Going, Going, Gone

The tooth drama of 2006 I hope to God is over. The long and short of it is that after the consultation on Monday with the other dentist, they could not guarantee that I would not lose the tooth with them treating it. So the other option have it pulled. I went with the latter choice, thinking they would do I get to go back to my regular dentist to have that done and on Monday he had Jury Duty. He saw me on Tuesday and right before I went in I downed two more pain pills that I had been eating like candy over the weekend. Numbing my mouth took longer than the tooth pulling, and it was quite frankly easy and painless. After he pulled it he said, "Oh good thing you opted for this choice, look at the root of the tooth here, it has a cyst on it and this would have kept going on and on until you pulled it, treated or not." So my choice was the right one and all for the low price of $ 100.00, thanks for the $ 50.00 discount Dr. Jack! I think it was the pigs in a blanket I took to them for all the help they gave me the past few days.

Monday night my gum next to my cheek was swollen with an abscess. It was fucking gross, the dentist I saw on Monday said, "Yeah, it would be a lot bigger if you were not on the anti-biotics right now." It finally popped on Monday night and it was disgusting, there was no way in hell I was swallowing that shit, but afterwards the pressure and the throbbing was so much better. When I saw Dr. J that next AM I told him it popped and he said "Felt much better, hun?" Hell yes was my response I think.

And yes, I went straight to work afterwards, I just want my tombstone to read "She was always dedicated to her job, no matter what."

Thursday, I was supposed to leave work at 12 noon for a 1/2 day, I left at 4 PM. But that is OK, never mind that it is 2:32 AM on Friday morning and after two Lunesta to sleep I am awake and getting nervous about flying is always something I tell you.

Pray for Syd to be an angel on the plane please. Benadryl in hand we will be off for our family vacation later this afternoon.

Thank GOD...I need a BREAK!


What a week

I have tried to up my blogging and my efforts as you see have failed. So much has flown by this week so here is a quick outline.

Monday: My everso bothersome employee that I have hoped and prayed would resolve into other employment came in that afternoon and gave me notice that Friday would be the last day of their active employment with the company. I was asked, "Didn't you expect it?" by said employee and no I did not but the week previous when we dressed better than capri pants and a t-shirt I was hoping that my luck would change. And it did. Then I was told by said employee "You and I just don't mesh." Really? Could it be because you were busted looking for another job on my time on my company computer, or that I took the Internet off of your computer after you had been warned about your abuse of the use of it, or that you were doing other people's taxes on the company computer for profit or could it be that in my insane thoughts I expected you to work? Said employee did work and did just enough to get by. I would ask for other jobs to be done and after my request I was answered with a huge sigh. I guess this was the way to tell me I don't want to do them but I guess I will. Who the fuck knows I just know that yesterday at 4:00 PM I am no longer this persons boss and it feels fucking wonderful.

Tuesday: Searching for employee replacement hits overdrive...see I go on vacation next week...
That night I fall asleep I think around 2 am. Mind you I took 3 benadryl and they did nothing to make me fall asleep. Eventually I had to have 1/2 of a Xanax to help my panic that I will not have this position filled in time and all hell will break lose.

Wednesday: Again no sleep, still searching for an employee. First interview set up for today and I got stood up. This could suck. Panic is still on the cusp. Still not able to sleep all the night through. Don't think I slept that whole night. Was up watching tv till God knows when. But going to the Dr. Tomorrow hopefully the end will be in sight.

Thursday: Doctors appointment to do med check on new meds. Weight issue with other meds. I just about kissed the Dr. when the scale said I had lost 5 pound and last time I was in shorts and a t-shirt. This time I was in jeans and a sweater. I can tell a real difference my eating is right back to where it was before the meds and I eat only when I am truly hungry. Many times a cheese stick will be my dinner and do not have that craving for crap food when I take these new meds. Told Dr. about my inability to sleep and then told him I had taken Ambeien when I was pregnant..once and never will again. I had hallucinations that I was a man, it was a freakish thing. So he prescribed Lunesta. Well, he gave me a huge bag full of samples and also refilled my Xanax for the plane ride next week. We are hoping that once I am on vacation I will be able to sleep normally. Since Bonnie was killed in September of 2005 I have yet to fall asleep without Benadryl, or some other sleep aid like allergy meds or nyquil. Nights freak me out, the other meds I was on for my racing mind would put me out but well the weight gain was just too much. So Wednesday night I go and take my sleep med, just one because well it is new meds. At 1 AM I am still awake....
Also on Thursday....For the past 2 weeks I have been fighting a toothache but it comes and goes, Thursday I was kicking my ass. So I have pain meds for my root canal I had a few months ago so I take that and it helps. I call the dentist by this time they are closed. They call back and tell me to come in at 8 AM on Friday. Interview two people and think I have found the one. Call her back she said she will come in on Friday and take her drug and background check and agrees to come back and start training.

Friday: Go to the dentist, and well, news is not good. I have an infection below my one tooth that had a root canal when I was 21. The infection is pushing my now crowned tooth up and causing it to be the first tooth to be hit when I bite down. The infection is trying to force its way out. Now my gum is very inflamed and I have to see an oral surgeon ASAP. They are closed on Friday. So with my prescriptions of codeine and antibiotics I am sent on my way. I am freaked because I fly out next Friday...I hope this gets done! I work my way through the day on pain meds the only last about 4 hours and then my mouth is pounding again. I leave work at 7 yes I said 7 PM last night. My new employee showed up and jumped right into things. The other office people really seem to think it is a good fit. My former employee leaves shortly after 4 and I am so damn grateful that part of my management career is over. I think I have a great network of people working now and with this group I think we will have a system where everyone works as a team and we can have a good time while doing it. Last night when I got home my parents were over to see Syd. I told my Dad I might need him to drive me home this week from the dentist. My Aunt and one of her sons will be there on Monday and leave on Wednesday as they pass through with a youth gathering thing. I hope I can get the time to spend with them this week and get this mouth thing taken care of before I have to leave. Plus I have a ton of work to get done in general and I need to make sure my new employee can do the basics of billing before I leave....I so wish for about 3 more days before I leave for vacation...
Last night 2 lunesta and I slept. Scott has been such a hero today. He has basically given me the day off today. I have slept on and off because my mouth still hurts but the antibiotics are helping. Plus Thursday night I had a meltdown and told him I feel like I am failing at everything and not able to keep my shit together. I guess lack of sleep and pain can cause you to lose your mind at times.

Scott is currently taking Syd to spend the night with my parents. While we are gone I think they are going to have a hard time not seeing her. She is getting to that fun stage and each day she gives us more to be amazed at. We are now talking in 3 word sentences. We have heard a lot about "Bird, eat, bye-bye. And she signs while she says it. And we are saying Thank you...huge deal for me!! We say and sign please a lot but thank-you is a new one.

This week will be busy what an understatement! Please if the dentist have a fairy please ask that fairy to fit me in for this surgery before my vacation!!

Observations at the grocery store

I don't claim to be the world's best parent, in fact I am far from it. We have been dealing with hitting for the past few weeks, yesterday it was kicking. We deal with the hitting with the time-out. I just cannot reason with telling a child to not hit and to spank for hitting. It does not mix to me. BUT, I will spank. Yesterday I did, I still feel like shit for it but it was deserved. Yesterday when I got home from work, I was on the couch with Syd and Daddy. Syd started to kick me three times, we both told her to stop it was not nice. She did it again, and I told her I was going to pop her and I did, on the leg I slapped her leg, her world crumbled and she had tears spring to her eyes immediately. She cried and Daddy told her to tell Mommy she was sorry, the response "no!" She did tell me sorry and we hugged and made up. I feel like shit, I know it was the right way to handle that situation and it is over, but I still hate that I had to do it. Last Saturday she was pinching, I pinched back, she cried, we have yet to pinch again. But the damn hitting thing, I gotta find another way to tell this 17 month old to not hit without hitting her back. My next research project on the net!

ANYWAY! My point, today at Kroger, I am shopping and there is a couple with their child who is younger than Syd, probably about 13 months old. She is looking at the poptarts on the lower shelves and her Father is there watching her, and each time she touches the items on the shelves he slaps her hand. He grabs her hand and slaps it. I saw it happen 5 times. I wanted to cry. Why oh why can't he put her in the buggy seat and give her something to hold and occupy her time with. Why not re-direct her to something else. Why is she allowed to walk the isle if she cannot touch. Everyone else is touching. It was heartbreaking. Over and over, slap. I probably should have said something but I was gutless and just walked on. I came home and told Scott and just still feel like crap for not doing something. The little girl never cried but it still makes me feel bad.

Some people should not be allowed to have children.