A zillion things to write about, but I only have 30 seconds to do it in

Now only 15 seconds. I have a million zillion things to write about, but am as usual lacking the time to do it in. Pretty much, I feel like I am failing at everything, and I am not writing this to throw my own pitty party. I just remain feeling overwhelmed with my job and all the stresses it gives me. More than I care to share here and I don't think this is the appropriate place to air out that type of laundry. But, fact is my job is beyond stressful and I have times where I tend to break under the pressure of it all. Maybe day trading is an option.

If you feel like your failing, then probably your home life is in the dumper too. Seriously, Scott does not get enough props especially from me for the shit I put him through. Pretty much I get to see about 3 hours of him each day, 1 1/2 of these hours also are with the kid around so you can see that most of that time is devoted to the kid cause you don't want to fuck them up because you have not had enough time in your life to dedicate to them so who suffers? Of course your spouse. Pretty much we talk more on the phone day to day than probably in person because Scott is great at giving me down time after we get Syd to bed. So then I am off to walk, do yoga or watch mindless tv to give myself a mental rest. No waxing poetic over musings of the day. Yes, I know we need to reconnect but I am sorry, exactly when does that fit into our schedules? Yeah right how is 2018? I think we can pencil something in.

So, Scott calls me this weekend and drops a bombshell on me. Seems a family member in our family is pregnant. A young family member that we all wished would not have taken this path in their young life but alas they have chosen to play adult games and then get the adult prizes that you win if you play these games. So, pretty much on Sunday it blew my mind. I feel sorry for the kid, angry too, but we still love them. So, I am trying to gather things up to send to the soon to be baby and new mommy. Do I approve, no but is it my place to pass judgement, no, but I will in my own mind I know. I don't really know how to deal with this, but I guess I have worked through the shock. I want to slap the crap out of the kids that have done this to their lives and tell them you have not a clue how much your life is going to change. That I at 36 still don't think I can do this job of parenthood most days. Maybe the key is to have kids when you are so young that you don't know any better and you don't stress about all the crap in life?! Maybe that is the way your supposed to do this?! Yeah, I am still working through this one.

The month of June cannot arrive fast enough. Kimmers is coming to visit in May for a family obligation but I get to reap the bennies of her and her family staying with us. As Steve would say, WOOT! Anyway, in June Kimmer's is coming back for a long weekend and we are going to have a girls weekend. And to top it all off we are going to see The Police, yeah I know you SO want to be us. Sure Sting will not be throwing his tantric knowing sweat all over me but I will be in the same building jamming to some great toons and having fun with my best friend. What more can a girl ask for?

Syd is great, well this minute she is, but in another minute she could have morphed into freak kid and be having a fit beyond belief. She is GREAT at fits, really if you need someone to train in fits I only charge $ 250.00 for the first hour and then $ 150.00 for each additional hour and it is a one hour minimum please. She is VERY independent which is GREAT, but it does not fit into my morning because really I do not have 30 freaking minutes in the morning to dedicate to potty time. Seriously this is how it goes: Mommy takes of the diaper and tells her to go potty, I have stripped her of all her clothes this way I don't have to try and do this later, see always thinking! Syd has to go and get her potty stool, (no you crazy bastard you CANNOT do it for her) and she has to open the door herself to the potty. Do not try and turn on the light for her, she must do this too. Then she has to get on the potty, yes this takes about 3 minutes of jacking around. And we sit on the potty and have to smile and be silly and tell mommy "Mommy I tee-tee!" And so Mommy says lets wipe and she has to get 5000 yards of toilet paper to wipe. I roll up what is not needed and she has to wipe and I then have clean up detail. Then we have to get off the potty and back on the stool then get off the stool and then go over to flush. And of course we flush about 7 times. And then we have to put the lid down "real soft" because I just about had a nervous breakdown every time she would drop the damn thing. So then we have to get our stool, take it to the sink, go back turn off the light and close the door to the potty. We then get on the stool get the soap and take 4 minutes to get soap out of the container mind you we have enough in our hands to wash an elephant. I have to turn on the water and we begin to rub our hands with soap. And we rub but have not put them in the water and while we are rubbing our hands together we have to make faces in the mirror at our self and shake our head back and forth. Not focusing on washing our hands. I can finally get her to wash the soap off but DO NOT GRAB THE HANDS AND PUT THEM UNDER THE WATER! I can after 5 minutes of rinsing get her hands and make sure all the soap is off. The I can give her the towel and let her dry her hands. Then I have to clean up the soap spill and bubbles that overflow from the sink from all the damn soap and water we have used for two small 2 yr old hands.

Now we can start getting dressed for school. I promise you, if you think grabbing her and doing it for her makes it faster, you do NOT have kids. So, I am going to go home now and start the morning when I get home. Hopefully by 6:45 tomorrow morning she will be done with potty time in the morning and we can start our day off nice and early.