Here and then they are gone

You have to recall your blogger password in order to post...duh! SO maybe that is why it has taken me years to get back to blogging, or maybe it is because I feel so out of control due to everything around me that I need it?! I mean with FB and all who blogs anymore? Maybe I need to...

I went back and read the last post that I wrote, WOW, that was over a year old. Last time I wrote Haley was still here. Haley died last year. She lost her very brave battle with cancer. She got to have her Disney trip to Walt Disney World, and was a Princess in the kingdom that dreams do come true! The photos of her are amazing, the loss was devistating, something that even today will knock me to my knees. I pray for Kristin and Richard for comfort in the loss of Haley, because as a parent I just cannot imagine the pain that they must feel. I feel so much guilt complaining about the day to day problems I have with Syd and what we deal with. Knowing that in a heartbeat they would trade places. I should be grateful for what I do have. Be gracious, be gracious, be gracious!

Sydney is 5, wow, it seemed we were just turning 1 months ago. She has grown into this "person" with opinions and ideas that crack me up, but she still has the will of an army. So we try new tactics to get our point across, I am sure there are many videos of me in the local Wal-Mart beating some ass of Syd because she refuses to follow the rules. Yes, that would be me, I am that woman. Nothing makes me feel like a failure more than my 5 yr old!!! Sunday I was an "ugly monster." I am thinking of getting business cards that state that as my title. I am told by others that she is "wonderful, and so polite, and such a joy." These are not the key words I would pick when I would have to describe what I feel about her at times. More like, trying and head strong, and makes momma want to drink...yowza!

Sex toy parties STILL rock the house! I have decided that I cannot do it all, no matter what I want to tell myself, so Tastefully Simple has ended it career with me this year. I was sad/happy to see it go. I still love the prodcuts but as for the show part of it, I was done and over that long ago. I love my FYP parties like you would not believe and I get so much more out of them overall. It is hard to explain but I know that I still love it and I have to do what is right for me right now. That is all that I have at this moment.


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