Just print this out and give it to the hospital when I am committed

My husband has the innate goal in life to drive me insane, I am convinced of this. I am a planner, a set a schedule and stick with it type of gal. My husband will inquire "What do we have planned for this weekend?" Using my secret decoder ring, this translates to "What do you have plans to do, and which part of these functions require my attendance?" Weekend plans change from day- to-day it seems. Yesterday he was going to the baseball game, that is fine, we just had a minor glitch in the "plan" because he needed to leave for the game before I got home from work, normally we would drop Lil Miss off at my parents house until I was able to retrieve her. We are talking about a 15-30 minute time span between lapse in parents. Well, said parents are out of town still. What to do? What to do? I suggested on SUNDAY, to bring her by my office, and I will keep her until it was time for me to leave, no biggie I have this option in life, I am the boss. Plus, I work about 10 minutes away from the baseball stadium. He has to travel in this direction anyway! Plan set, I am on go, I am ready getting things set, getting my mind "right" with the plans. Monday comes, husband still on board with plans, drop baby off with Mommy, go to game.

I ask Tuesday night, "your still dropping her off to me, right?"

Husband: "Oh, yeah I think so, gotta call so-in-so, make sure he can meet early so we can tailgate."

Me: "You told me you were going to call him Monday."

Husband: "Yeah, I forgot, I will do it tonight. It is going to be a roaster out there. It was 102 today and, well it is going to be fucking hot."

Me: "Yep."

Wednesday morning after dropping off Lil Miss at school, call husband.

He says "Not so sure I am going to be dropping her off, I might just wait until you get home to go. It is going to be so hot!

My response, "Whatever, just tell me what you are going to do. "

"Well I have to call so-in-so and make sure he will be there early."

"I thought you were doing that last night, like you said you were going to do it on Monday." "Well, I left him a voice mail already today, and he has not called me back yet, I can't do anything until I hear back from him."

"From the call you made TODAY, right?"



Get a call around 10 am, "I am going to drop her off, probably around 4."

"So you got a hold of so-in-so?"

"Yeah, were going to meet early and tailgate. It is going to be so fucking hot tonight."

"Where are your seats?"

"Center field, staring directly into the sun."

"Wow, that sucks, you might want to consider that next time you want to buy the mini-season ticket pack. I mean. we live in Texas and have for how many years? Did you not think that.."

cut off by husband"I am not buying this next year."

"Oh, good, you have not gone to many of the games."

"I didn't pick this game, going in the fall and spring is one thing, it is so hot right now!"


"I don't think I will be staying for the whole game, it is going to be so hot."

I think we established it was going to be hot. She did get dropped off, much drama in the process, was told a few hundred times more how "less than enthused" he was for going to the game as the day progressed. I keep thinking there is $ 100.00 we could have spent on something else than a mini-season ticket package. He did go, and was home by 9:30 PM. Asked if he saw the whole game, laughed and said, no left during the 6th inning. It was HOT.

Dear husband, he is always like this, and the source of his wife's constant state of rage, pick a plan, stick with it and proceed. We will pick something to do, talk about it and then 50 times before the time, change our mind, yes I am doing it, no now I am not. In the end...he always does what he originally planned to do. The one time I don't assume it will turn out that way, will be the time it bites me in the ass.

Oh BTW, did you hear it is hot as fuck out there....


At 9:09 AM , Anonymous Crazy-Ass Husband said...

It's still hot. Really sucks. As far as my incessant waffling is concerned, I am trying to get in touch with my feminine side. I figure, if I act like a woman, maybe I can understand them more. Ba-dum bump, tssh. I'm here all week!


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