He Will Know Why

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Still sorting it all out

I am still trying to sort things out from last week. Things about the accident still have me rattled. I learned of some more details from a lady I met this weekend, some really disturbing details that I will not relay here. I have not slept well, and after learning this it made it a bit more disturbing.

Saturday was another day of adventure for Sydney and I, we were out shopping for Father's Day and the Target that earlier this week had a dead body in the parking lot, and yes we moved to this town because it was safe! Caught on fire, while we were just two doors down in the Ross! We walked out and Sydney saw the fire truck along with the firemen in their gear and she just freaked and started telling me "no Mommy don't go into the fire!" my poor baby! I am afraid I have freaked her out a bit about the whole fire thing. Seems that someone thought it was a good idea to catch the carts on fire. Needless to say it caught the side of the building on fire too, along with the roof as well. Really smart people. Fucktards.

I am in a funk, just depressed. My head no longer hurts, which is such a relief, I had a migraine that was 29 days long, I started to think that I was imagining the pain and when it was gone I knew I was not crazy. But there for awhile I was starting to wonder what the hell was up. I am overjoyed that my head does not hurt.

I think this whole economy thing really has me depressed. The price of gas has me very concerned. The cost of everything really has me concerned. I am disapointed because I feel that consumers are being forced to absorbe the rising cost of everything and paying more but not making more and the math just does not work. People want to bitch and moan about consumer spending being down but how the hell can people spend when they are having to spend $75.00 a week just to get to work when it was only $45.00 last year? I'm no math genuis but even I can see that I don't have the extra money because I have to go to work and I need gas to get there, so that take most of the money. Something has got to give.

Closed Casket

This week has been hard. I guess harder than I have wanted to realize or accept and I guess harder than maybe it should be for me because it directly does not really effect me. Sunday morning, the owner of Sydney's school was killed suddenly by an a supposed drunk driver. Meredith Hatch was an avid cyclist tri-athlete, community activist for education and everywhere you looked she seemed to be involved. She was beautiful, kind, caring, resilient, smart, funny, passionate, full of life and now gone from this life and passed on to Higher ground. Leaving a husband, three boys aged, 12, 9 and 6. Two schools of staff that adored her and looked upon her with admiration and were honored to be lead by her and befriended by her. Her legacy will live on, forever, but her shoes will never be filled. Tonight was the visitation and this was the first that I have attended where the casket was closed. After seeing photos posted in the news broadcasts, I am sure that the accident was just too much for her body. She was training for another race in June, she had just completed an Ironman competition at Disney World last month. I don't think she knew the word can't, what a wonderful person to care for your child.

We were so lucky to have her develop the first school for Sydney to attend, my whole body aches for her family and the staff she has left behind. Tomorrow will be hard, as will the weeks to come as everyone comes to the realization that Meredith will not be coming back to us. I will miss her smile, she could light up a room. What a blessing we had, I wish I had another moment to speak with her, just to tell her thank you again for giving us such a wonderful place to take care of our child. Thank you Meredith Hatch for sharing part of your life with us, we will be forever change because of you. You will never be forgotten. God Speed.

Citizen's Fire Academy Graduation Video