The Eagle has Landed


Take that as a HUGE sigh of relief. I have for the past 30 days, not that I have been counting or anything but, been in charge of the company I work for. Running the whole shooting match, all of it on my shoulders. Yes, pardon me I am going to gloat and become big headed for a moment. My Boss and his Wife left on the 1st of May and were in Zambia, in South Africa. Out in the bush, hunting big game, letting me stretch my management muscle for 30 days. And I have to say, I would say I passed with flying colors. We had a huge month in sales, the place did not burn down in flames, financially we are better than we have been in a few years and I held my shit together. I chose not to say anything on the blog just because I never know who is reading and it is not the best business sense to let it all hang out at times. After the fact watch out but during the time, I just felt it was best to keep it close to the cuff. Amazingly it was not as hard or taxing as I was expecting.

So, I did it and I am damn proud. Along those lines I have to give props to my husband for putting up with my ass for the past 30 days. Many times coming home late, (that is beginning to be the norm anyway), and just my mental exhaustion after the workday has made me into a pretty useless person most evenings. After playing Mommy for a few hours I was lucky to be able to put sentences together at times. It went well though, I feel when the time arises and he leaves again, (and it will happen), I will know it will not kill me and I have done it before so I can do it again. There were issues mind you but nothing that I could not handle, at times I just had to take a baseball bat and beat the hell out of the well oiled machine that could run itself but would jackup on me at times. (Metaphorically speaking that is.)

Secondly, today on the way to work I had to take Millie back to the vet. Her eye is worse, to the point of having an ulcer on the eye now. Not uncommon but also not good. After the exam the Dr. said probably what would be best would be for them to do a conjuctival flap, where they take the 3rd eyelid and sew it up to cover the ulcer to help it heal. I told him to do it, I am familiar with this from a former friend having major eye issues with her Boston Terrier. I got a call about an hour ago that once they put her under and they were able to look at the eye better that they felt due to the dry eye and the lack of moisture issues the conjunctival flap would probably not be the best option. The Dr. said that they can use a glue on the ulcer to help it heal and since she is having moisture issues covering the eye probably would only make it worse. Right now we are just trying to save the eye. The vision is just about gone in the eye, and in all likelihood she is going to lose the eye. It is killing me. It is very upsetting to think that she will be a one eyed dog. Mind you I know so many pugs that are one eyed, it is a risk of the bug eyed breed dog. And I am lucky that she has gone 12 years without any eye issues, many dogs have them from the very beginning. She is such a good dog, she has been wonderful during my stints of doctoring her eye. She sits and lets me wash it out and apply the medicine without fighting it. It just makes me sad to know that she is hurt. So, keep her in you thoughts please!

On a heart melting moment, last night when I put Sydney down for bed, I was patting her tummy getting her to settle down. She was singing ahhh, ahhh, ahhh, like she does when she is getting ready to go to sleep. I looked down at her and stroked her cheek and told her "I love you." She looked at me and said "Wuv you." That was the award winning moment of the day. It just made my world complete. It spoke volumes because it was the first time she said it back to me without being prompted to say "I love you."

Scott has worked his tail off the past few weekends. Between getting the house in order (still!) and building the shed and mowing the largest lawn in the world, well that is what he is saying! He should get more props than he does from me. Mind you, feed the tiger and he will attack...at least that is the way he is with me. I quote me crawling into bed last night at 8:30 PM and he coming in and saying, "You can't go to bed yet, I have new moves to put on you!" My answer of "yeah right, not gonna happen." Was countered by him saying "You haven't even seen them yet, they might be really good!" At that point I think I rolled my eyes. Sweet boy, and the sex drive of a 16 year old. Too bad he is married to an 85 year old woman.


Always at the worst time

Friday night my parents were over, we had some dinner, they played with their Granddaughter, Dad and Scott worked on the shed that they have been building. I am sitting in the living room with Sydney, Mom, and the Dogs. I glance down a Millie, my 12 year old Pug. She has some goop or as we call it eye boogers in her eye. Normal for the Pug breed, like all the other characteristics that my dear husband hates about them. I go to wipe it out and Holy Shit the eye looks like utter hell. I grab her put her on the kitchen counter to get a better look. It is just caked with goo, and swollen looking, it is draining into her nose area because her nose is clogged with goo on the same side. I freak. I try and clean her off, grab the antibiotics that I have for the dogs and give her one dose. Of course it is 8:30 on a Friday night and the vet is closed. Yes, I could go to the 24 hour one but the one that is closest to our house, well they just suck. I have had a few instances with them and I hate them, they should be closed down, twice they have raped me for treatment that I have to go to my regular vet to have re-diagnosed and corrected. They just suck and writing and telling them so does nothing.

So, early yesterday morning, Millie and I head out to the vet at 7:30 am. We make the long drive to the vet that I just love, they are no fancy place they mainly cater to low income families, and they care like you would not believe. It is not the Ritz but let me tell you, my boy Pug Bucky almost died on me due to massive kidney stones. It was severe, they had him for about a full month in treatment at the vet and I paid, $ 1100.00. I paid $ 350.00 for the emergency visit the first time this was an issue and all they did was pass a catheter through him. He was in severe treatment at the vet for a month and had several surgeries. Needless to say he is known quite well at the vet.

Back to Millie sorry! So, we go and they first tell me she has glaucoma and it is an emergency and she needs to go to the eye clinic in Dallas, ASAP. Then they bring in the other vet to have a look and they re-asses the situation and then diagnose her with dry eye. We are now on drop treatment twice a day for the remainder of her life, but hell 12 yr old pug and this is the first eye issue we have, she is killing the odds on this one! So, after the eye stain, the drops to numb the eye to test her pressure, and her vaccinations, kill two birds there! We are home and hopefully her eye will get better soon. It seems a bit better and she can still see but the irritation has really got it angry looking. I am praying all works out for the best for her. Since I was in dog mode I then bathed all three of them yesterday and took my Dremel to the toe nails and all three had a day of beauty. I am still sore from bathing three dogs in the backyard. But they are some clean looking and fancy foot lookin' dogs right now.

Of course I have been through the , I neglect the dogs so bad now because I have a child and feel like shit. I swear it is always something that makes me feel like I am running from one place to the next trying to cover all the bases and I just cannot do it all. It fucking sucks.

Been to Costco this morning, had to stock up on Yogos and fruit chew snacks for the husband and the kid. I had to get coffee creamer for work, it should be a food group, coffee should be a food group I have decided. I just cannot function without coffee. On the way to the vet, I had to stop for coffee, thank God for the doughnut place that has the drive thru for coffee and donuts for the vets office.

Enjoy the extra day off from work, I am loving every minute of it!


Freaky things I just don't like

On Tuesday my Mom on her way to work was passed by in the right lane by someone on a motorcycle. She said it was someone in an extreme hurry to get to work and during his lane change he lost control of his motorcycle. He went to the left of the highway, and his motorcycle went to the right. The guy was able to get up from the wreck and limp away. My Mom said this happened right in front of her, she said everything was fine on her end just a bit shook up. A miracle that he did not get run over by the traffic on the highway or hurt worse than his limping. The lady that was behind her tapped her bumper but she said there was no damage. She did not go over and see the driver of the motorcycle, she said there were many people who were helping him and called for medical attention.

Yesterday on my way home from work, I passed another person on a motorcycle who had lost control on a hill and was laying hurt on the sidewalk. When I passed all I saw was a man laying down swaying back and forth on the ground in pain. A motorcycle 3 feet away crashed on the sidewalk, a group of people huddled around him as they are waiting for medical attention. I just don't get the point of riding something where you are offered no protection whatsoever. If you are a fan of the motorcycle, Great for you, I pray that you will remain safe while riding your motorcycle. Personally, I hate them, despise them and I have many many friends that ride them and I fear them. The wound of Bonnie's death in September is still fresh for me. The long weekend coming up has me rehashing the phone call I got on Labor Day Weekend, the one where I was told she was killed. Maybe it is the long weekend, maybe it is the accidents I have seen, maybe it is my husband trying to deal with losing a co-worker. Maybe it is everything or nothing but the past few days have been hard thinking about death all over again. It just can be a bit overwhelming at times. But, I plug along.

On a happier note...

Yesterday Sydney was mad because after throwing the hand held Yatzee game twice on the tile floor I took it away from her. If you cannot play with it nicely then you lose it. She in turn is pissed, oh so mad at me and goes to our dresser that has handles that you pull out on to open the drawers. She takes the wire that makes the handle and proceeds to bite it out of anger. Yeah, it was funny. We also tried to run/climb up the stairs twice yesterday. We sat her on her tile and told her no going upstairs. After the second time-out she lost interest, all the while, while I was telling her "You go up the stairs, you have to sit on the tile and do nothing." Tonight, I could be in for 20 times up the stairs and on the tile. Who knows, and now, yes now I have the BRILLIANT idea to think about potty training. She will sign when her diaper is wet, I can ask do you need clean pants, and is beginning to tell me yes when she does. I am going to get the potty and introduce the concept, I could be attempting to climb Everest without ever having set foot on a mountain...this could be good or really bad and it could go downhill really fast. Stay tuned for potty training/trauma as events unfold. You know, I am just going to go with the flow, no pun intended, if it works it works, if not we stop for a few months and try again. What the hell!

Long weekend ahead, can you smell it? And, wouldn't you opt to try to repair the part on the air conditioner first before spending 6-9K on a new unit? The A/C guy just left with me instructing him to try and fix it first even if it is a few 100 bucks or so, I quote "Once we do this there is no guarantee that it will not break again." Yeah, sounds like every other repair man I have dealt with, I just am not up to spending that kind of money yet if I can get another 3-6 months out of the current unit. Call me a money grubbing whore, yeah I am, but fuck, give me a break.


Not liking this reality

I am about to post about something that happened on Sunday. My husband has made a quick post about this on his blog. Ever since all the news came flooding in, it pretty much has occupied my mind and I know has bogged his down with unimaginable sorrow and just the inability to process such horror. On Sunday, after a long weekend of shed building, kid toting and just your random weekend stuff we are jerked back into reality that a co-worker of my husband's has been murdered in her home. At first the information that we were getting was so sketchy and the name of the supposed victim was wrong in the gossip train that was running rampant. By the time the 10:oo news hit the airwaves the victim's name was stated on the report and it was a co-worker of my husband's. I guess we never adapt to death, but one can rationalize an accident to it being "their time to go." But how to you rationalize a murder? A question we often ask ourselves but never in a situation where it can touch you close to home. I never met this woman, but I have listened to my husband speak of her starting on Sunday night, the on-going theme I hear from everyone who knew her was that she was just so nice and sweet and would not ever hurt anyone. She had a long job history with my husband's employer, over 17 years, she was a kind woman. It is so tragic that this family has been robbed of their dear family member.

There has been no news made public in regards to this case, no arrests been made, nothing other than an obit in today's paper. I hope that as this case progresses the news is made public and I hope that they find the killer of this dear woman.


Bring back the slam book

I had this thought yesterday as I surfed Classmates.com. Yes, I am a Gold Standard Member. Yes, it is really a throwback and possibly I want to relive my great days of neon pink and yellow, the blue streaks in the hair and the hair bands when I believe that music was at its best. Maybe it is my shallow way of hanging on to my youth. But as I surfed and looked at the names I so wanted them to include a Slam Book. Does anyone remember the slam book, or am I talking out of my ass here? I know girls will remember them better than guys. They were the books made up of notebook paper where people had their names on them and each person wrote something about the persons name titled on the page. The catch, each person who wrote something had a number tied to their comment so you could go back and see who was responsible for each comment.

Many a feeling was hurt during the slam book era, especially mine. I can remember this being a moment in my life where I finally called someone out on their comment. One person in particular wrote that I was "Cheesy". Yes, the horror of being called Cheesy when you are in the 7th grade, how would I ever make it in life because Orleen called me Cheesy! I just could not believe what I read, so I asked Orleen, "Why did you write I was cheesy in the slam book?" She actually looked embarrassed to be called out on her comment and from that point on never wrote anything negative about me that I could find. This whole memory long as it is, made me think yesterday why not have a slam book on classmates.com where we can address classmates from our past. I would love to know why Cindy was such a bitch. I would love to ask, "Why such a bitch to me? What did I ever do to you to make you call me such mean and hateful names?" And all the other 20 people that called me names. But then I think, are they worth it? Do I think that they have done valuable things with their life? No probably not. Half of the people that were mean to me are not even on classmates.com. Why you ask, my guess, they cannot afford a computer, or do not have a job where they even know how to operate one. Yeah, call me cheesy, but you know what? 19 years later, I will be the one calling you cheesy because I put forth the effort to advance in life and did not give up at the age of 14. Bitter still, no just able to see the whole picture for what it is. Makes me think about these kids that come back and shoot up schools or fellow classmates because they were teased. Yeah, so was I but my Mom told me early on in life, there is always someone who is not going to like you, that is life. Better to try and understand that now than to walk around and always have your feelings hurt.

I was fortunate in my high school years, in a sense that I moved during my sophomore year in high school. I left my old life behind and the people that I had gone to school with since kindergarten. Moved to Texas with no history, clean slate. Moved to a state that each and every person I met worshiped me for being 6'1" tall, went from being a freak to a jock overnight. Strange to get to walk both sides of the fence. I miss my friends from my geek days the most, I only had 3 really good friends from high school here in Texas that I really care about today, but the friends I had right before I moved to Texas are the ones I still wonder about and miss still to this day. Cheesy, yep and that is me, and I would not have it any other way. Orleen was right and I was wrong in seeing it as the bad thing, it just takes 19 years to get there.


The Dinner

Wednesday nights dinner was beyond being able to put into words. The food was great, but I think what I liked more than the food was the people we got to meet and the conversation. We met Dotty Griffith and she also had a friend of hers join us. He used to own 1/2 of this magazine. I did not find this out until we had left that evening. He had mentioned what he did and I did not grasp it the background noise was too loud. When we left Scott then told me he had owned 1/2 of the magazine and sold it a few years ago. Needless to say he has done QUITE well for himself. We went to Brio Tuscan Grille. And this is how things work when you go with a food critic...you EAT A LOT, and DRINK A LOT. Dotty told us that this is how it works, everyone has to get something different from the menu. She has to try everyone's item and we are allowed to try anything of hers we care to. We will have drinks, appetizers, a main course and dessert. (And then off to the bathroom to puke!) We had two bottles of wine with only three people drinking. We ordered two appetizers, we had the fried calamari and the beef carppacio. I selected the beef, it was really very good, my one suprise's for the evening, beef carppacio is raw sliced beef, yes raw never seen any heat source unless the plate serving the meat has just been taken out of the dishwasher. Raw, and I am not into raw meat, but I selected it and it was good. It had a very clean taste and truthfully it did not taste like anything. The aoli they served with it and the mixed greens were really good. It was very cleansing to the pallet.

On to this main course, everyone at the table orders an entree'. I had the grilled lamb chops because lamb in an Italian setting sounded very interesting. Scott had the wood planked grilled salmon, Dotty had the Shrimp and Lobster Garganelli Pasta, and Michael our other dining companion had the grilled center cut-filet. Then we also had the straw and hay pasta dish. The waiter miss keyed my order and I got pork chops, they worked to correct that and get me the lamb chops, they let us keep the pork chops also. We had a TON of food. I had all that was left, which was 4 containers full packed up to take home.

Then we moved to coffee and dessert. We had the trio dessert, it was three desserts, a cheesecake that had been encased in a sugar creme-brulee like sugar topping. Then this dessert also had creme brulee and a warm chocolate torte with a scoop of vanilla gelato. It was just so much food. All the food I brought home I took to work on Thursday and 4 of us ate it for lunch and we still had one meal left. TONS OF FOOD. It was spectacular and I would really eat there again. The location was very nice, parking was a hassle but we figured it out and tons of shopping right out the front door. It is located in an open air mall. It was an experience that I am not likely to forget. I would love to have a job like that! I have to find my food business niche.


Someone just e-mailed

Me this....

That is nasty baby....just nasty. I will not post the rear view, but let me just say I think you can say we have a man thong here in action. Gross...

And then I read about this in the paper. Who would want to smell like Play-doh? I do have to admit as you scroll down the page, the marshmallow shooter they had..that looked like some fun shit.


4 Stars

Back in September no it was August because I was able to tell Bonnie about it, and she died the first weekend in September, so anyway, back in August I won a dinner for 2 at a local 4 star restaurant. Pretty cool prize huh? Yeah, well that is only one part of the prize, the second part of the prize is that in this dinner we are the guests of a Dallas Morning News Food Critic. With how crazy everything has been the past few months we are now getting around to using my prize. So tonight we are off to our dinner, the kiddo will be spending the evening with her Grandparents, we had to practically break their arms to keep her again! Needless to say my Dad is super excited to have another 12 hours to spoil Syd rotten to the core.

I just realized on my way to work, that I have no clothes to wear to this dinner. It is business casual and lucky person that I am, I get to wear jeans to work. I really don't think they want me to saunter in there in my best Levi's. My old business suits don't quite fit very well, thank you Serquil, you make me a balanced person with an extra 12 pounds to carry around. I just don't want to sport the too tight dress pants that look too tight and shitty. So, I am leaving early because I am the boss and I can, and going to attempt to find something nice to wear. This could be fun or it could be a total horror of a trip. I could really get in a shitty mood fast but I am attempting to go at this with an open mind and hope that I fall into the right outfit early on. Then home to get ready with all the preparation that takes. The showering, the shaving, the hair styling, the application of make-up and body moisturizer you know the whole bit. I might need more time than I am planning on, since I have this whole "overhaul" that has to get done. Let's just pray the clothes hunting goes off well...

This week marks the start of Sydney's transition time into the next classroom at her school. She has been spending different blocks of time in the Young Toddler classroom at her school. They must be playing her hard because she has been exhausted when she gets home from school. Her Daddy has been upset because this week when he goes to pick her up she has been not too happy to go home. Glad she loves being there but she is breaking his heart when she throws a fit when he comes to get her. Transition time is hard for me as a parent, it is just more proof that she is growing up. I keep asking her "where my baby is", she just looks at me like "I don't know did you check the trash?" Next college, just watch and see.


A day full of tears

Last night GA did not cease to cause the flood of tears I predicted. At one point in the show Scott looked at me and said "You know it is all going way too well." I said "Yeah, Denny's gonna die." I so wanted to be wrong on that. But, alias, Denny passed and Izzy was not there with him because she wanted to look her best for him. It is that bitter sweet hurt. All for a TV show. Yeah, GA is probably a woman's wet dream. I think this is what you call the female equivalent to a great sports game that men watch on TV. Maybe that is not a fair comparison because the television show is fictional. Last night there were a range of emotions that I think everyone can relate to in some aspect of their life. The scene where they have to put Doc the dog down, boy anyone who has had to do that, tell me you were not re-living your own personal pain there. And to be there with someone that you cannot allow to hug you for comfort.

The moment for me that really hit home, if anyone gives a shit. Well, here it is, Derek is talking to Meredith are in the one exam room. She is telling him not to look at her and he starts saying, "Do you think I want to look at you? Don't you think that I want to look at my wife this way?" He starts talking about how he is having all these feelings for her that he should be having for his wife but he feels nothing for her like he does for Meredith. I lived that moment. My relationship with Scott was born out of a moment like that. I felt the pain Derek was feeling but also an overwhelming love for someone you never thought you would ever have. The love for someone that is more powerful than you both, that no matter how much you try and deny it, it is bigger than you both and it consumes you both. And my sweet dear husband brought me tissues while I cried on the couch watching this drama unfold.

Needless to say when I woke up, my eyes were giving Sandra Oh's competion, they were just about swollen shut due to all the damn crying. Then I get to work and have some issues to deal with. Then I get an e-mail from my Dad. Needless to say after this e-mail I had to close my door because I just cannot handle when my Dad tells me he is proud of me. Without getting too indepth into the e-mail here is an excerpt:

I asked your Mom if I messed up when you where little, not heaping attention on you like I do Sydney. She asked if I felt guilty, I confess I feel a bit so. I can't begin to tell you how totally awestruck I get seeing her grow and develop.

To say thank you to you and Scott for having her is rather silly, but I do know now how others rave about those terrific grand children. I hope I'm always a good influence upon her and she and I are always buddies and close friends....
She like her Mommy is not only beautiful but she just lights up your heart when she does simple things.

You have made me so proud with your accomplishments and success and level headed ambition I can't begin to explain it all. I look at your success and determination and I admire it totally. You have an understanding of things I've never had to encounter especially when it comes to handling people. I tend to either like some one or go the opposite way and shield myself from them, you seem to see through it and work with even the difficult ones......... well, that's pretty cool to me.

I know there is a vast difference between our individual talents, but like your Mother each task you undertake you seem to accomplish far above what may of been expected of you. In that you are so much like your Mom. I'm just so glad I don't have to compete against you both that would be insurmountable.

Now with Sydney, she is certainly a little sponge, and her understanding is so sharp she has such fantastic potential. Heck, I even love her hardheadedness and all, it defines her and makes her and individual and independent to a degree. That's a characteristic you will come to appreciate as she gets older, it may not always make you happy but having a will and the nerve to stand up for yourself is paramount in today world. It's a trait you can't teach you have to have it ingrained in you from the start. Like Ol' Joe Hader used to say "Can't, can't cut it". Course he also said if your looking for "sympathy" it's in the dictionary between "shit and sweat". LOL funny what sticks to you after all these years.

I guess that's what draws me to the Yacht Club bunch they are like "Dad's" in some respects and like "Big Brothers" in others, but they admire and appreciate some one taking initiative and completing a task at hand and making the effort. In that I find a lot of rewards.

I often wonder if I've imparted enough wisdom to you but candidly I think your ambition has shown you know what's right and strive to do so. I know your boss and your work is better for having you there, and I know Scott is really lucky to share his life with you, a relationship is so important it's your defense against the world.
I know proving myself to your Mom was something I really prided myself in and doing so with the constant reminder that your Grandmother and your Grandfather had their doubts made it even more of a "can do" attitude for me. Your Mom, is just so special she's the rock in our foundation, plus she curbs my enthusiasm some so I don't go out of bounds too often! There isn't anyone I can say would of backed me up like she has and "spoiling her a little is a life long dream of mine". She's been my motivation for so long it's as if life would have no meaning had I not met her and shared our love and life together. I hope as you grow older you too can reflect upon how strong a relationship is and how together you both are armed against that big bad world out there.

Ok enough soap box stuff........... Just know your as special now as ever and that little Sydney is just a second chance for a old man to show he really wasn't the worst daddy in the world....... maybe second worst....... :-)

Love ya forever.......

Tears, a day full of tears, but God.... it feels good to be loved.


So much drama all for a TV show

Pretty freaking crazy when your blog post is about the first part of the season finale for Grey's Anatomy. Damn that Shonda Rhimes, she is a freaking genius I tell you. I am literally sitting in bed, bolted upright and saying over and over "Oh No, Oh No, Oh No!!!" Scott is laying next to me and he says "OOPS! That's bad!" I was in tears, and I still have to get through tonight's 2 hour season finale. I just read the blog entry on ABC's website by one of the writers. He said that the last scene with Meridith and Derek had words, the one where they were in the elevator. But, Patrick Dempsey said it would play better if the did not have words. I have to say I thought the scene said more than words ever could. Wow! WOW!!! This show I have to tell you, I would give up all my reality crap every TV show I love to watch just for GA if I HAD to. I LOVE this show and am so damn sad I will be waiting till August/September for the beginning of the new season.

Speaking of Drama, Survivor finale was last night, pretty much could pick the winner after I saw who she took to the finals with her. This season was OK, it never really had me hanging like some in the past. This one was different a lot of medical traumas but still no real love/hate relationships. The one guy Shane, he was just weird, freakishly weird!

So, you can see I wrapped up my Mother's Day with the television. I had a fantastic Mother's Day. Scott and I went to the Byron Nelson and the night before went to a party. We were the last couple to leave that evening I think we got in around 1:30 AM. We were kidless for almost 24 hours. It was nice but sad at the same time. It was great to get to pick her up and love all over her. I had a great weekend, which is good because on Friday I was not sure how things were going to transpire. But, I was treated very well by my husband and I really enjoyed the time we had together yesterday, it was just "nice" to be together walking the course and then sitting and watching in some great seats. It was a perfect day. I would love to have another one real soon. I felt like the luckiest Mom around.

Well, people, get ready for massive quantums of tears tonight in GA, I can just feel it. Damn I love that show!


Bow..Bow..Bow..Bow, ahh she likes BOWS

Yeah, she is ALL girl and she loves her some bows. See her purse that she has taken to carring. She puts it on her arm and is off. Now, as long as she does not learn about credit cards....

People who want to wish me Happy Your a Motherfucker Day

Yeah, I got them lined up all over hating my ass right now.

  1. The Southwestern Bell Yellow Pages Guy.
  2. The lady in A/P that I yelled at yesterday about the 3K I needed ASAP. Yeah, she sent the check on the 27th of April, funny not here! Funny, went and picked the funds up today, funny funny the check she MAILED, was one of the ones we got. Fuuuunnnyyyyy! Fucker.
  3. And then the guy that I called about a JANUARY invoice that he still has open. Spoke to him on the 27th, he informed me "I am in the middle of a closing can I call you right back?" Still waiting, he mailed the check on the 10th and we did get it today, but his comment, sorry it is so late, but well it is what it is. And your an Ass, I so wanted to say but I can't. I just do not conduct myself that way. I say it AFTER I get off the phone.
  4. And the guy with the temp company we use that called again this is the 2nd call about an invoice I PAID. I asked the last time someone called to audit our account because I do not have time to do THEIR accounting too, I have my own business to run.
  5. And my employee that I asked last week that was sitting on his ass doing NOTHING and I asked him to go and empty the trash in our kitchen at work. He walked away laughing at me, needless to say, he emptied the trash.
  6. The guy that was behind me on my way to work today and I did not proceed through the light fast enough for him, instead of the light honk, he honked and laid on his horn until he turned the corner. If I was on my A-game, I would have sat through the light after behavior like that and made his honking ass wait. I had not had coffee yet, so I was a bit off this morning.

Let's just say, it has been a banner of a day.


Conversation I just had

I just had this conversation with someone who called.

Sales person: Hello, I am looking for the person who makes the decision about the yellow pages ad.

Me: That would be me.

Sales Person: And your name?

Me: Tawny

Sales Person: Well, Tana is it, and what is your position? Manager? Hello, my name is ______ and you make the decisions about the yellow pages ad?

Me: It's Tawny, and yes I do. I am the office manager and we do not want any ad in the yellow pages.

Sales Person: Oh Tawny, and how do you spell that?

Me: T.A.W.N.Y.

Sales Person: Well Tawny, I do need to confirm the information we have in our free listings section of the yellow pages. Is the business name __________ located at __________and phone number of _______________?

Me: Yes, that is correct. (I always want to say, you dialed this number right? So it MUST be correct, but I always think of this too late!)

Sales Person: And what is this other number ____________ that we have listed on the account, the number is not listed in the directory but what exactly is that number?

Me: That is our metro number.

Sales Person: Oh, yes, that number is listed on your account. We have your company listed under this sub-heading________, would this still be correct?

Me: Yes.

Sales Person: I see here in the past your company did at one time have an ad in the yellow pages. Why have you decided not to continue to advertise in the yellow pages? Since you no longer advertise with us you all are eligible for multiple discounts.

Me: We have found that the RIF (return on investment..see my management classes are paying off!) is not to our satisfaction. We do not get a big enough return for the investment we have had to make.

Sales Person: Ahh, I see. Well, you know our book that was published in January went out to over 250,000 businesses in the DFW area from Kaufman to McKinney and this book stays the their offices and allows you to be in contact with them with your ad. I would love to set a time to come out and meet with you and show you the ads that we offer and what some look like.

Me: No we are not interested, like I said the cost does not outweigh the benefit for our company and we just are not willing to justify that type of loss again.

Sales Person: Well, we have graphs that show how businesses that advertise with us have benefited from our ads.

Me: I am sure that you do, but like I said we are not interested.

Sales Person: Well, I have a graph right here, for __________, do you know them? They have advertise with us for over 15 years .

Me: Good for them, but like I said we are not interested, good bye.

At that point I finally hung up.

Why at that point? The name he dropped in the conversation......our 1# competitor. Homey don't play that. Don't name drop our competitor if your trying to sell something., I will hang up on you and smile while doing it. Never mind the whole time I am talking to him he is so condescending. Plus, I don't know about your business, but we NEVER use the yellow pages. We get them and throw them in the trash. Internet Buddy.

I thought about trying to call back and find his boss, and tell him next time he decides to name drop, he might not want to go about it in this manner.

Just might have been on to something

So, two nights ago we were graced with Britney Spear's surprise appearance on David Letterman to let the public know that she indeed is pregnant again. That her first child only 8 months of age and she is again knocked up with K-FED's dirty offspring...Again. Tuesday night when she was making this appearance I watched a re-run of Sex and the City. The one called "The Baby shower." This one the girls go to a baby shower for a former party-hound friend. Seems that being preggers she has retired her beer bong, drunken flashing for motherhood. It seems that Samantha and this woman were at constant odds of who was the better party girl. After this baby shower, Samantha throws a "I don't have a baby-baby shower." So, tonight I will be trying to break into Jay Leno's studio to make my earth shattering announcement that "I am not pregnant!" Because the world is DYING to know! So fucking stupid.

Then the other day I watched something about how Oprah gained 10 (gasp) pounds because when in Africa visiting her school she only ate mashed potatoes. Then the previews for today's show shows her raking a lady that is 89 pounds over the coals because she is suffering from Anorexia. Some of the comments and the tone Oprah uses in this preview is just down right snotty. Makes me want to jump up and scream, "YOUR JUST JEALOUS LIKE THE REST OF US OPRAH!" So her inability to control her eating binges does that warrant someone to talk to her like she is a piece of shit? I think not, so why oh why are we allowing her to talk to this woman in this manner? For Godsake she is not killing babies or raping people, she is killing herself slowly because she is sick. I think so many people have the hierarchy like this now:
  1. Oprah
  2. God

She is a very driven woman, but that did not give her license to be the labeler for our society. Don't you know Howard Stern has that title?


Got 6 minutes?

If you have 6 minutes to waste watching a funnyassed video, and have speakers, a must have here, check this out. It's some funny shit.

Yeah, I know him

Last February, right after we became parents there was a hot news story that hit our area. A woman who was 7 months pregnant was missing a long with her young son. In the next few days of development, she and her young son and unborn child were found dead. The ex-boyfriend of the woman killed the three of them. There was an accomplice in this case, one who saw the bodies in the back of the vehicle and chose not to do anything about it. I know this person. I worked with this person. I disliked this person from the first time I met him. You can check out some of the news articles at this link. When the story was unfolding I was tuned, when they threw Ron Dodd's photo up there, I felt sick. It was one of those moments where you are like "I never thought I would know of someone like this." I have not seen or spoken to this person for over 10 years, thankfully. But, when we did work together, he always gave me the feeling of, "there is something not right here." His trial was supposed to start this month but now has been pushed back to June. He is facing two counts of tampering of evidence, which holds a maximum of 20 years. He violated his parole during this little stint. So, my guess is that he will have to finish out the 3 years on his former sentence rather than get anything off of these new counts. I just cannot imagine seeing dead bodies and choosing to do nothing. Don't the ghosts of what you saw haunt you?

I have spent the better part of my morning talking to a fellow co-worker about this case. Seems he ran into a former co-worker of ours that still sees Dodd. I asked, why the hell would he do that, doesn't he believe in guilt by association? He stated the same thing, he said "that is what I said." Seems Dodd has an ankle bracelet like Martha Stewart had, and has to be home at 8 PM every night. I just don't think I could ever be with someone or be friends with someone who played any part of a situation like this. The fact of seeing the bodies and not doing anything about it? Why does not even scratch the surface.



Yesterday when I got home from work, I felt like utter crap. Last week I had an employee that was sick for two days, seems that their illness they so nicely passed along to me. But, the difference between them and myself, I cannot miss work. Just not possible at this time on the work calendar. So, when I got home last night it took all willpower to make it until Syd crashed for the night, then off to bed myself. I get pissed at times because I am not able to miss like others are able to, but I am management and unlike the management jokes, that managers stand around and do nothing, I work hard and try hard not to miss work. I am carrying around 8 vacation days from last year that I have yet to use. And unlike others that I have encountered in management I do not find the need to keep telling everyone how many hours past 40 hours a week I have worked. When I worked for Corporate America, the director of our department always had to tell us about the 80+ hours she worked. That type of behavior really bothers me. I don't know maybe that is the norm, but in my experience the ones who are bitching that they are overworked are the ones that have too much spare time on their hands to bitch.

Mother's Day is fast approaching and I have no freaking clue what to get my Mom. I am thinking food gift certificates will work best. She and my Dad are working on getting their house de-cluttered and adding to the household belongings just does not seem to work towards their main goal right now. Gotta put that on my to-do list for this week.

I'm still dead tired, I guess I have just resigned to the fact this is the way I will live my life. It makes me cranky and pissy, but well, from the moment I get up till Syd is in bed I am doing something. Seems strange to some that once she goes down, my main goal is to follow in my own pursuit to get into bed. And this goal does not help with the tasks of getting the boxes in my closet unpacked, but by the time she goes down I am drained of everything I had to start my day. I feel that I am slighting her by being so damn tired and I am at a loss of how to make everything balance so no one is short changed. But in the whole equation I feel I am the one who gets shorted the most. I pretty much am going and doing for others all day long, making sure everyone has what they need or making sure that everything is balanced at work to keep going along. I guess all this comes from feeling overwhelmed in so many aspects. That family time together is lacking, that spending quality time with Syd is a balancing act too. Does she get the adequate amount of time from 6:15 pm to 8 pm a night? Making sure she is eating a balanced meal for dinner, making sure she is drinking, bathing her, exercising her mind as well as her body, making sure she brushes her teeth, I have been such a freaking slacker on this. I worry that I cannot cover all the bases in and hour and 45 min a night and I feel like I am slighting her on these things. Why can't I be happy with what I do give her, why does it never seem like enough? These are not new questions, just ones that keep swirling in my head over and over and over. Why is it when you are the most down about life all of these things seem to be more on the surface and cause you more pain than what you are already feeling?

Blahh, I just feel blah.



Yesterday was such a happy day for me. First I had a new employee start that did not have a criminal history that involved stealing over 200K, or did not test positive for any illegal substances. My only hope is that working for me does not corrupt her to turn to porn or any of the forementioned behaviors..haha. Second, I sent an e-mail via Classmates a few weeks ago to a guy that I thought was the brother of a girl that was one of my best friends in Jr. High. As it turned out he was, and he passed on my e-mail. It had been a few weeks and I still had not heard from my friend. Yesterday sitting at work, my phone rings and I answer and she says my name I say "yes" and she says it's _____. I just about fell out of my chair. It made my day. She and I reconnected like the past 20 years never even passed without talking everyday. So many things in common it is FRIGHTENING!! Her and my husband share the same name, her husband teaches and graduated from the high school that so many of my sorority sisters attended. I e-mailed Jen, one of my sisters and she knows of my friends husband. Her brother graduated in his class. It was just unbelievable. Like that whole Six Degrees of Separation thing. 20 years, unfucking believable. It really made my day.

My Daughter has this ability to fall down, scrape the hell out of her knees and keep running like nothing has happened. I guess it has to do with us saying "uh-oh, your ok, rub some dirt on it." But truthfully her knees are looking pretty banged up. I guess it adds character to those pretty dresses her Mommy dresses her in. Her inability to sleep or sure will to not to succumb to the petty thing called sleep is decreasing. I think the more we take the medicine the more her body is adjusting to it. The foil packets they give it in are pretty cool. It is sad seeing that it is the dosage for 6 months to 3 years of age. My poor baby was born with allergies the size of Alaska. I think she is doomed to have a booger encrusted nose until she is 16. Maybe by then she will not throw such a fit in getting her nose wiped. I swear I am adding master booger picker to my resume if the need to find a new job ever arises.

How is it that I can be 35 but I feel like I am still 14? Does this phenomenon ever end, will I always feel like a 14 yr old?


Farts are always funny

I read Dooce everyday. I have watched this video about 5 times and each time I laugh harder and harder. If your up for cheap child humor check this out.

Memory made of crap

I have always prided myself on my memory. Recently it has turned to shit, a big pile of it. Moving into our new house and all the drama that comes along with that, plus work drama, and just your daily life drama has caused the little things to slip by. We have new neighbors, and for some reason I have had one hell of a time remembering the names of the wives that live next door to our house. Then all of a sudden it dawned on me how fucking clueless I was... I looked at my Husband and said, "What is David's wife name again?" He told me and I looked at him and said, "What is wrong with me that I cannot remember that her name is KIMBERLY?" DUH! The name of your best friend? Then if God was not getting such a great laugh out of me, last night I officially met the other wife on the other side of us. Her name I am not going to write here, but it is the name of the employee that I just fired two weeks ago.....what is up with the mental block? I am pretty sure I will not forget their names now that I have associated them with something that means something to me. Now, I have to work on Kimberly's 4 little girls names...maybe by the time we move I "might" have it down.

In other news in our house...Syd had her 15 month shots on Monday. This one by far was the worst of all the shots. I thought the first ones were the worst, when you watch that little baby face crumble and scream. But no, this one took the cake. This time she cried for 15 minutes and while Daddy paid and made the next appointment I took her outside, I tried to go back in a few minutes later and that started the crying and screaming all over again. Association of the place to shots has begun. She cried so hard and for so long that she was doing the gasping and crying, just totally out of control and upset. Yes, I cried and I had been doing so well, the past two times I did not cry. I was able to console her pretty fast and she settled right down...not this time.....

They also changed her allergy medication around. She has been coughing so much with all the crap that is flying through the air. Just so much drainage! So, we had to do the cough medicine route. Well, that is a short term fix and we had outlasted that welcome. So now she is taking Singular. Last night was the 2nd dose in her yogurt. I think this is baby speed....last night she was tired, rubbing the eyes, cranky as can be. Her normal I am tired behavior. Usually and I say usually as in all the time, we get her dressed for bed put her down, she might fuss for a minute but most times not a peep. Last night she went down around 7:30 pm....she did not fall asleep until almost 10 PM. Yes, almost 10. She cried a bit, I went in and rubbed her back, she settled down and was happy laying there getting her back rubbed, then all of a sudden she popped up and was ready to go. My way of dealing is if you cannot lay down and try to sleep no back rubs or pats. So, out of the room I went, she talked, sang, fussed, sang, talked, and did all sorts of other things until almost 10 PM. I am trying this medicine once more tonight and if we have the same reaction, she gets it at school from here on out. I keep thinking maybe it is the shots, who knows!! All I do know is that her nose is not as messy and the coughing has been reduced in an amazing amount. When I dropped her off today, I told them, she should be tired but she seemed to be in her rare form of entertaining. Trying to get her dressed this morning was a chore. She was all over the bed screaming out of pure joy with life and just being a ham. Then while I was buttoning her dress she pressed the alarm button for my car and the horn starts honking and honking and honking. That was freaking hilarious, she really did something amazing there! I said her name and she just gave me that million dollar smile that says "Yep I am amazing and you know it!"

I hope and pray and pray and hope that tonight's yogurt infused with Singular does not produce toddler on speed. For the love of God she has got to sleep!!! Maybe I can train her to clean house with all that energy.



There is SUCH an Aggie joke in this photo. I mean I am busting at the seams from making it. As you can see Aggie training starts early in our house, all furnished by Daddy, He is the Aggie.

Vanilla Custard Style Yogurt face mask. It is what all the 15 month olds are doing to preserve that baby soft skin. Plus makes them smell so yummy and so sticky you can stick them almost anywhere for easy storage.


Just had to steal it

Thanks Mrs. Marcos for this list! I read hers and thought how fun it sounded. If your not into lists about ME then skip this post. Inquiring minds want to know, and I am here to tell!

3 names you go by:

  1. Wub
  2. The Wub
  3. She's the boss

3 screen names you have gone by

  1. Millie
  2. thewub
  3. wub96is

3 things you like about yourself

  1. hard work ethic
  2. willingness to not let things beat me
  3. my height

3 things you hate/dislike about yourself

  1. lacking math and spelling skills, it just does not come easy to me
  2. self doubt
  3. gaining weight

3 things that scare you

  1. my child dying before me
  2. losing my spouse
  3. snakes

3 things you're wearing right now

  1. red shoes
  2. a cross
  3. clothes (shirt, jeans, and undergarments)

3 of your favorite bands/artists

  1. Def Leppard
  2. Sting or The Police
  3. Oasis

3 of your favorite songs at present

  1. Wonderwall/Oasis
  2. Rock of Ages/Def Leppard
  3. The Reflex/Duran Duran

they all make me think of great times in my life, I could care less if they are old!

3 new things you want to try in the next 12 months

  1. Cooking for a profit
  2. being a recipe tester
  3. maybe get a tatoo??? probably not though

3 things you want in a relationship (love is a given)

  1. forgiveness
  2. honesty
  3. fidelity

2 truths and a lie (no particular order)

  1. I live less than three miles from my ex-husband and he has no clue
  2. I swore I would never have children
  3. I lost my virginity on my wedding night
    (which one is the lie?)

3 physical things about a love interest that appeal

  1. height
  2. eyes
  3. arms

3 things you just can't do

  1. Like/enjoy/laugh at British Comedy...snore!
  2. drink milk...ugh! Gross
  3. stop worrying about something, anything!

3 of your favorite hobbies

  1. cooking
  2. reading
  3. shopping

3 things you want to do really badly right now

  1. win the lottery
  2. sleep
  3. eat lunch

3 careers you've considered

  1. police officer
  2. chef
  3. teacher

3 places you want to go on vacation

  1. Belize
  2. Virgin Islands
  3. Hawaii again!!!

3 kids names (either boy or girl)

  1. Brett
  2. Riley
  3. Regan

3 things you want to do before you die

  1. See my child graduate college, marry, and have children in this correct order!
  2. Hold my grandchild
  3. make a difference

3 people who have to take this quiz

  1. anyone who wants to
  2. anyone who cares to
  3. does not matter to me