Call Ripley's Believe it or Not

I have a tendency to acquire strange illnesses. I have not a clue why but I have done this all of my life. I have had things that I have not heard others of having making me feel like a freak of nature. In college I had to go to student death (health, If you went there you would so understand) because I had an infection in my belly button. Yes, I said belly button. It was strange I tell ya. So after they swab the belly button and send it off to be looked at they give you some ointment to put in the belly button and you go on your way. I knew something was wrong because my belly button was painful and bleeding. Only I would get a belly button infection. I also had impetigo, (SP) some childhood thing like chicken pox; I had that too, chicken pox. I also had pin worms, lice, pneumonia, and all the other assorted illnesses children have when they are little. Adulthood has not been kind either. Mind you, I almost died from a nose bleed in January. Yes, really, not kidding. I was bending over to get a pot out of my cupboard to make some noodles and my nose started to bleed. I at the time was past my due date with my daughter and was scheduled to be induced the next morning. I had to go to the hospital in an ambulance and they performed an emergency C-section on me to get the baby out so they could operate on my nose. It was a freak thing, probably one that would never happen again but it scared the shit, if not more, out of my husband. The whole situation was unbelievable. If I did not live it and have the Dr.'s that worked on me tell me, "We have heard of this but never experienced it." I would not believe it myself.

So, would it surprise you if I told you I have a viral infection on my tongue? I have not a fucking clue where or how I got this. Last Friday my throat started to hurt, Saturday and Sunday it got worse, on Monday my tongue got this freakish look to it and yesterday I got in to see the Dr. It is not strep. They swabbed it, and took my blood. Gave me Valtrex, yes it is the genital herpes medication, (no I do not have genital herpes) and told me to go to one of the old time pharmacies, I needed a compound pharmacist. They made up this elixir of benyadril, Maalox, prednisone(steroid), lanacane, for me to swish and gargle with. It tastes utterly disgusting. I refuse to swallow it. If I do I will throw up. It numbs my whole mouth, and makes eating tolerable. It does work but takes like ass. UGHH! Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit.

I hope that Sydney does not follow in Mommy's footsteps in freakish illnesses. I swear she probably gave me this viral mouth crap; she loves to stick her hands in my mouth and feel my tongue move all around. It is the MOST fun ever! Just ask her! She probably had some nasty stuff on her hands and it got on my tongue and presto-change-o... mouth virus.

What next???

Baldness in nostrils?


At 5:15 PM , Blogger nita said...

bald nostrils would be a good thing :)

is this 'geographic tongue' by chance? i've heard of that, at least!

At 8:30 PM , Blogger Kim said...

WOW!!! Never heard of such a thing. I hope you are feeling better and were able to enjoy your Thanksgiving! Miss you lots!

At 2:15 PM , Blogger Masked Mom said...

Bald nostrils doesn't sound like an ailment--it sounds like some kind of miracle cure for middle-aged men! You might be on to something...once you get the fungus off your tongue, the tree (of whatever size you choose) decorated, the house sold and all your stuff packed, you should really get on that. :)

At 2:52 PM , Blogger TL said...


Thanks, after I posted it, I thought yes it WOULD be a good thing, because I cannot tell you how much I hate riding in the car with my Dad when he decides that at that time, while driving, that would be a GREAT time to pull out his nose hairs. It drives me fucking batty!

Me either but go figure, I got it. We could play illness bingo and I would probably win.

Yes, I should because I have nothing better to do! Your so right and silly me!!! haha!! The wonderful things about Mothers, we can say what we have to do and another Mother knows that what has been said is only a scratch at the surface of what we really have to do.


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