Saturday

"Baby proofing....You motherfucking whore"

I am in the kitchen with my daughter making my father his birthday cake, well the out of the box best damn dessert you can make now that you have a child and only 5 minutes to dedicate to that type of stuff. My husband is finishing up the task of baby proofing the last three drawers in the bathroom and two cabinets left from the marathon of baby proofing last weekend.

I stand and stir the mix talking to Syd and not more than 10 feet away we here every 4 letter word ever known to man. I cannot tell you how many times we heard " Oh you Motherfucking Whore!" I just look at little Sydney, chewing on her sippy cup, innocent to the words flying out of her Daddy's mouth. I look at her she smiles and I say "earmuffs." My poor child, if she did wear earmuffs for each 4 letter occurrence, she would never hear the sound of her parents voices. She would probably develop a hearing loss. Mommy is not innocent to the four letter banter, I work in the construction industry damn it! I was probably hired over 10 years ago because of my amazing poetic ability to out cuss any man that walks into our office. My parents are SOOO proud.

I can so see it now, Sydney coming home, how was school today Syd? "Fuck it was hard as shit, how the hell did you think it would be you mother fucking whore?"

Can't wait, can't wait.

2 Comments:

At 7:28 AM , Blogger Masked Mom said...

Wish I could be there! I know it's probably a guaranteed ticket to Hell but I could never really work up a lot of energy for the fight against profanity. We kind of viewed it as inevitable and focused on when and where it was okay to use it, not if. Of course, there have been slip-ups but I still think it was the better way to go. (Lazy Mom, I am.)

 
At 12:05 PM , Blogger momyblogR said...

How Hysterical! Mine are out of the baby-proofing stage but how clearly I remember the days!! I too at one point feared cauliflower ear for my kids.

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home