Three weeks from tomorrow...ALREADY?!

Tomorrow will be three weeks until Sydney turns gasp, gulp, tear.....one. I say this in the smallest voice possible because I am so hoping the days DRAG on. I so hope I never see the mountain that is one for her. I so want to take this past year and put it in a bottle and never let us pass this major milestone. I know it is just a freaking number but, the year as all Mothers know has F-L-O-W-N by. To some extent I still think I should be pregnant, Lord knows I am so glad that I am not, I love having MY body back thank you. But 1?! Come on! No it cannot be true. My parents are counting down the days because it means we can turn the car seat around. I have been voted to have the worst car seat around. It time and time again, if you are not careful with pinch the living shit out of Sydney and she will scream and cry. It has the ability to make you feel like the worst person in the world because you HURT.HER.FOR.NO.REASON, you TERRIBLE BEING YOU!!! I don't think turning the fucker around will make it easier, I have gotten to be pretty savvy at getting her in her seat because I do it everyday. I am pretty fast too. I also have seems to master the way to buckle her in without pinching her. This after I think 4 times doing it and feeling like the lowest piece of shit around. Everyone has done it at least once, when someone new does it I tell them, so she will get over it don't worry. Yeah it pinches her and she gets a little bruise but all of us have done it, don't worry she won't scream for long. I know the person still is feeling like shit, and I try to take the guilt away by telling them it is really ok she will live and forget it in 5 minutes or so.

The first time I did it, my parents were there and my Dad looked at me and asked "Did you pinch her?!" My Mom was there too and she looked at my Dad and asked "Why would she pinch her baby?!" Of course this making me feel even worse, I have to admit yes I did pinch her and this seat is a bitch to operate. It just goes downhill from there. I just hope she can go the next 3 weeks without getting the shit pinched out of her one last time before we turn the fucker around. I don't see how turning it around is going to prevent the pinching but everyone in my family thinks it will. Not me, I know it is the damn seat.

So, 1. What is more amazing than her turning 1 is that we did it. I just remember the overwhelming feeling the afternoon we got home from the hospital. I kept thinking, I know nothing about raising a child, why did they let me leave with this little tiny small person who depends on me for EVERYTHING. I think the combination of lack of sleep, pain medicine, and shock of having this baby was what kept me from losing my shit. I think back about it today and I can pretty much assure you I won't be doing it again. I loved each moment, but once was enough for me.


At 2:18 PM , Blogger Masked Mom said...

I so feel your pain--I had one turn (gasp!) sixteen this weekend! (And he's not even my OLDEST!) It's endlessly stunning to me how a single day can seem so long (especially at work) but a year (or sixteen) can pass so fast.

At 5:01 PM , Blogger Kim said...

I was so upset before Little Man turned one, I would cry just looking at him. But, amazingly enough, it didn't even phase me at his party which is what I was afraid of.

It does go by so fast. Just trust in God that you are keeping all the special memories in your heart and when something reminds of something she did or said it will feel like you are right back when and where it happened.

It is kind of cool now when people ask how old he is and I can say, "Oh he's a big one year old!"

At 8:40 PM , Blogger catbird said...

I can't imagine my little one turning a a year old! But yes, they grow so quickly...

At 7:07 AM , Blogger nita said...

make your own cupcakes. don't buy the store ones with tons and tons of sugar. and you don't have to use all the sugar that's recommended.

I hated watching my babe shake from the sugar. I still feel sick thinking about it...

and speaking of pinching, I managed TO PINCH HER LIP in her carseat. I was ready to just let her drive after that one...

At 7:58 AM , Blogger TL said...


It must be the law of work or something. The things that are precious and that we truly want to hold on to fly past and the crappy shitty things we hate drag on for an eternity.


Maybe I am just getting myself ready for the big event. Better to freak before than during right? I promise to work on getting Little Man's Birthday gift to him before he graduates college.

Don't blink, because it goes that fast. I am afraid that after year one the rest fly by faster than that one!

Perfect idea about the cupcakes. I cannot bring homemade ones to her daycare, they have these "rules" you know. But my Aunt gave me a great idea she said bring cool whip and food coloring and they can paint with it and eat it at the same time and it is very low sugar compared to other things out there.

I probably will make cupcakes for her home celebration. Now, I just have to find a recipe because I am a box mix whore.

Thank you for the pinched lip story. You ALWAYS know the right thing to say to make me feel better!!!

I love you Nita!!

At 11:10 AM , Blogger Sabrina said...

Hooray for one year...or maybe not!?! LOL I know at that 1 yr mark you feel like your baby is well, not a baby anymore! They grow up way to quick!


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