her daycare. So no school for her until 24hrs of drops. And Mommy and Daddy both cannot miss work on Monday, both are in crunch time issues at work. So, what to do with little miss pink eye? She goes home with my parents, my Mom works with Scott at the same place of employment, and right now is the major black out period at their work when it comes to time off. So, she stays with my Dad until Scott can pick her up from work. This is a strange situation. My Dad, well, adores is such a mellow phrase for his feelings for Syd. But does this mean he can keep her from the moment my Mom leaves for work at 6:45 am until 2:15 pm when Scott gets there to pick her up. Mind you, he will have to feed, diaper, clean,watch, AND entertain her during these hours. I was a bit apprehensive, but figured, he volunteered and well, hell, I was in a pickle. My Mom was having the same feelings I was, but what was the worst that could happen, he call and say, we are outside your door at your office, come get her? I told him that if things got too out of hand to call and I would just have to leave work and they would have to deal. Well, hell, you know what? He did a damn fine job. The two of them had a great day, and when Scott picked her up, she cried. And later a few days later my Dad even told me that when he went back in the house after Scott and Syd left, he even cried. Now mind you, he has been battling a kidney stone for about 4 weeks now and the pain meds can cause one to be a bit oversensitive. When I spoke to my Mom the next day she just kept saying "your Dad had SUCH a great time yesterday with Syd." I think that is a memory I will always hold so close to my heart. I know both of them will.

So, Dad keeps the kid, gets her meds and we are good for the week. WRONG. On Wednesday, Syd's school calls, that afternoon she has 101.9 fever. We go to the Dr. her throat is flaming red, fever nose issues you know the whole 9 yards. No strep, virus. So, no school on Thursday. So, I pack her up to take her to work with me. I figure we get there around 9 am and leave around noon. Yeah, best layed plans. I think we left at 3:30...but it was before 4 I do know that. Oh, yeah and every cuss word I have been stopping myself from saying around her and struggling to get my Dad and Scott to not say around her, was blown within the first 15 seconds when we walked in the door at my work. My boss, he has no kids and thank God for that small wonder. Yeah, we are sitting there, me trying to fix a computer issue, Syd on my lap, and him standing there with three other men in my office and the fucks and shits and GD's are flying. I am sitting there thinking, don't react it will only cause more of a reason to point out this language to her. In my mind I am saying "WHAT THE FUCK MAN, SHE IS A DAMN LITTLE KID! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM! YOU DON'T CUSS AROUND THE KID GOD DAMN IT!" But really I was fine. She did great, the whole freaking day, better than I in some aspects. I am lucky to have the ability in times like that to tote her in with me. Lets just hope that it is less than once a year. haha

The next day was Friday, and I was already scheduled off for that day. I had to wait for the GE repair man, since the window for their service calls are between the hours of 8-5, yeah thanks for narrowing that one down for me. So, my plan was to kick back for the day and relax and sleep and just veg out. Well, best layed plans again...Syd was still running a fever and I just did not feel good about sending her to school. So, day two with Mommy all day. Mommy is TIRED because ever since Tuesday night Syd who always sleeps through the night has been waking up around 10:30-Midnight and takes at least an hour to get back to sleep. My first clue that this illness is setting in. So, she and I chill on Friday, we take her back to the Dr. that afternoon just because I wanted them to check her again and she had started to reject all meds and getting her to eat was even getting to be a challenge. And drinking was not that high on the list either. Still no strep but her throat was still blazing red. We were told to give her anything she would eat that would keep her hydrated, popsicles, ice cream, anything that we could get her to take advil in because she was not taking that nor the tylenol. Either that route or the in the butt fever reducer. Yeah, ice cream worked..thank goodness.

Saturday, the kid was 99% better. Sunday, Mommy was showing exhaustion. Mommy ate breakfast and then was back in bed at 11 am and did not get back up until 5 pm.

Monday, Mommy feeling more and more sick. Tuesday, Mommy still getting sicker. Wednesday...yeah, I got Syd to school, went to Wal-Mart and got Nyquil and called work told them I was dead and if they needed me call me, my phone was next to my bed. I did not see Syd until Thursday morning when I woke her to take her to school. My plan for that day, stay for a few hours and go home. Well, by now you know my mantra. Yeah, that did not happen either, seems while I was out the ONE DAY, my bosses wife in her lovely fashion that she can pull off, decided to come in and lay into my employees for no fucking reason. Just because her husband, my boss is in Germany hunting and there was no one there to prevent her from doing so. Needless to say, Thursday afternoon when she did appear she asked me why I was still there as sick as I was and by that time, I felt so bad and really did not care any more, I told her, "I have to be here to be a buffer between you and my employee's, because if you are going to jump their asses like you did yesterday then no matter how sick I am, I cannot NOT be here to protect them." My main beef was that she never apologized to them, she bought them lunch....NO that is not saying you are sorry. But I did get her to say it and that was my main goal.

So, I was told at the end of the day on Thursday to stay at home on Friday if I was still so sick. Well, yeah I am still sick, the main thing is that my throat hurts so fucking much, it hurts worse than when I had my tonsils out when I was a kid. I have the virus Syd had of course,and I do not know how she behaved so well, because I have been terrible. I have had 4 pills with codeine to help with the pain, it is the only thing that can ease it and right at 3 1/2 hours I am back in pain again. I called to get in to see the Dr.he is booked solid, but they did call in three meds for me, and now Scott because he is coming down with it now too. I hope that the meds will get into his system to prevent him from going through this because if it has kicked my ass like this, he is going to just about die. I feel better today but the pain in my ears and throat is unbelievable.

So, now it is 12:30 am on Saturday, and I cannot sleep because codeine does not knock me out but it wires me. Yeah, lucky me.

And while we have been running illness street here, Kim has been dealing with more crap that I can ever imagine. She has put me to shame with the shit she has been coping with in the last 3 weeks. Pray for them, I feel just terrible that I am so far away and all that I have been able to offer her and her family are the prayers we have been sending them. I just wish I could have been there to at least give her a hug. Thank God from the last e-mails I have gotten from her, Little Man seems to be a lot better.

Yeah, it has been an interesting few weeks here. I am considering taking the heat from my sore throat and bending metal with the heat it seems to be creating because the only way I can describe it, is it feels like it is on fire. Cold does not ease the pain, warm foods and lots and lots of warm beverages can soothe it. I am going to turn into a sore throat lozenge. Icey blue mint anyone?

Where to begin

2006-09-23T06:10:00.000-07:00

The past few days at work have been even more unbelievable than the past few months. The final comment made by my boss on Thursday before he left the office was made to me, he came in and closed the door sat down and said to me: "If something around here does not change, I am going to sell this Mother fucking place and fuck over a lot of people." Followed by, "I keep watching people around here being fat, dumb, and happy, and I am sick and tired of it." Many other things were said. I am to whipped to even try and type it all. He left the office and has yet to return. With a comment like gonna sell this mother fucker and fuck a lot of people over, really makes you want to give it that 110%, don't you think? All of the problems he is addressing, none of them pertain to my area of management. In fact my area of the company kicks so much fucking ass, that area has not run more smoothly in the past 12 years since I have been with the company. It is frightening at times because I love the people I work with and this has not always been the case. My employees make me look good, and damn it, I enjoy that.

What does all this boil down to? Money. My boss has some bank. Like most business owners. But right before 9-11 things were getting tight. Money was being spent like it was in the previous golden years. In order to keep up with the trend of lower revenue the spending started to take its toll. Because the spending did not adjust to the revenue decrease. Someone, being my boss thought he could continue the spendthrift ways even though the dollars were not flowing in like before. The company had a strong history of being financially strong, and because of this many lines of credit and bills were let to go too far because the money was just not there like it was in the past. Right before things got really bad, I left for my corporate job in Dallas. I was there for about 1 year and 3 months before I was approached again by the company and asked to come back. In a different role, the one I had wanted while I was there. I did not need the job, I had a job, the ball was in my court. So, I told the owner I would come in and meet with him. But I told him right out, "I don't think you can afford me." He said, "Maybe not, but lets talk." The meeting was set, I would go that Monday and meet with him. That Friday when I got home from work, (I swear things happen for a damn reason) in the mail I got my diploma. My long and hard work the damn piece of paper I was told I would never get arrived in the mail. I sat down and sobbed. I pondered my meeting on Monday and told Scott, lets use this as a fantasy. Lets write down things that are so outlandish that they will never concede to. I edited my wants and needs all weekend. I wanted them to say no. When I left to go to the meeting, Scott said your offer is pretty ballsy. My Daddy raised me to be that way, was all that I could think. I really wanted them to say no, I did not really want to come back. And for some reason, they said yes plus with a few more added things I tacked on while we were talking. We wrote them down, submitted them to an attorney because I am getting this fucking thing in writing legally and I walked back in the door. The day before I went back, I found out Scott and I were pregnant. Funny that also was part of my offer. Damn, I still and floored at how good I came out.

But along with this wonderful deal, I catch a lot of shit. Sometimes more than my fair share. Many, many times I know I act more like the owner than the owner does. Many many times I am unable to sleep because of work worries and woes. In fact the past few days and nights have not been very pleasant for me, nor do I think for my family. If I do something, I do it beyond the measure it should be done. I know no other way to work. Yeah, I am extremely arrogant about the job I have done and do each day. And I know many people within the company as well as other colleagues that would agree with this. But at some point you cannot keep going at this pace without breaking down. After the uplifting 'talk' my boss had with me, I mentally and physically broke.

Yesterday came, I walked back in the door even though I was struggling not to run as far as my car would take me. And I started my day again. Obviously me taking down my diploma on Thursday made a few people, (the bosses wife) think I was quitting. She confronted me about it and I told her I am not a quitter. But I cannot and will not be the one he decides to come dump on when what he is mad about has not a damn thing to do with me and the job I do. I told her the plain facts that I have put my job before my family on too many occasions to be unappreciated and treated like a punching bag. That their are MANY and I mean more than my share of nights that I get home from work just in time to put Sydney in BED. I thank God that Scott's hours are as such so he can catch the slack that I leave behind. I am not the typical Mom who works, am a woman in a mans industry and I work harder to prove my salt everyday. And fuck you if you think I don't have to, I do I see it everyday and hear it even more. Once you get to know me and listen to me talk about my job, you know I know my shit. I am not allowed to show weakness in my job. If I do I lose all my credibility in my industry.

So, what exactly to say now besides FUCK. Nothing really. Just that I guess I need to reevaluate what I give and maybe take a bit more time for me? Yeah, I am going to try. Needless to say, my boss left on Thursday and will maybe be back on Monday. Seems things got too much for him, nothing that a little alligator hunting will not cure. Unlike myself, I do not run away when the stress gets to much. Maybe this is me being petty and small, but I hold my nuts up and come back day after day. Knowing that if I am able to come back, they have not beaten me yet.

OK Real Quick...

2006-09-16T16:04:00.000-07:00

After a day of shopping and none of this took part in Wal-Mart, I got my Chicken Poop, recommended by Kim my BFF and go HERE to check it out. I love it, if you need something beyond chapstick this is the shit...haha! It contains no poop but it is really great. SO, a day of shopping and I must admit I bought stuff for me, my work wardrobe is pretty sad. Seeing that I can just wear jeans and a nice shirt, the shirt factor was getting pretty boring and I was tired of wearing the same five over and over. So I spent some money on me..it was good but the guilt is still there. I came home and Scott bought me another one cup coffee maker since the last one crapped out on me recently and decided like every third use to release all the water on the counter and not into the mug...yeah it got tossed after Scott tried to take it apart...

Anyway, I got home, Syd crashed on the way home, came up to do a bit of Internet browsing and got my Classmates.com update e-mail. Hell I had time so I went over, had not been there in awhile. My conclusion on this, the high school I graduated from here in Texas, we had the highest enrollment of Gomer Pyles. One guy, and I am seriously not kidding thought we all would be intrested in seeing photos of his Rebel Flag that he has hung in is BIG RIG. Yep. Not fucking kidding you. And one photo of him, shows a nicely grown beard with a damn trucker cap on his head where the bill is so creased that it looks like a freaking duck bill and the caption below his photo is Rough and Ready....yeah, I am just so waiting for the next reunion....

And I wonder why my one friend that moved to Cali a few years after graduation told me recently she has no urge to come back...really? I wonder why? You think some people would out grow the look of white trash, well let me tell you, nope it is like stink on a monkey, it just stays there....if you don't believe me, ask and I will give you the name of the high school for you to check out. What a site or would this be sight?

YEEEE HAAAAA!!!

Rough and Ready?!!!

2006-09-15T21:06:00.000-07:00

Zoom - Best of the 70's

Could you speak Ubby-Dubby? For some reason when I was little I could...

OK admit it, you will be singing this all day long...

2006-09-15T21:01:00.000-07:00

The Ladybugs Picnic

I loved this when I was little and I now sing it to Syd, funny how things never leave, they just get filed away for another time...

2006-09-15T20:59:00.000-07:00

Pink Cowboy Boots

The cutest thing I have seen in a long time...

Ya thought you should wear that out in public?

2006-09-15T20:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I made another one of my many millon trips to Wal-Mart. If I am ever lost, check Wal-Mart. And I saw not one but two people not shopping together that had on slippers, not the fuzzy ones that for some God forsaken reason people have taken to wearing these out, but the old slippers like this.

I guess the real kicker about this, is that one of these people was a man, but I guess he felt his slipper wearin was OK because he had on a sports team name across the top of the slipper. Uhh, buddy, I don't think so. And the most annoying thing about this, he could not pick up his feet, and he was on every freaking isle I was on and I had to hear the slip slipping of his damn slippers up and down the isles. Slipppp, slipppp, slippp, slippp. I think you get the picture.

Well, it is Friday and the whipping of football has already started. Not only is it in my house, but the town we live in just opened a new high school stadium tonight. We are about 2 miles away from it and you can see the press box from our backyard, and hear the play-by-play. I went out to flip some burgers on the grill and I heard that someone made a first down...

The hillarous thing about this, in our old house we lived right across the street from a high school and we could not hear the game on Friday nights because the stadium is about 1/4 the size of this mega stadium they bulit here. Mind you the high school we lived across the street from was miniscule compaired to the district we live in now that has 3 soon to be 4 high schools. And we live in Texas and along with our Dr. Pepper the state beverage they love them some football in these there parts.

ARE YOU READY FOR AN ASS WHIP?

2006-09-10T10:44:00.000-07:00

This is my new motto until February when fucking football is O-V-E-R! At noon Scott pushed the dogs out of the way, crushed Sydney, as she flew across the floor, so he could run down stairs to plant himself in front of the television. The clock hit noon and he said, "And so it begins!" Seriously, he did not push dogs or fling Syd to the side, she was in bed taking a nap and the dogs were not around at the time. But watch out, if they were preventing him from getting his front row seat, this could be true.

In just a few, I am loading Sydney up into the car and going to begin my programming for the demise of football. Let the brain washing begin. Telling her to boo every time she hears the music that means the ass whip will begin.

I have been known to attend a football party...just for the food. NOT for the game. I just, hate it, I don't know why. Baseball is a snore to me, but I can tolerate it, but football, it is the equivalent to Scott's hate of "Bridezillas." I even will take golf over football.

No instead of brainwashing I am taking her and my Mom to this. The food event I was trying to take the afternoons off for was to judge this competition. I did get one afternoon to judge the items, and it was a lot of fun. I have to admit even my tolerance for hot food was challenged at this judging. It was crazy, we would be doing hot salsas and once your mouth was set a blaze it was hard to judge the next item due to trying to get control of the heat factor. The day I got there was the last afternoon of judging and they had run out of whipped cream, that is what you use to off-set the heat factor. So it was milk, which I have not had any of in 30 years, tea, or water. They gave us cheese and fruit too and that did help. But once you were lit it was hard to keep going. I think the strangest thing we had was chili vodka, yeah, I passed on that one.

Well, she is awake and it is time to shove off and being my mantra of WE HATE FOOTBALL!!!! My one wish for the day, may the Cowboys get their ass handed to them.....hate the Cowboys more than football....

Strange weekend

2006-09-07T03:25:00.000-07:00

This past weekend marked the one year mark of Bonnie's death. To some extent I have been watching the days go by and kept thinking it is coming and what will it be like for me. The anger I felt the week after her funeral and have been carrying for the past 12 months I can finally say is gone. Not sure if I have ever said blogwise what I discovered the week after she was killed but, I found that she was stealing from the company. I was also her boss. If this discovery was made and she had not died, I would have had to terminate her. My grief was so stunned and I don't think I was ever able to get through all of my feelings. Gee, it sounds so damn silly, working through my feelings... On Tuesday on my way home from work, I had to run a few errands. I was in the area of the cemetery and I went to her grave. I finally was able to say in spite of all that was discovered I still miss her and miss her friendship. This is big for me. On the way home crying, talking to Scott I told him, even if circumstances were different and I had to fire her and she never talked to me again, I still would rather that be the case than her to be gone.

On another strange and beyond freaky occurrence and I swear this happened and I am so glad Scott was there to witness this. At 1:30 am on Monday our home phone rang. Just about 1 1/2 hours earlier that last year when I got the call that Bonnie had been killed. I woke up and though no, no way please not again. It was some freaking wrong number and I am so damn glad of that, but I swear it was fucking weird. Scott says maybe it is Bonnie trying to talk to me or something. And the way I believe I think he might be right. And now I can see if she was she would have to do it at a strange time, so I would know.

I do still miss her, but now I am able to speak about her and remember the good things about her. A year helps the anger fade but the loss, it is still there.

Kim sent me the most amazing present ever. It is a necklace that has a photo of Sydney in it, not a locket but a necklace that the focal point is her photo. It has a charm next to the photo on another chain of a heart. It brought me to tears, not too hard to do but it was just wonderful. But the most amazing thing to me is that she remembered what a hard time this weekend might bring upon me. And her e-mails from her telling me that she is thinking of me and praying for me, just touches my heart so deeply. I am such a lucky person to have Her.

Well, coffee is done, I have about 15 min before I have to get ready for work....better run. Folgers is calling.

My present to you...

2006-08-30T12:21:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday my Dear Best Friend. I am terrible at birthday's we are lucky that I even remember Syd's and Scott's! This might seem cheesy and a little queasy, but it is from the heart and created with much love.

May not make much sense to anyone else, but it is not for them just you. So enjoy Kim, this is just for you:

Who Knew?

Who knew when we first met
That we didn’t just share the same kind of pet
That once you scratched the surface
You found a friendship with a purpose
A person in your corner
For all the years over

No matter how far the miles stretch
The friendship would withhold the test
No day would go by
When a thought of you
Could not pass by
A bond formed from friendship
One that has become like a kinship

For you are my Best Friend
And I am so glad you can take my hand
As we travel through life and its toils
We will never foil
Because we have each other
A friendship like no other

Who knew when we first met
That what we would share would be more than just the same kind of pet

Love-Tawny

Ever feel like this?

2006-08-23T11:16:00.000-07:00

I T-R-Y really, really hard to see the good, but maybe that is not seen in the blogworld, because quite frankly a blog to me is a diary of thoughts and feelings and observations. Quite possibly my entries might seem like I am a constant complainer. In my "real" life I think it is safe to say I try an see the good in all "things" around me. I will call attention to utter stupidity when I see it though, I mean, you have to, it is begging you to. The past I guess it is two weeks now have been really, really hard on me at work. Mentally it is blowing my mind. It is a temporary patch that will pass I know, but making it day-by-day has been hard. Many many times I just want to shut my door and put my head down and cry. I know this is no "solution" and maybe it makes me a "girl" but fuck it, it is the way I deal with stress. Today I was offered a really wonderful chance to do something that goes along with my passion of cooking. An opportunity to experience another realm in the cooking world. I jumped at the chance and got my application in right after I read the e-mail. Thinking, this is just what I need right now, it will offer me a bit of solace in an area where I can indulge my passion. Soon after I was up in the bosses office and I mentioned to him that next week I will be gone for three afternoons next week. I told him what I would be doing, and his reply was "Three afternoons are a bit much." If you "know" me, you know that me taking time away from work is pretty much a real struggle for me. Even on my vacations I still work. I have to have contact with my job because it is what is required in my job. When I was on leave after having Syd, I still worked from home and came in every Friday during my leave. Yes, every Friday with the baby, who was 2 weeks old the first time I came in. Yes, that was me. SO, I was pretty fucking pissed today. So, I changed my application for ONE day. I have 4 weeks of vacation, if I did the three sessions that I picked it would take 1 1/2 days of my vacation. I had to carry over 10 days of my vacation from last year because I cannot use them up. When mentioning this in the past the answer from my boss has been "Not my fault you cannot find time to take off." REALLY! Uhh, yeah it is. I will post more about my "foodie adventure" after it is over. I will offer you this: I get to go eat some good food and offer my opinion on it, so well I think that is pretty damn cool.

So back to my do you ever feel like question. I came to this conclusion today, I feel like a bridge that is hanging over a waterfall. One of those shaky wooden bridges that people walk on and never know what the next step is going to have in store for them. I feel like the bridge and the people keep piling on. Then the bridge breaks and everyone on the bridge blames the bridge for not being strong enough to hold them. It makes me question my ability to cope and deal. Makes me wonder if I am strong enough for the job that I have and to do right by my family. Whenever I question my strength it raises all these questions in my mind of what am I doing wrong and what is wrong with me. When it really might not be me and be someone else. Maybe it is insecurity but I hate it.

Then, I consider what other people deal with day end and day out, and it makes me think I am this shitty whiney baby that cannot deal when things get a bit tough. I can think of so many people that have real problems, and make mine seem so trivial in nature. Do I have a point? Does not seem like I do. I guess I am just confused in how I am supposed to feel. If I mention to my boss that the stress is pretty high, he tells me, "your stressed, imagine how I feel." Well, he owns the company, I would IMAGINE he is pretty fucking stressed. So, I just have learned to say nothing at all, it is not a pissing contest, it sure makes it feel like it is. I cannot compete with a penis.

Diet Coke and Vanilla Vodka

2006-08-21T12:32:00.000-07:00

Saturday night we decided to be the adults we are and celebrate with some friends of their recent nuptials. They were married in Vegas a few weeks ago and had a party here on Saturday. So that evening Scott and I headed out to Downtown Dallas. We packed a bag, somehow with this party we were offered a room at the Downtown magnolia Hotel for a really cheap rate. So, off to Downtown we go, the sun setting the heat still 100+ degrees and the fucking traffic. I cannot believe for 2 years I drove to Downtown for work. I am still gripping the "oh shit" bar from the ride. Seeing that we were kidless for the evening and able to walk back to our hotel, we let our hair down. So far down for me that all day yesterday I felt like shit. Why is it that once you get older it is harder and harder to recover from a night of drinking? Yep, a day after hitting the vanilla vodka, I was toast for the next day. Gee, I think my bounce back was a lot better when I was in my 20's....

Syd stayed the night at my parents house, which is good, they have left for a 2 week trip to California. They are driving...they are insane, but they have to bring back some furniture and stuff, but the drive from Texas to Cali does not sound like one I want to make any time soon. They plan on stopping along the way to see the sites but even that does not make me want to jump in the car and take off out West. Seeing how Syd changes so much from day-to-day, it will be interesting how much she will have learned between now and then. Yesterday while we were in Wal-Mart, yes, again, as we were shopping any time I would say thank-you to someone she would repeat it. Very cute, and she is getting to be very good on her manners. I am a firm believer in the yes ma'am's and yes sir's.

Now for my weekend observations:

While at the "party" I noticed one party goer that decided to wear her high school prom dress to the function. OK, sure, go for it, but the added quality of this one, it was too small to zip in the back, so you know the solution to this problem, Ladies, next time just put on a denim jacket. But make sure that the jacket comes right to the point in the back that you can see that the damn dress is NOT going to zip any further. It was a strange sight...

While at Wal-Mart, I noticed another person wearing a shirt that said "Best Dad", the off feature of this, it was worn by a woman.....

Do not take a toddler shopping into a store that has "fake" fruit and veggies, they DO NOT understand that the "fake" food is to decorate and the screaming for the grapes can just about drive you crazy. EAT!!! Grapes!!! EAT!!!

On the way to get our nails done this weekend, Sydney decided to entertain my Mom and I by staying "Poo-Poo Kitty" I have not a fucking clue where this came from or who taught it to her. But it was some funny shit.

I think any hotel that serves cookies and milk for its guests from 9 PM to 11 PM is pretty damn cool. Too bad I opted for more free Diet Coke and Vanilla Vodka, I was looking forward to cookies and milk.

Well, I had a ton more, but because of daily obligations and other thoughts that are clogging my brain, I have forgotten them all. Lucky you, lucky you!

My Next Invention

2006-08-14T10:46:00.000-07:00

And my next invention will be allowing me to blog from thoughts that occur in my head, it would make finding time to blog so much easier for me. Yes, bloggin at work, a major No-No (shaking finger as I say it like Syd does) for me. But hell, rules made for myself are made to be broken by myself. In all honesty blogging for me was used as an outlet to burn free time at work. See, that is where I went wrong...Plus it was easier for me to blog in the old house because it did not require me to carry my lazy ass up stairs to get to the damn computer. If it was not for having to lock the doggins (love you Honey) up everyday before work, I would NEVER go up stairs.

During the week, I think of many many things that I would love to blog about. Andrea Yates comes to mind. My best friend Kim posted about this disaster in history the.whole.damn.thing that is. The day that the new "verdict" came down, we were on vacation. I was trying and trying does not even begin to express the effort involved here, to put Syd down for a nap when the verdict was announced. For some strange reason, I felt the need to be with my child. I just felt that I had to be with her and look at her and maybe I don't know protect her from this cruel reality. I cannot explain it obviously but the need to be near her was so great. I am listening to the commentary before the verdict was announced and many new details were given, and they made me feel sick. I truly wanted to throw up. Not only did I feel sick, I felt rage against this monster that did this thing to her children. I know that their would be no way in hell I would have been on this jury because the details that were given, I would have gotten up out of the jury box and gone over and beat the woman to death myself, and felt good about it while doing it. Does this make me any better than her? Probably not, but my feelings on the subject is that she does not deserve to live. WTF are we going to do, rehabilitate this "woman" so she can live in society and be...Productive? Is she the only person to blame here? I have to say..NO. Her wimp ass of a husband should be on the table next to her strapped down getting ready for the injection too. Just a few things I do not understand about HIM, being, the Dr.'s told HIM and HER that her getting pregnant again was not a wise idea due to her mental problems in the past. And if they are such a spiritual family as they "Played it" to the public then why did her divorce her? And what religion tells you to move your family into a bus to live? The Partridge Family Religion? I don't think Mr. Yates hands are bloodless in the murder of his children. Maybe my thoughts and feelings are slanted by the publicity of this tragedy, but the whole thing rots with the stench of wrong by all parties involved. The "verdict" was a joke and the punch line were these children that paid with their life.

NEXT!

My child, the little sprout that she is has been incredible. I have to say, I never knew how much children pick up from their parents until you have one. Plus, she is fucking smart as hell. I know, she is my child, but the things that she knows and can do each day I ask Scott, "did you see that?" "Did you hear what she said?!" It amazes me. I hope that she does not pick up on everything she sees and hears from us, we have heard a few "shits" and "damns" come out of the back seat, and at the kitchen table. We just ignore them and walk away kicking ourselves in the ass for what terrible parents we are for saying such dirty words around her...fuck, it's nature.

We are trying to learn to use the potty. She will be playing or looking at her books and you can just tell by her posture and the purple/red face helps that she is crapping her pants. I ask if she wants to use her potty, and the answer I get is No! Scott for some unknown reason can get her to use her potty. Don't know exactly why she will go willingly if Daddy asks, but hey whatever works.

NEXT!

Utility companies suck. Last month, we were gone for a week, turned up the A/C to 80 degrees, this happened to be the week that Dallas had a break in the heat wave of 2006. My parents were e-mailing me that the weather was actually...Livable. Therefore due to the change in the A/C setting and the cooler temps, wouldn't you think the monthly bill will be LOWER than the month before? Got the bill today, it is EXACTLY the SAME. The payment amount is EXACTLY the same. Further looking into the bill they have estimated our usage for the past two months. Now how can you estimate the usage and bill for that legally? I am sure their is some damn law that states this is OK because we live in a world where someone cannot get paid to do the job of meter reading. Scott and I were discussing this earlier and I am sure that they will offer the option of having someone come out and READ THE ACTUAL METER, but that we will have to pay an extra $ 5.00 a month for this service....Yeah. I can totally see this being true. We only provide the electricity we don't provide reading of the meter for what you USE of the electricity.

To some extent this reminds me of one of the Ladies in my office. She is older and needs a mamogram, her insurance will pay for the mamogram but will NOT pay for the READING of the mamogram...WTF! To me that is like going to the grocery store to get eggs and they give you a live chicken instead of the eggs. Does not make sense to me.

Yeah, I get on a roll and can't stop.

Here is another instance of stupidty.

Two weeks ago, I e-mailed a question to our financial firm to ask how much we are charged for a bounced check that we have deposited into our account. Needing the information to bill the customer for the bounced check fee. I waited a whole day and mind you I e-mailed this question to three people. The next day 24 hours later, I asked to the same three people if anyone had gotten an answer to my question because I wanted to bill for the charges. My e-mail answer from one of the people was, "Yeah, we have it, sorry." Yes. really.that.is.what.it. says, I still have the e-mail to prove it too. OK, call me petty but I am pretty pissed at this point but decide to wait because maybe this stupid fucking answer will be followed with an answer I can USE. I wait, two day, for an answer. NOTHING. So, I e-mail again, asking "Can I get the answer to this question?" so I can BILL THE CUSTOMER. The response was "Oh sorry,
$ 32.00." Finally, an answer I can use. Maybe I expect too much out of people.

And after a day like this, I am expected to go home and relax. My poor family, when I speak gibberish possibly they will be able to understand why.

2006-08-09T11:12:00.000-07:00

We're the Doodlebops

They are slowly taking over our house...

My thoughts, if Daddy has Marilyn Manson, Sydney can have The Doodlebops!

We're the Doodlebops!!!

2006-08-07T14:58:00.000-07:00

Aggie Commercial

I dedicate this one to my dear, dear husband.

I love you baby!

There baaaccckkkkkkk.........

2006-08-02T17:38:00.000-07:00

And a fun time had by all. Our summer vacation of 2006 to FL is completed for this year. It was nice. Syd decided this year instead of sleeping like she did last year she would go back and forth in my and daddy's lap for the whole 2 1/2 hour flight. On the way home she slept for the last 45 min of the 3 hour flight home. Scott and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary while we were on vacation. We went out a few nights afterwards and left Syd with her Great-Grand Parents and her Grandma. They got some good bonding time in.

I think the best part of the whole trip for me was that my Sister-in-law has finally found someone that I approve of. She has finally found someone who treats her the way we have told her for years she deserves the way to be treated. She is probably the most beautiful woman I have ever met in my life, but her choice in men has quite frankly sucked ass. She is seeing a new man and he came down to meet the fam while we were on vacation. He got to meet the whole damn gang of us, and my quote was if you don't want him send him to Texas because we need another nice guy here. Syd loved him and I admire him and the job he does, he is a deputy sheriff and works the K-9 unit. Listening to him about his work and the passion he has for the work he does makes me glad to have him doing the work he does. Wow!! I just hope and PRAY this one sticks and that this one goes for the long haul.

The new employee I hired before I left has worked out smashingly! I can actually say the employees I have now in my office I really LIKE! We finally have a team of people that have the same work ethic and goals set in place.

I did have to fire someone today though. It never gets easier even when I am not their direct boss. I just hate it, where is that class in my management core of "How to Fire Someone 101" That is something I could really use from time to time....

I did read one full book while on vacation, that was my goal. Mind you at times I was crouched up against a nightl ight trying so hard to make out the words because I was afraid to turn on the light and wake "Sydney the impossible to get to sleep while on vacation monster."

I am in the process of listening to "A Million Little Pieces" after being 100 on the waiting list I was finally on the top and I have to say even if the book is all bunk and not a "true account", it is some amazing writing. I am listening to this story about a man having dental work done on his teeth, two root canals and two teeth filed filled and capped WITHOUT ANY PAIN MEDICATION AT ALL. None, nada, zilch. See the patient is in a drug treatment facility and they cannot give the patient any sort of medication at all. The writing of this account is incredible and even if it is fiction it is some damn good writing.

OK bathtime for Sydney, gotta run!!

Going, Going, Gone

2006-07-21T00:27:00.000-07:00

The tooth drama of 2006 I hope to God is over. The long and short of it is that after the consultation on Monday with the other dentist, they could not guarantee that I would not lose the tooth with them treating it. So the other option have it pulled. I went with the latter choice, thinking they would do it...no I get to go back to my regular dentist to have that done and on Monday he had Jury Duty. He saw me on Tuesday and right before I went in I downed two more pain pills that I had been eating like candy over the weekend. Numbing my mouth took longer than the tooth pulling, and it was quite frankly easy and painless. After he pulled it he said, "Oh good thing you opted for this choice, look at the root of the tooth here, it has a cyst on it and this would have kept going on and on until you pulled it, treated or not." So my choice was the right one and all for the low price of $ 100.00, thanks for the $ 50.00 discount Dr. Jack! I think it was the pigs in a blanket I took to them for all the help they gave me the past few days.

Monday night my gum next to my cheek was swollen with an abscess. It was fucking gross, the dentist I saw on Monday said, "Yeah, it would be a lot bigger if you were not on the anti-biotics right now." It finally popped on Monday night and it was disgusting, there was no way in hell I was swallowing that shit, but afterwards the pressure and the throbbing was so much better. When I saw Dr. J that next AM I told him it popped and he said "Felt much better, hun?" Hell yes was my response I think.

And yes, I went straight to work afterwards, I just want my tombstone to read "She was always dedicated to her job, no matter what."

Thursday, I was supposed to leave work at 12 noon for a 1/2 day, I left at 4 PM. But that is OK, never mind that it is 2:32 AM on Friday morning and after two Lunesta to sleep I am awake and getting nervous about flying again....it is always something I tell you.

Pray for Syd to be an angel on the plane please. Benadryl in hand we will be off for our family vacation later this afternoon.

Thank GOD...I need a BREAK!

What a week

2006-07-15T15:43:00.000-07:00

I have tried to up my blogging and my efforts as you see have failed. So much has flown by this week so here is a quick outline.

Monday: My everso bothersome employee that I have hoped and prayed would resolve into other employment came in that afternoon and gave me notice that Friday would be the last day of their active employment with the company. I was asked, "Didn't you expect it?" by said employee and no I did not but the week previous when we dressed better than capri pants and a t-shirt I was hoping that my luck would change. And it did. Then I was told by said employee "You and I just don't mesh." Really? Could it be because you were busted looking for another job on my time on my company computer, or that I took the Internet off of your computer after you had been warned about your abuse of the use of it, or that you were doing other people's taxes on the company computer for profit or could it be that in my insane thoughts I expected you to work? Said employee did work and did just enough to get by. I would ask for other jobs to be done and after my request I was answered with a huge sigh. I guess this was the way to tell me I don't want to do them but I guess I will. Who the fuck knows I just know that yesterday at 4:00 PM I am no longer this persons boss and it feels fucking wonderful.

Tuesday: Searching for employee replacement hits overdrive...see I go on vacation next week...
That night I fall asleep I think around 2 am. Mind you I took 3 benadryl and they did nothing to make me fall asleep. Eventually I had to have 1/2 of a Xanax to help my panic that I will not have this position filled in time and all hell will break lose.

Wednesday: Again no sleep, still searching for an employee. First interview set up for today and I got stood up. This could suck. Panic is still on the cusp. Still not able to sleep all the night through. Don't think I slept that whole night. Was up watching tv till God knows when. But going to the Dr. Tomorrow hopefully the end will be in sight.

Thursday: Doctors appointment to do med check on new meds. Weight issue with other meds. I just about kissed the Dr. when the scale said I had lost 5 pound and last time I was in shorts and a t-shirt. This time I was in jeans and a sweater. I can tell a real difference my eating is right back to where it was before the meds and I eat only when I am truly hungry. Many times a cheese stick will be my dinner and do not have that craving for crap food when I take these new meds. Told Dr. about my inability to sleep and then told him I had taken Ambeien when I was pregnant..once and never will again. I had hallucinations that I was a man, it was a freakish thing. So he prescribed Lunesta. Well, he gave me a huge bag full of samples and also refilled my Xanax for the plane ride next week. We are hoping that once I am on vacation I will be able to sleep normally. Since Bonnie was killed in September of 2005 I have yet to fall asleep without Benadryl, or some other sleep aid like allergy meds or nyquil. Nights freak me out, the other meds I was on for my racing mind would put me out but well the weight gain was just too much. So Wednesday night I go and take my sleep med, just one because well it is new meds. At 1 AM I am still awake....
Also on Thursday....For the past 2 weeks I have been fighting a toothache but it comes and goes, Thursday I was kicking my ass. So I have pain meds for my root canal I had a few months ago so I take that and it helps. I call the dentist by this time they are closed. They call back and tell me to come in at 8 AM on Friday. Interview two people and think I have found the one. Call her back she said she will come in on Friday and take her drug and background check and agrees to come back and start training.

Friday: Go to the dentist, and well, news is not good. I have an infection below my one tooth that had a root canal when I was 21. The infection is pushing my now crowned tooth up and causing it to be the first tooth to be hit when I bite down. The infection is trying to force its way out. Now my gum is very inflamed and I have to see an oral surgeon ASAP. They are closed on Friday. So with my prescriptions of codeine and antibiotics I am sent on my way. I am freaked because I fly out next Friday...I hope this gets done! I work my way through the day on pain meds the only last about 4 hours and then my mouth is pounding again. I leave work at 7 yes I said 7 PM last night. My new employee showed up and jumped right into things. The other office people really seem to think it is a good fit. My former employee leaves shortly after 4 and I am so damn grateful that part of my management career is over. I think I have a great network of people working now and with this group I think we will have a system where everyone works as a team and we can have a good time while doing it. Last night when I got home my parents were over to see Syd. I told my Dad I might need him to drive me home this week from the dentist. My Aunt and one of her sons will be there on Monday and leave on Wednesday as they pass through with a youth gathering thing. I hope I can get the time to spend with them this week and get this mouth thing taken care of before I have to leave. Plus I have a ton of work to get done in general and I need to make sure my new employee can do the basics of billing before I leave....I so wish for about 3 more days before I leave for vacation...
Last night 2 lunesta and I slept. Scott has been such a hero today. He has basically given me the day off today. I have slept on and off because my mouth still hurts but the antibiotics are helping. Plus Thursday night I had a meltdown and told him I feel like I am failing at everything and not able to keep my shit together. I guess lack of sleep and pain can cause you to lose your mind at times.

Scott is currently taking Syd to spend the night with my parents. While we are gone I think they are going to have a hard time not seeing her. She is getting to that fun stage and each day she gives us more to be amazed at. We are now talking in 3 word sentences. We have heard a lot about "Bird, eat, bye-bye. And she signs while she says it. And we are saying Thank you...huge deal for me!! We say and sign please a lot but thank-you is a new one.

This week will be busy what an understatement! Please if the dentist have a fairy please ask that fairy to fit me in for this surgery before my vacation!!

Observations at the grocery store

2006-07-08T18:27:00.000-07:00

I don't claim to be the world's best parent, in fact I am far from it. We have been dealing with hitting for the past few weeks, yesterday it was kicking. We deal with the hitting with the time-out. I just cannot reason with telling a child to not hit and to spank for hitting. It does not mix to me. BUT, I will spank. Yesterday I did, I still feel like shit for it but it was deserved. Yesterday when I got home from work, I was on the couch with Syd and Daddy. Syd started to kick me three times, we both told her to stop it was not nice. She did it again, and I told her I was going to pop her and I did, on the leg I slapped her leg, her world crumbled and she had tears spring to her eyes immediately. She cried and Daddy told her to tell Mommy she was sorry, the response "no!" She did tell me sorry and we hugged and made up. I feel like shit, I know it was the right way to handle that situation and it is over, but I still hate that I had to do it. Last Saturday she was pinching, I pinched back, she cried, we have yet to pinch again. But the damn hitting thing, I gotta find another way to tell this 17 month old to not hit without hitting her back. My next research project on the net!

ANYWAY! My point, today at Kroger, I am shopping and there is a couple with their child who is younger than Syd, probably about 13 months old. She is looking at the poptarts on the lower shelves and her Father is there watching her, and each time she touches the items on the shelves he slaps her hand. He grabs her hand and slaps it. I saw it happen 5 times. I wanted to cry. Why oh why can't he put her in the buggy seat and give her something to hold and occupy her time with. Why not re-direct her to something else. Why is she allowed to walk the isle if she cannot touch. Everyone else is touching. It was heartbreaking. Over and over, slap. I probably should have said something but I was gutless and just walked on. I came home and told Scott and just still feel like crap for not doing something. The little girl never cried but it still makes me feel bad.

Some people should not be allowed to have children.

2006-06-30T11:32:00.000-07:00

The Hokey Pokey

Here she is doing the Hokey Pokey...we are so damn proud.

2006-06-29T11:05:00.000-07:00

Jeopardy-Part 3

Something that makes Scott and I laugh all the time, I think this one will be a classic.

And a week later...

2006-06-27T18:34:00.000-07:00

Yeah, this sucks, still not blogging at work. Might if I get time try and catch up on my reading of blogs...ugh!! Truly by the time I get Syd to bed at night the sound of my pillow calling me is almost more than I can handle. Crawling up the stairs tonight was killing me. Mind you it is 8:32 PM and I am also just now eating my dinner, while I blog.

Auditor was to come in on Monday. 10 AM rolls around don't see an auditor in my office anywhere. Call New York to check on him...he then calls about 3 minutes later, bad weather in the Northeast could not get out, be there tomorrow. Mind you this was the guy that gave me hell about ice and possible snow, yeah same guy. He made it here today, I did hear him on the phone with his kid talking about slugs...glad he is wasting my time to educate them about slugs, if he would come in do his job and leave he could be home to teach the science lesson at home himself.

We are recovering from the first episode of strep throat at our house. Syd came home on Friday with a 103 temp. and Daddy took her to the Dr. I think he was seen around 7 PM. Thank God our doctor fit her in and saw her, I cannot imagine what the weekend would have been like without getting her on the meds sooner. She seems to be recovering fine, still a lot of coughing and nose stuff. But I am walking around hacking every five minutes so it must be something in the air.

I am tired, exhausted, overwhelmed at work and pretty much it seems to be the same shit, different week. The time off for vacation cannot come fast enough. Seems since we are going a week later than normal it just makes it seem further away, but soon we will be on our return plane ride home and we will be moaning and groaning that it will be forever before we get to go next year. Somehow the vacations take forever to get here but my Daughter is growing faster than Barry Bonds on steroids. Something to ponder. Sorry mind is cluttered with baseball, since I do not have the energy to grab the remote I am being held hostage by the Red Sox Nation.

Send in Lifetime STAT!

Resolutions that suck

2006-06-20T19:24:00.000-07:00

When you make a new resolution to not blog at work..it just sucks ass. Seeing that I make the rules and how the fucking computer usage at my job has been so damn out of whack recently I have taken to only looking at my e-mail at work and checking the websites needed to get my damn job done. I hate it, but since my mini vacation last week I have not had a free moment to do anything fun at work and waste time.

Sydney is fucking amazing, she did a somersault on Saturday, two of them, I have no clue where she learned it, but it was incredible. Scott has taught her the baseball signal for sending someone to the bullpen. So if you ask her if we or she needs to go to the bullpen she will tap her forearm with two fingers. Damn it is funny. And she is now doing the Hokey Pokey. As you can tell we are as entertaining as a barrel full of monkeys at our house. Lots of singing from Mommy and Mommy cannot carry a tune if it was in a fucking dump truck. At this moment she is sleeping for the first time on her blow up air bed on the floor. She will be sleeping on this next month while we travel to FL for vacation. I figure she might as well get used to it now if she does it great, if not we will have hell to pay in FL. She sleeps on a floor cot at school now, so well here we go. Next week, I will be packing her bags to send her to college. I just know it.

My throat hurts, the new meds make me not able to sleep without massive amounts of tylenol PM and, the good thing is that I am rarely hungry...hopefully this will cause the extra poundage to fall off.

Go Mavs...Mark Cuban...he is one funny motherfucker.

Tidbits

2006-06-13T19:05:00.000-07:00

Sunday night to kick off my partial week off, I watched some previously recorded stuff I had not had the time to watch. I started with Baghdad ER, a documentary on HBO about the ER set up for the troops and the Iraq Police and also the hated and feared. I was informed about this show via the local sports talk radio station in town. They said if you can get through the intro you might be able to watch the whole program. I was glued to my television. The feeling I had while watching was one of helplessness. I felt so weak that I could not perform the duties that these Men and Women serving our Country have taken. They truly are such heroes and I am so proud to have them serving my Country. The utter hell that these people are going through and wanting to get back out to their squad is just incredible. I consider myself a strong individual, I am a huge piece of shit compared to what these people are doing. I just sobbed during the whole show. It was real and I felt I owed it to them to watch and not live in my sheltered world. I know watching does not make a difference but, I felt it was the least I could do. I recommend everyone to watch it. It is bloody and in your face reality. You cannot psych yourself out and tell yourself it is not real, it is as real as it gets.

On a lighter note...

I am indulging?? In my days off. Yesterday I took Syd to pre-school and then sat at home all day waiting for the GE repair man to come in and fix our new oven. My convection oven was not convectioning. I knew that I was not crazy in my thoughts that this thing is NOT working. Come to find out the switch was shorting out or something and it now works. Mind you my window of they will be hear from the hours of 8 am to 5 pm, they used that just about up. I think he arrived about 4:15 or so. But he was here and fixed it and we are good.

Today I had a doctor appointment and I am so happy to report that the medicine that I have been on for my crazy mind is being changed. The gradual weight gain has continued and my Doctor finally said lets try something else. So on Thursday night I start the new meds. This medication was initially used to treat seizures. And if I develop a rash from the medication, it could be fatal...good times! I told Scott today that I was sorry that he is married to a woman with an imbalance in her brain. Now thinking back on my life and seeing how I can live without being so freaked out about everything I wonder how different my life would have been if I was diagnosed earlier or the medication was available back when I was 13. Growing up was hard enough let alone not being able to get my mind right with life. At the age of 16 I was seriously considering suicide because things were just too much for me to handle. Thankfully with a lot of counseling I got my shit together. There were some other pretty traumatic things that happened later during my teenage years and when I moved away to go to college I seriously thought I was headed for a nervous breakdown. Then back in September and October of 2005 dealing with the sudden death of Bonnie and all the repercussions of that trauma sent me spiraling. Thus the medication and such a drastic change in how we were treating my ongoing depression and OCD and anxiety. I have to say anxiety was a great weight loss tool for me. I have to say of all my "problems" I liked the fact that it turned off the need to eat and just be able to survive on coffee and adrenaline. Not the best way to model behavior to your child.

tomorrow my Dad and Sydney and I are off to Dallas to visit the ladies I used to work with before I came back to my previous job. I found out I was pregnant right after I left that job and the women I worked with keep saying that Sydney is their baby. I have not been there with her since she was about 2 months old. They are going to freak and it is a surprise for them all. It will be nice to share her with them. We have been trying to get her to say "GO MAVS!" We ask her to say it and she says "no." That is her new favorite word. While we were out on Sunday all she said while in her car seat to herself was no,no,no,no,no. It could drive you batty if you allow it!

Oh and she said poop today too. Kim and I just were talking about this yesterday. Seems Little Man is just infatuated with saying poop right now. Boy oh boy, what will be next?!

Just a few things of note

2006-06-09T11:12:00.000-07:00

This morning while getting ready for work I was listening to the radio and two stories really stuck out for me. The first being about the woman who beat the breeder she got a 4 WEEK OLD PUPPY from. The poor puppy did not make it and the buyer beat the breeder with the dead puppy. You can read the details here.

The second is about the woman who saw her ex-boyfriend driving his new girlfriend around in the car next to her. She proceeded to hit the car and come back and ram it some more. You can read the crazy details here, the ending of the whole story is fucking classic!

Oh yeah, GO MAVS!!! Thank God Shaq cannot sink a free throw. But if it makes him feel better, I can't either never been good at the "free" shot. Don't think I ever made one during my lack luster career in high school.

I am counting down the hours until I blow this popsicle stand called work. Next week I am taking at least 4 possibly 5 days off of work. I am so damn ready for it, too bad each fucking day has something planned to take care of or appointments I have not been able to get scheduled.

I have another GD issue with the fucking Internet at work. By God I am NOT paying someone to work while they surf all the job websites here at WORK. I also am not allowing you to load Turbo Tax on the computer to do your taxes and others that you know for profit. FUCK THAT SHIT. So, yesterday I just took the connection off of the computer. I happened to print off a job lead from Career builder that was sent to their COMPANY e-mail and meant to put it in my office. I forgot, so it was on the printer when they arrived to work this AM. Needless to say we have been moping in the office all day, knowing our ass is in a sling and the e-mail is gone. No biggie I have ways of retrieving everything! Get your own computer at home and surf and work at home, but DON'T do it on MY time that I pay you for. I am all for taking some time to surf here and there, it does not bother me, but really...this is a bit too much. Plus I am so damn tired of seeing all the game playing on the GD computer too. So, needless to say, I will be having one of my World Famous write up sessions here in a bit. Where the hell was this class in my management degree plan?

A-NNOY-ING

2006-06-05T13:01:00.000-07:00

So, since the beginning of May I have been planning on an audit. I was told the 2nd week in May that I would have an audit on the 5th of June. I have one every 6 months, part of the job, and I HATE them. Audits are right next to root canals. Plus for some of you, you might recall my post back in December during my last audit. About the auditor that was hammering the shit out of me because he was here and we were being threatened with a ice storm. Lucky girl that I am, this audit was to be done by the same winner of a guy. The guy that I cannot e-mail one God Damned thing to because EVERYTHING I e-mail him bounces. Even my replies to him. I have to send them through someone else to get them to him. Friday I get an e-mail from the auditor asking that I e-mail him some preliminary reports so he will have a chance to get a head start before he gets here. I reply and forward my reply to the 3rd party and ask that my reply of: Not able to e-mail reports to him because like last time you were here, EVERYTHING BOUNCES TO YOU THAT I SEND. (Mind you I sent him this same message days earlier through my 3rd Party!) I also told him I cannot e-mail him the reports because our system does not have to ability to e-mail reports. I asked him to e-mail me an address and I would Fed-Ex them to him on Friday and he would have them Saturday. No response, all fucking day. I go home, thinking, oh well, I did my best, his loss.

Today comes, I drag my ass to work. Get here the earliest I can arrive without dropping the kid off to wait for daycare to open, and get all the reports he has requested in order, triple checked it and I go along with my day. At 10:00 AM I get a phone call. From the Auditor............HE IS NOT COMING THIS WEEK!! Seems that airfare is too high right now, did he just figure this out this MORNING? Could he call on FRIDAY to alert me? He then asked, "How about next week?" I reply, "Sorry, next week does not work for me, I scheduled 4 days off to recover from the audit." His reply, "oh." Yeah right Oh... SO! The week of the 26th I can look forward to doing the audit then. Fucker.

On a happier note. This weekend was packed full of activity. We had some of Scott's good friends come over for a get together on Saturday. When I met Scott, the first group of his friends I was introduced to was this group of friends. Quickly they became my friends. Due to life and all those other things that get in the way of seeing each other, we do not get to see them much. Maybe twice or three times a year. So, it was great to have them come out and see the new house and get to visit. We all watched the Mavs WIN, and enjoyed some great food and snackies as Scott would call them, and partook in some drinking of some wine and other assorted beverages. Good times!

Saturday morning, after I got up and moving I was doing Millie's medicine and noticed that her eye seemed to have blood in the discharge from the eye. SO! Off to the vet for the 3rd time. Better safe than sorry. I just knew I would be leaving her for them to take the eye. After an exam and history of what happened since my last Saturday visit to the original vet that saw her, the exam yielded this information. The white part of the eye is VERY bloodshot, not good and no one can tell us why this is happening. The ulcer has a lot of blood vessels going into the ulcer, this is GOOD, it means that it is trying to heal itself. But the one medicine that we were using she changed to drops and on Saturday she got the drops every hour. Then on Sunday she was to get the drops every two hours. Since that visit her eye has not been goopy with crap and it seems to have a lot more moisture in the eye.

Scott and I went fishing on Lake Texhoma yesterday. We had to leave our house by 4:15 am. Needless to say Millie and Sydney both spent the night with Gran-Gran and Pop-Pop. Great for them, they both were in their Heaven on Earth. The fishing was great, got home early afternoon and vegged out the rest of the day.

Saturday when Syd woke up that morning, Scott came in to tell me that Syd had a nose bleed in the middle of the night. He said she had dried blood all over her face and in her crib. He got her cleaned up. While we were sitting outside chatting with Scott's friends, Syd was playing and her nose started to bleed again. Want to know the hardest thing to do in the world. Try and hold a 16 month old to stop her nose from bleeding. I finally decided to squirt Afrin up her nose on the side it was bleeding. This was ONE of the many ways they tried to get my nose to stop bleeding during the nose bleed of the Century. It worked, seems that the Afrin shrinks the blood vessels. I was probably the wrong thing to do, but hell it worked and I know she will be addicted to Afrin for the remainder of her life, but at least her nose is not bleeding anymore. (knock wood) I tell you what, when her nose was dripping blood, I just knew "that's my child".

We have also conquered the drama of being scared of Millie with the cone on her head. The first day Millie came home as a member of the cone head family, Syd was fine. The next day, she was scared shitless. So we went from, her eye is hurt to, she is wearing a party hat, isn't Millie silly with her party hat on. So, wearing hats at our house right now has been part of taming the fear in Sydney. We are doing pretty good. Just a few moments of anxiety on Syd's part when Millie scrapes the cone on whatever is in her way. She is going to bulldoze her way through. Watch out Pug with a Cone on her head! S-C-R-A-P-E!!

The Eagle has Landed

2006-05-30T14:47:00.000-07:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Take that as a HUGE sigh of relief. I have for the past 30 days, not that I have been counting or anything but, been in charge of the company I work for. Running the whole shooting match, all of it on my shoulders. Yes, pardon me I am going to gloat and become big headed for a moment. My Boss and his Wife left on the 1st of May and were in Zambia, in South Africa. Out in the bush, hunting big game, letting me stretch my management muscle for 30 days. And I have to say, I would say I passed with flying colors. We had a huge month in sales, the place did not burn down in flames, financially we are better than we have been in a few years and I held my shit together. I chose not to say anything on the blog just because I never know who is reading and it is not the best business sense to let it all hang out at times. After the fact watch out but during the time, I just felt it was best to keep it close to the cuff. Amazingly it was not as hard or taxing as I was expecting.

So, I did it and I am damn proud. Along those lines I have to give props to my husband for putting up with my ass for the past 30 days. Many times coming home late, (that is beginning to be the norm anyway), and just my mental exhaustion after the workday has made me into a pretty useless person most evenings. After playing Mommy for a few hours I was lucky to be able to put sentences together at times. It went well though, I feel when the time arises and he leaves again, (and it will happen), I will know it will not kill me and I have done it before so I can do it again. There were issues mind you but nothing that I could not handle, at times I just had to take a baseball bat and beat the hell out of the well oiled machine that could run itself but would jackup on me at times. (Metaphorically speaking that is.)

Secondly, today on the way to work I had to take Millie back to the vet. Her eye is worse, to the point of having an ulcer on the eye now. Not uncommon but also not good. After the exam the Dr. said probably what would be best would be for them to do a conjuctival flap, where they take the 3rd eyelid and sew it up to cover the ulcer to help it heal. I told him to do it, I am familiar with this from a former friend having major eye issues with her Boston Terrier. I got a call about an hour ago that once they put her under and they were able to look at the eye better that they felt due to the dry eye and the lack of moisture issues the conjunctival flap would probably not be the best option. The Dr. said that they can use a glue on the ulcer to help it heal and since she is having moisture issues covering the eye probably would only make it worse. Right now we are just trying to save the eye. The vision is just about gone in the eye, and in all likelihood she is going to lose the eye. It is killing me. It is very upsetting to think that she will be a one eyed dog. Mind you I know so many pugs that are one eyed, it is a risk of the bug eyed breed dog. And I am lucky that she has gone 12 years without any eye issues, many dogs have them from the very beginning. She is such a good dog, she has been wonderful during my stints of doctoring her eye. She sits and lets me wash it out and apply the medicine without fighting it. It just makes me sad to know that she is hurt. So, keep her in you thoughts please!

On a heart melting moment, last night when I put Sydney down for bed, I was patting her tummy getting her to settle down. She was singing ahhh, ahhh, ahhh, like she does when she is getting ready to go to sleep. I looked down at her and stroked her cheek and told her "I love you." She looked at me and said "Wuv you." That was the award winning moment of the day. It just made my world complete. It spoke volumes because it was the first time she said it back to me without being prompted to say "I love you."

Scott has worked his tail off the past few weekends. Between getting the house in order (still!) and building the shed and mowing the largest lawn in the world, well that is what he is saying! He should get more props than he does from me. Mind you, feed the tiger and he will attack...at least that is the way he is with me. I quote me crawling into bed last night at 8:30 PM and he coming in and saying, "You can't go to bed yet, I have new moves to put on you!" My answer of "yeah right, not gonna happen." Was countered by him saying "You haven't even seen them yet, they might be really good!" At that point I think I rolled my eyes. Sweet boy, and the sex drive of a 16 year old. Too bad he is married to an 85 year old woman.

Always at the worst time

2006-05-28T12:25:00.000-07:00

Friday night my parents were over, we had some dinner, they played with their Granddaughter, Dad and Scott worked on the shed that they have been building. I am sitting in the living room with Sydney, Mom, and the Dogs. I glance down a Millie, my 12 year old Pug. She has some goop or as we call it eye boogers in her eye. Normal for the Pug breed, like all the other characteristics that my dear husband hates about them. I go to wipe it out and Holy Shit the eye looks like utter hell. I grab her put her on the kitchen counter to get a better look. It is just caked with goo, and swollen looking, it is draining into her nose area because her nose is clogged with goo on the same side. I freak. I try and clean her off, grab the antibiotics that I have for the dogs and give her one dose. Of course it is 8:30 on a Friday night and the vet is closed. Yes, I could go to the 24 hour one but the one that is closest to our house, well they just suck. I have had a few instances with them and I hate them, they should be closed down, twice they have raped me for treatment that I have to go to my regular vet to have re-diagnosed and corrected. They just suck and writing and telling them so does nothing.

So, early yesterday morning, Millie and I head out to the vet at 7:30 am. We make the long drive to the vet that I just love, they are no fancy place they mainly cater to low income families, and they care like you would not believe. It is not the Ritz but let me tell you, my boy Pug Bucky almost died on me due to massive kidney stones. It was severe, they had him for about a full month in treatment at the vet and I paid, $ 1100.00. I paid $ 350.00 for the emergency visit the first time this was an issue and all they did was pass a catheter through him. He was in severe treatment at the vet for a month and had several surgeries. Needless to say he is known quite well at the vet.

Back to Millie sorry! So, we go and they first tell me she has glaucoma and it is an emergency and she needs to go to the eye clinic in Dallas, ASAP. Then they bring in the other vet to have a look and they re-asses the situation and then diagnose her with dry eye. We are now on drop treatment twice a day for the remainder of her life, but hell 12 yr old pug and this is the first eye issue we have, she is killing the odds on this one! So, after the eye stain, the drops to numb the eye to test her pressure, and her vaccinations, kill two birds there! We are home and hopefully her eye will get better soon. It seems a bit better and she can still see but the irritation has really got it angry looking. I am praying all works out for the best for her. Since I was in dog mode I then bathed all three of them yesterday and took my Dremel to the toe nails and all three had a day of beauty. I am still sore from bathing three dogs in the backyard. But they are some clean looking and fancy foot lookin' dogs right now.

Of course I have been through the , I neglect the dogs so bad now because I have a child and feel like shit. I swear it is always something that makes me feel like I am running from one place to the next trying to cover all the bases and I just cannot do it all. It fucking sucks.

Been to Costco this morning, had to stock up on Yogos and fruit chew snacks for the husband and the kid. I had to get coffee creamer for work, it should be a food group, coffee should be a food group I have decided. I just cannot function without coffee. On the way to the vet, I had to stop for coffee, thank God for the doughnut place that has the drive thru for coffee and donuts for the vets office.

Enjoy the extra day off from work, I am loving every minute of it!

Freaky things I just don't like

2006-05-25T08:02:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday my Mom on her way to work was passed by in the right lane by someone on a motorcycle. She said it was someone in an extreme hurry to get to work and during his lane change he lost control of his motorcycle. He went to the left of the highway, and his motorcycle went to the right. The guy was able to get up from the wreck and limp away. My Mom said this happened right in front of her, she said everything was fine on her end just a bit shook up. A miracle that he did not get run over by the traffic on the highway or hurt worse than his limping. The lady that was behind her tapped her bumper but she said there was no damage. She did not go over and see the driver of the motorcycle, she said there were many people who were helping him and called for medical attention.

Yesterday on my way home from work, I passed another person on a motorcycle who had lost control on a hill and was laying hurt on the sidewalk. When I passed all I saw was a man laying down swaying back and forth on the ground in pain. A motorcycle 3 feet away crashed on the sidewalk, a group of people huddled around him as they are waiting for medical attention. I just don't get the point of riding something where you are offered no protection whatsoever. If you are a fan of the motorcycle, Great for you, I pray that you will remain safe while riding your motorcycle. Personally, I hate them, despise them and I have many many friends that ride them and I fear them. The wound of Bonnie's death in September is still fresh for me. The long weekend coming up has me rehashing the phone call I got on Labor Day Weekend, the one where I was told she was killed. Maybe it is the long weekend, maybe it is the accidents I have seen, maybe it is my husband trying to deal with losing a co-worker. Maybe it is everything or nothing but the past few days have been hard thinking about death all over again. It just can be a bit overwhelming at times. But, I plug along.

On a happier note...

Yesterday Sydney was mad because after throwing the hand held Yatzee game twice on the tile floor I took it away from her. If you cannot play with it nicely then you lose it. She in turn is pissed, oh so mad at me and goes to our dresser that has handles that you pull out on to open the drawers. She takes the wire that makes the handle and proceeds to bite it out of anger. Yeah, it was funny. We also tried to run/climb up the stairs twice yesterday. We sat her on her tile and told her no going upstairs. After the second time-out she lost interest, all the while, while I was telling her "You go up the stairs, you have to sit on the tile and do nothing." Tonight, I could be in for 20 times up the stairs and on the tile. Who knows, and now, yes now I have the BRILLIANT idea to think about potty training. She will sign when her diaper is wet, I can ask do you need clean pants, and is beginning to tell me yes when she does. I am going to get the potty and introduce the concept, I could be attempting to climb Everest without ever having set foot on a mountain...this could be good or really bad and it could go downhill really fast. Stay tuned for potty training/trauma as events unfold. You know, I am just going to go with the flow, no pun intended, if it works it works, if not we stop for a few months and try again. What the hell!

Long weekend ahead, can you smell it? And, wouldn't you opt to try to repair the part on the air conditioner first before spending 6-9K on a new unit? The A/C guy just left with me instructing him to try and fix it first even if it is a few 100 bucks or so, I quote "Once we do this there is no guarantee that it will not break again." Yeah, sounds like every other repair man I have dealt with, I just am not up to spending that kind of money yet if I can get another 3-6 months out of the current unit. Call me a money grubbing whore, yeah I am, but fuck, give me a break.

Not liking this reality

2006-05-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

I am about to post about something that happened on Sunday. My husband has made a quick post about this on his blog. Ever since all the news came flooding in, it pretty much has occupied my mind and I know has bogged his down with unimaginable sorrow and just the inability to process such horror. On Sunday, after a long weekend of shed building, kid toting and just your random weekend stuff we are jerked back into reality that a co-worker of my husband's has been murdered in her home. At first the information that we were getting was so sketchy and the name of the supposed victim was wrong in the gossip train that was running rampant. By the time the 10:oo news hit the airwaves the victim's name was stated on the report and it was a co-worker of my husband's. I guess we never adapt to death, but one can rationalize an accident to it being "their time to go." But how to you rationalize a murder? A question we often ask ourselves but never in a situation where it can touch you close to home. I never met this woman, but I have listened to my husband speak of her starting on Sunday night, the on-going theme I hear from everyone who knew her was that she was just so nice and sweet and would not ever hurt anyone. She had a long job history with my husband's employer, over 17 years, she was a kind woman. It is so tragic that this family has been robbed of their dear family member.

There has been no news made public in regards to this case, no arrests been made, nothing other than an obit in today's paper. I hope that as this case progresses the news is made public and I hope that they find the killer of this dear woman.

Bring back the slam book

2006-05-23T08:31:00.000-07:00

I had this thought yesterday as I surfed Classmates.com. Yes, I am a Gold Standard Member. Yes, it is really a throwback and possibly I want to relive my great days of neon pink and yellow, the blue streaks in the hair and the hair bands when I believe that music was at its best. Maybe it is my shallow way of hanging on to my youth. But as I surfed and looked at the names I so wanted them to include a Slam Book. Does anyone remember the slam book, or am I talking out of my ass here? I know girls will remember them better than guys. They were the books made up of notebook paper where people had their names on them and each person wrote something about the persons name titled on the page. The catch, each person who wrote something had a number tied to their comment so you could go back and see who was responsible for each comment.

Many a feeling was hurt during the slam book era, especially mine. I can remember this being a moment in my life where I finally called someone out on their comment. One person in particular wrote that I was "Cheesy". Yes, the horror of being called Cheesy when you are in the 7th grade, how would I ever make it in life because Orleen called me Cheesy! I just could not believe what I read, so I asked Orleen, "Why did you write I was cheesy in the slam book?" She actually looked embarrassed to be called out on her comment and from that point on never wrote anything negative about me that I could find. This whole memory long as it is, made me think yesterday why not have a slam book on classmates.com where we can address classmates from our past. I would love to know why Cindy was such a bitch. I would love to ask, "Why such a bitch to me? What did I ever do to you to make you call me such mean and hateful names?" And all the other 20 people that called me names. But then I think, are they worth it? Do I think that they have done valuable things with their life? No probably not. Half of the people that were mean to me are not even on classmates.com. Why you ask, my guess, they cannot afford a computer, or do not have a job where they even know how to operate one. Yeah, call me cheesy, but you know what? 19 years later, I will be the one calling you cheesy because I put forth the effort to advance in life and did not give up at the age of 14. Bitter still, no just able to see the whole picture for what it is. Makes me think about these kids that come back and shoot up schools or fellow classmates because they were teased. Yeah, so was I but my Mom told me early on in life, there is always someone who is not going to like you, that is life. Better to try and understand that now than to walk around and always have your feelings hurt.

I was fortunate in my high school years, in a sense that I moved during my sophomore year in high school. I left my old life behind and the people that I had gone to school with since kindergarten. Moved to Texas with no history, clean slate. Moved to a state that each and every person I met worshiped me for being 6'1" tall, went from being a freak to a jock overnight. Strange to get to walk both sides of the fence. I miss my friends from my geek days the most, I only had 3 really good friends from high school here in Texas that I really care about today, but the friends I had right before I moved to Texas are the ones I still wonder about and miss still to this day. Cheesy, yep and that is me, and I would not have it any other way. Orleen was right and I was wrong in seeing it as the bad thing, it just takes 19 years to get there.

The Dinner

2006-05-19T07:18:00.000-07:00

Wednesday nights dinner was beyond being able to put into words. The food was great, but I think what I liked more than the food was the people we got to meet and the conversation. We met Dotty Griffith and she also had a friend of hers join us. He used to own 1/2 of this magazine. I did not find this out until we had left that evening. He had mentioned what he did and I did not grasp it the background noise was too loud. When we left Scott then told me he had owned 1/2 of the magazine and sold it a few years ago. Needless to say he has done QUITE well for himself. We went to Brio Tuscan Grille. And this is how things work when you go with a food critic...you EAT A LOT, and DRINK A LOT. Dotty told us that this is how it works, everyone has to get something different from the menu. She has to try everyone's item and we are allowed to try anything of hers we care to. We will have drinks, appetizers, a main course and dessert. (And then off to the bathroom to puke!) We had two bottles of wine with only three people drinking. We ordered two appetizers, we had the fried calamari and the beef carppacio. I selected the beef, it was really very good, my one suprise's for the evening, beef carppacio is raw sliced beef, yes raw never seen any heat source unless the plate serving the meat has just been taken out of the dishwasher. Raw, and I am not into raw meat, but I selected it and it was good. It had a very clean taste and truthfully it did not taste like anything. The aoli they served with it and the mixed greens were really good. It was very cleansing to the pallet.

On to this main course, everyone at the table orders an entree'. I had the grilled lamb chops because lamb in an Italian setting sounded very interesting. Scott had the wood planked grilled salmon, Dotty had the Shrimp and Lobster Garganelli Pasta, and Michael our other dining companion had the grilled center cut-filet. Then we also had the straw and hay pasta dish. The waiter miss keyed my order and I got pork chops, they worked to correct that and get me the lamb chops, they let us keep the pork chops also. We had a TON of food. I had all that was left, which was 4 containers full packed up to take home.

Then we moved to coffee and dessert. We had the trio dessert, it was three desserts, a cheesecake that had been encased in a sugar creme-brulee like sugar topping. Then this dessert also had creme brulee and a warm chocolate torte with a scoop of vanilla gelato. It was just so much food. All the food I brought home I took to work on Thursday and 4 of us ate it for lunch and we still had one meal left. TONS OF FOOD. It was spectacular and I would really eat there again. The location was very nice, parking was a hassle but we figured it out and tons of shopping right out the front door. It is located in an open air mall. It was an experience that I am not likely to forget. I would love to have a job like that! I have to find my food business niche.

Someone just e-mailed

2006-05-18T12:39:00.000-07:00

Me this....

That is nasty baby....just nasty. I will not post the rear view, but let me just say I think you can say we have a man thong here in action. Gross...

And then I read about this in the paper. Who would want to smell like Play-doh? I do have to admit as you scroll down the page, the marshmallow shooter they had..that looked like some fun shit.