Monday

Today I wanted to quit

Today from the moment I walked in the door at my job, I wanted to quit. I was so tired, exhausted, drained, and did not give a damn anymore. This was the first 10 seconds of my day. Pretty much it stayed the same from that point on. I need a break, I know I do, I can feel it in my bones. People say over and over, I need a break, I know for the first time in my life that I really do need and deserve one. The PROBLEM is that, right now it is just not possible. Like I have stated previously over and over, I am right in the process of training two new employees. The company I am working for also just in the last 20 days started to process the A/R in a bit of a different format. I am the only one that is able and allowed to be in charge of this process. Even the owner has no idea how to do this, mind you he cannot even log into our computer because he CHOOSES to be ignorant on this end of things. I just cannot imagine owning a company and having absolutely no clue on how to cut a check or run a payroll check..at least for yourself?! I guess that is why he has the manual check book...plus to drive me insane when I am trying to balance and all these manual checks are flowing in....I am TRYING to balance....it is just about impossible.

I was in a bad mood all day, it sucks, I feel bad for my employees, but they will get over it. I am not mean, but I just don't go out of my way to talk to anyone. That might be a good thing, but you would have to ask them. Anyway, about quitting, last night I watched the Tivoed (is that a word) Martha Stewart Apprentice. I watched this individual take the lead and when things got tough he wanted to leave, quit, bail out. I have these thoughts all the time, my difference, I NEVER voice it...out loud. In my head, I am screaming, yelling, writing it all over the wall...I QUIT! But then today, I was talking to my husband and I told him, I so want to quit, but it is not in my nature, I will fight this to the end. I will work myself to the bone. I will get it done, all of it, we will begin again and be better off. I WON'T QUIT..but I sure do wanna at times. I am not faulting this person on the show. I guess this is what makes us each different. I am pretty damn sure that I would not quit though. Well, I would for my family if something happened that I had to. But just because I did not want to do it anymore and it was hard...nope.

3 Comments:

At 2:19 PM , Blogger Masked Mom said...

I think you can, I think you can, I think you can...:)

Hang in there!

 
At 7:27 PM , Blogger Jen said...

"That which doesn't kill you..."

And remember, you won't ever get more than you can handle from The Big Guy.

Thinking 'bout you.

 
At 9:28 PM , Blogger Tacey said...

Today I wanted to escape... kind of like your desire to quit. I just wanted to get in the car and drive away from my messy house, my job, my life, and just vegetate somewhere for awhile. But I didn't. Just like you didn't quit, because we are strong women.

 

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