Observations at the grocery store
I don't claim to be the world's best parent, in fact I am far from it. We have been dealing with hitting for the past few weeks, yesterday it was kicking. We deal with the hitting with the time-out. I just cannot reason with telling a child to not hit and to spank for hitting. It does not mix to me. BUT, I will spank. Yesterday I did, I still feel like shit for it but it was deserved. Yesterday when I got home from work, I was on the couch with Syd and Daddy. Syd started to kick me three times, we both told her to stop it was not nice. She did it again, and I told her I was going to pop her and I did, on the leg I slapped her leg, her world crumbled and she had tears spring to her eyes immediately. She cried and Daddy told her to tell Mommy she was sorry, the response "no!" She did tell me sorry and we hugged and made up. I feel like shit, I know it was the right way to handle that situation and it is over, but I still hate that I had to do it. Last Saturday she was pinching, I pinched back, she cried, we have yet to pinch again. But the damn hitting thing, I gotta find another way to tell this 17 month old to not hit without hitting her back. My next research project on the net!
ANYWAY! My point, today at Kroger, I am shopping and there is a couple with their child who is younger than Syd, probably about 13 months old. She is looking at the poptarts on the lower shelves and her Father is there watching her, and each time she touches the items on the shelves he slaps her hand. He grabs her hand and slaps it. I saw it happen 5 times. I wanted to cry. Why oh why can't he put her in the buggy seat and give her something to hold and occupy her time with. Why not re-direct her to something else. Why is she allowed to walk the isle if she cannot touch. Everyone else is touching. It was heartbreaking. Over and over, slap. I probably should have said something but I was gutless and just walked on. I came home and told Scott and just still feel like crap for not doing something. The little girl never cried but it still makes me feel bad.
Some people should not be allowed to have children.
posted by TL @ 8.7.06
4 Comments
4 Comments:
This is such a sticky subject--the guy in Kroger was totally over the edge--he was punishing a kid for being curious--that so doesn't make sense at all to me. Like you said--redirect. The thing that worries me most about it is I've always thought of spanking as kind of a last resort--the big guns, so to speak, something to be saved for rare occasions (like when you're being repeatedly kicked and nothing else has gotten her attention, for example). If you bring out the smacking for what is normal childhood behavior (especially in one so young as the Kroger Kid), what do you have left for TRULY drastic situations? The kid eventually becomes desensitized to it, it's useless and where do you go next? And, also, if he's willing to repeatedly smack even her hand in the middle of the grocery store what the hell is he doing (or going to eventually do) when no one's looking?
As for Syd's hitting issue: I have no advice but I would like to tell you that I have seen tons and tons of kids that age go through that phase and almost none of them ended up on the Most Wanted List. I hope it's a comfort to know you aren't there alone. :)
I agree there MM. Last resort definately and for some kids spankings are not needed. Hopefully we will be one of them but I bet we will be passing a few out here and there as we grow.
It helps! Thanks, I know I am not the last one that will deal with the hitting. Today has been a perfect day with her, such a joy and so loving. The good and the bad right!
I wonder if the hitting is from being around other kids? Little Man doesn't hit at all yet (that will change in a couple of weeks I am sure). But we go to story time for 30 a week, if we are lucky I try to get him to it twice. But I wonder if he'll pick that up once he is around children his age more and more?
We are going through this with our two year old right now. We are forcing "time out" with her. It worked so well with my other two kids, but this one is just too...what's the word? (nevermind, calling her a little shit won't do anyone any good--so scratch that!)
anyway, my point is this: if you are prepared to stand your ground (even holding her in time out if necessary AND staying in control), then that's the way to go. Tiny and I battle each day, but each day gets a little better because she'll cave before I do. I know it sounds harsh, but it has saved me from spanking--because I too did that with her once, shocked us both. I know how you feel. Trust me.
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