Wednesday

The Meltdown

I knew it was coming. I could feel it in my toes. I knew I would not make it through yesterday without it happening. And boy oh boy did it ever hit with vengeance. Our neighbor came over to get his dry-cleaning, Scott picked it up for him, he did not know if he would make it home in time to get it and he is going out of town, long story, but we are just good neighbors like that. He came and got it, we were there in the kitchen and he said, "this sucks man." Scott, said "yeah dude it does." Then neighbor said "the house sure is getting empty." We then all went outside I was trying to play with Syd and pre-occupy my mind with other things. But, there was more talk about us leaving and I excused myself with time to feed the kid. I went into the house, heated her some dinner in the micro, and lost it.

I stood in my kitchen wanting the four walls to embrace me and hold me there as part of the structure. It is amazing how a small space can encompass so many memories. To say it hurts is an understatement. I feel like my heart is breaking and I know better is coming along the way, but leaving is hard. Plus, I don't like change, remember me? Yeah the one who freaks when things change. You would think I was a terminal 3 yr. old. (According to my therapist, children at the age of 3 do not function well with change).

So, now I sit at the computer in our office for probably the last time in this house. And think, try to think, try to get a grasp of my emotions, my tears, my self. Maybe I am making more out of this than it really is, but this house marked my becoming an adult. If I have to put a marker in my life of at this point I became an adult it would be the day I signed the papers on this house. Making that BIG step.

Dear Homebuyer-

Welcome to you new home. I say home because that is what we are leaving behind. We built this house, we picked the lot, the floorplan, the carpet, the countertops, the flooring. We built not knowing what the next 7 1/2 years would encompass more that what we picked out. You have chosen wisely in your choice of places to live. We wish we could take our neighbors with us. I hope you achieve the friendships with them like we have. They are good people. They are always willing to lend a hand, time, or a smile if needed. They have watched our house for us while we have traveled, celebrated milestones in our lives and become part of our extended family. I hope they grace you with the same open arms. You may not like the choices we made in picking wallpaper, carpet or flowers to decorate the house, but each choice was done out of love for the home we created. It may look like a structure of bricks to you but behind that blue door is 7 1/2 years of memories that will make you laugh, cry, and think.

My Husband proposed to me in the hallway of this home. This was the first home our Child lived in. This was the place were we started becoming a family. We had graduation parties, birthday parties, Christmas parties, and lets just get drunk parties here. A lot of love was encompassed between these walls. I hope this home provides Your family with the foundation to grow as a happy family.

We bid you Peace, joy and happiness.

Welcome Home

7 Comments:

At 7:44 PM , Blogger Yeah, him. said...

I'm not good with change myself, but good luck in yours...

And here's hoping that wherever you end up becomes a new home for you.

 
At 7:21 AM , Blogger New Texan said...

Great post.

 
At 9:59 AM , Blogger Little Miss said...

Oh sweetie, I feel your pain! Leaving Iowa was like that for us. Tormenting to say the least. (and jealous of the new people living in MY house!)

you'll create new memories in your new place, and you'll grow to love it just as much as we love our new place.

 
At 2:37 PM , Blogger Masked Mom said...

Change is always Big Scary--hang in there, though, and once you're over that hump you'll find it was all worth it.

And don't be too hard on yourself for the meltdown--you're juggling a heck of a lot at the moment, of course it's going to be overwhelming!

 
At 6:29 AM , Blogger TL said...

Dan-

Thanks for making me feel that I am not the only strange one about change. It is nice to know I am not alone here!

Steve-

Thank you, coming from you that really means a lot. Really!

Little Miss-

I keep telling myself new memories to come, just stay tuned!!! Thank you!

Masked Mom-

You are a Super Mom because you always know what to say to make me feel better!!! Thank you too!

 
At 5:30 PM , Blogger nita said...

you're making me cry!

i wrote a note to the CHILDREN that bought our last house (for 350K, welcome to new england) but i was very glad to leave our asshat neighbor behind. i'll bet those kids are kinda pissed at us :)

happy trails darlin. you make the place home

 
At 6:37 AM , Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

What a wonderful post. Congrats on your Perfect Post award. You deserve it!

 

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