Date night...Can it happen?

Friday is now upon us and on my way to work this morning my husband and I were in our daily commute conversation. Seeing how he at 7:00 AM each morning has already been at work for 1 1/2 hours, he is usually much more "into" his day than I am at this point. He offers the option of us going out tonight, go see a movie and possibly dinner. I knew that nights out would not be as prolific as they were before sans child, but, since my parents have been gone and things have been so crazy I jumped at the chance for a night out.

During my ride to work, I am listening to the radio, each station is peppered with stories of the goings on on the Gulf Coast. So many people are calling in and telling their horror stories and how they are in our area and living 6 to a motel room, they have only photos, and a change of clothes. As these stories pour out of my radio depression sets in. Being a new mom by the time I settle in for the evening watching the news is the last thing on my agenda. So my information on the situation has been very limited. I will watch a 5-10 minute segment here and there, and surf the net looking at photos, always feeling like I am about to vomit from the utter horror.

By the time I make it to work I have talked myself out of going out for the evening. I start to play the "what if" game in my head and pretty much put myself into a full blown panic attack. I fear the ramifications of this whole disaster. Each and everyone of us will be effected in some way if we have not already. And I am not just talking about the prices at the gas pump. I talk to my husband and we decided to take the night and go ahead with said plans. Just for the fact to give my mind a rest. Not being busy and pre-occupied can be a killer on my anxiety. I want to sit and watch the television but I feel so lost and helpless and crying does not help anyone. I think the photos of the babies there are what kill me the most. I just imagine myself in the same situation and I can say I would have no clue how I would react and do not feel I am above looting for food for my child.

So, I chose to go out tonight and see The 40 Yr Old Virgin, I need the dose of humor. Then go grab a bite to eat afterwards. Syd will entertain her grandparents like only she knows how. Giving everyone a break from reality even if it is for a few hours. How lucky I am.

I think back after 9-11 since this is the only thing I have to compare this to, and after 9-11 to me it seemed like we were so united for even just a short period of time. America was bound by the Red, White, & Blue. People seemed a bit kinder in traffic. People were a bit nicer when you were out. We all were grieving. This time I feel a sense of division. I feel such a wave of wanting to blame someone. I have heard stories about how funding has been ignored for the levees in New Orleans. I keep thinking what good is this doing NOW? I don't want to start blaming anyone, but please, please remember, there were other people in office that could have made these changes to the levees long before 2005. I too am just as frustrated with the seemingly slow response to help the victims and get them out of the area or at least food and water. But I, living in my HOUSE, with WATER, FOOD, and FAMILY have NO CLUE what it is like trying to get into those areas. Blaming someone does not get them help faster. There will be plenty of time to do this and I am sure plenty of people will be crucified for their "negligence." At times I just want to stand up and scream.