Tighter in the hips

I have a fear, one that I live with each day, one that I am sure many others live with as well. I am afraid of gaining weight. 4 years ago I had gastric bypass surgery and lost a huge amount of weight. I have since been able to maintain a healthy weight for myself and feel good about myself. Since all the events have transpired in September, food has not been my first priorty, and I lost more weight. It just seemed to dissapear without me even being aware. Anxiety would cause me to forget to eat, and if I did eat it would be very small portions because my stomach would get all in knots and I would not be able to get food down. Well, since my anxiety is under control and I am living life like everyone else, just going with the flow, my eating has returned. I do not eat very well during the day, I pretty much eat as I work and do not take time out to focus on a meal. But, other than that, the meds I am on make me hungry. I HATE IT. I have eaten a lot in the past few weeks. So much so, I know I have gained a few pounds and I am pretty upset about it. So today I decided I was going to be more aware of what I put into my body and focus on protein first, that is the golden rule for gastric bypass patients. Drink plenty of water to fill me up and to stay busy.

I also should take into consideration, last week I had that visitor that comes monthly. I had not had it the month previous because of stress I am sure and lack of food. My visitor like many others makes me VERY hungry. I will get the shakes from low blood sugar levels, something I just have to be aware of and make sure I am eating good food for myself.

I will make an effort to eat better food for myself. The past few days I have been better. I am eating more salads at lunch with protein in them, limiting the dressings, but making sure I do not starve myself. I still fit in my clothes, but my newly washed jeans seemed harder to button today and when I looked at myself in the mirror last night I could swear I just looked chunkier. I hope these meds are a short term thing. I really do not want to feel this out of control when it comes to food. It is always something isn't it?

I guess I better wrap this up, I am supposed to be working on gathering paperwork for an audit I have starting on Monday. I have a list of 0nly 17 items they are asking for, mind you each item is starting from May 31 to October 31, so each item 7 items each.... What a hassel but at least the damn copier is fixed. It broke last night at 5 pm when I was starting to really roll on this project...figures!