That's not the way you do it!!!!

I am watching Paula Dean on TV Food Network, she is cutting carrots and she is not holding the knife right. It is bugging the hell out of me. I ask, how can you have a televised cooking show and not know basic knife skills?? I took knife skills in cooking class because I thought that was the best place to start to "learn" how to cook...better. I took class from Carol Ritchie, she is a local television cooking celebrity here in the DFW area. This class was a gift last Christmas from my husband. It was probably the best gift I have ever gotten. It is literally the gift that keeps on giving.

I took this class and Carol and I hit it off right at the start. She asked if I was a chef. I just about died. I told her no that I worked for a construction company. She and I then began talking more in-depth. Before I left class, she had told me about a conference that was coming a few weeks from then and that world renowned chefs would be attending. She told me to
e-mail her if I was interested in doing volunteer work for the conference.

At this time I happened to be off on maternity leave. I e-mailed Carol, she hooked me up with the coordinator, and I was off to pick what areas I wanted to work. This is how this past year I met Jacques Pepin and Martin Yan. I met some other popular chef's but unless you are enthralled with cooking like I am, these people would not really mean anything. After this three days of heaven for me, Carol asked if I would be interested in assisting her in her cooking classes. I jumped at that chance as well. So every now and again I get a call asking if I can assist in a class. This is so great because I get to take the class and learn, but not have to pay and get paid to assist. Carol has exposed me to many foodies in the DFW area. She has given me the opportunity to go to food events in the area and just expose myself more into this culture. I love it. The last event I went to was Taste of Arlington. This was great, it was local restaurants that had set up in the convention center and they were offering samples of their food and drinks. I had a great time, my husband was not able to attend with me, so I got some great bonding time with a dear friend of mine. That unfortunately will be soon moving away from me. This was so much fun for us both to eat, talk and just have plain fun together.

Now Sandra Lee is on the TV Food Network, she is annoying as hell. I like her concepts but she is just a freak. I cannot put my finger on but she annoys me. I still watch her though. She just looks like she has never eaten a full meal in her life. A bit strange to me. O.K. She just re-fried potato chips....Strange!! Have more fat into your diet!

I have had a lot of my dear friends inquire about my last post. I am doing better. Thank you, it means so much, you have no idea. I have been cautious in writing about all that has transpired. I wanted to be very open in my blog, but have read others bloggers that have lost their jobs because of their blogs. I have battled this when I am writing. I would love to give blow by blow details but I just don't know if that is the "right" thing to do. I don't want to run a smear posting, but I have a lot of thoughts and feelings that actions in the past have spurred my thoughts to be negative. Someone died in my life that I loved. I considered her a close friend of mine. A week after she died, I discovered that she was stealing health insurance from the company we work for. She also had another of my office employees getting free health insurance as well. This discovery was devastating. I went into a major tail spin. I was hurt beyond belief. I had no one to go to, to question. I had to terminate the other employee, that was very hard as well. Instead of being down one employee, I was now down two. Never mind that things were in mass chaos because when someone dies, you have no idea what was done or not done. I have amazingly muddled through.

I last Thursday and Friday got the accident reports and coroners report from the accident. Cause of death has been ruled as blunt force trauma. She was drunk. I am angry about this as well. I keep telling myself that she made this decision herself, she was an adult and responsible for her actions no matter if she was drunk or not. Thankfully, the accident ended her life as soon as she impacted the telephone pole. Reading this information has been disturbing, and I have been trying to deal the best way I know how. Never mind that I am still trying to keep focused in getting business done as usual. Trying to train two new employees at once has been...Exhausting? I also have my everyday duties as the office manager to attend to. Plus a few other hundred new ones that have happened since we have changed our internal processing a bit. It is a time for learning for me as well, and, I have been on the edge. Knowning that my therapy will soon start helps. It is re-assuring knowing that soon I will have someone to help me sort through all that has happened.

This week I hurt myself while sleeping...I still do not know how that happens, but by the end of the day, the stress had me so stiff I could not move my neck. It was like a cinderblock on my shoulders. I am better now, my loving, supportive, dear husband gave me a 90 min. Massage at a spa yesterday. That was SO needed. I am less stressed today. I still am having issues sleeping. I have to use a sleep aid. The massage therapist said I should have a warm bath and a glass of wine each night. I really am considering taking that into practice. I hate red wine but seeing the health benefits I am considering it. I feel like a less than adequate Mother and Wife because work and all that it has taken of me. I know that what does not kill us makes us stronger, and I question if I am making more of an issue of the whole thing. I guess really not because if I am feeling it, then it is an issue. I read about others that deal with so much more in life and question my ability as a human being. Am I being overly dramatic? I think not, but I hate drama, and try to have the least amount of drama in my life. It annoys the hell out of me to hear about people who just live in drama over and over. So much of it is self-imposed and if they would get their shit straight their life would be so much less dramatic. I know it makes no sense, but it does in my strange world.

So, the meaning of all of this. I am better. Not great but better. My husband and I had a great talk last night. I think I explained a lot to him of what my job entails. I think he gets a better picture of what I am dealing with. When he asks what he can do to make it easier on me, it just melts my heart. Just listening and being the man he is, makes me want to marry him all over again. I still hate his driving, but he is my dream man.

Today is great, tomorrow will be better, and soon I will be back to where I was, just stronger because I made it through.


At 10:47 AM , Blogger Masked Mom said...

The hurting yourself while you're sleeping reminds me of a Steven Wright routine: "My girlfriend asked me if I slept well and I said, 'No, I made a few mistakes."

Glad to hear your keeping afloat. Hope things ease up.

At 2:33 PM , Blogger Jen said...

I'm so glad that you are finding ways to fall head over heels for Scott over and over. That is so cool. And I am so happy for you about that.

On to the other... I hate that you've been put through the wringer on so many different fronts lately. Know though that it IS making you stronger, and therefore a better wife and mama. Syd and Scott are so lucky to have you.

At 4:36 PM , Blogger TL said...

Your kindness means the world to me. And yes, I do fall in love with him over and over. Especially when he plays with Syd, it can make my day over and over.

At 7:26 PM , Blogger Tacey said...

A) I'm totally jealous of all the foodie stuff you're getting to do. Not that I need to get involved in the foodie scene in my home town unless I want my BMI to be even more disgusting than it already is.
B) Only an amazing woman could survive losing a friend and then dealing with all this crazy aftermath crud you've had to handle. But even rocks erode when the waves beat on them long enough. Move your self out of the surf and give yourself a chance to rest and recuperate (emotionally, that is...); besides your hubby & your daughter, there are lots of us who love you and want to see you happy and well!

At 7:54 PM , Blogger rainbowponi said...

wow. tacey said some very profound things there. i feel inadecuate in comparison but i'll comment nonetheless. dealing with the death of a friend is hard no matter who you are. finding out a friend has betrayed your trust is like being stabbed in the heart. you are not insane to feel like you do. know that your emotions are a natural way of dealing with your feelings. there is no denying the tunnel you are in now but know that there is light at the other end.

At 6:48 AM , Blogger TL said...

Aww...your kindness makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Thanks, much needed this AM as I get hit with all hell when I enter the door at work. Hugs to you all!


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